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I have recently stopped my sertraline as I have felt that over the years of being on antidepressants the side effects have always outweighed the slight benefits I receive.

I do not feel much worse at the moment without them, my anxiety is heightened however.

My most latest intrusive thoughts are about being intimate with other men. Usually people at my uni or work. I feel these thoughts stick in my head for ages and they give me some sort of euphoric feeling, especially when i speak to the person I am having the thoughts for. When I then go home to my boyfriend I feel spaced out and unable to connect with him as I feel I'm living these fantasies inside my head and not in real life. I then get really upset because I can't stop the thoughts and I feel like I'm cheating on him. I love him so much and it makes me feel that he deserves better!

I then spiral and start panicking about whether I am slipping into psychosis without realising?? Which makes everything even worse. I suffer a lot with depersonalisation which is where I feel the psychosis worry comes from.

Does anyone ever feel any of the above? I'd love some reassurance that I'm not a bad person or about to lose my sanity! 

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I don't think you are a bad person. I believe that many of the thoughts we have don't come from ourselves. There are a lot of unseen forces of evil out there that want to keep us stuck and in pain. I think we have the right to dismiss any thoughts that are harmful to us. The thoughts may come back yet if we toss them out the window and don't rent them space in our heads, I believe that they will eventually leave is alone. Hope this helps some. 

BW

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You are Not going Crazy I can assure you that. Youre tormenting yourself over thoughts that are out of your control. We all have millions of thoughts a day and most people dont think much of them but Our OCD makes us believe as though these thoughts are somehow representative of who we are when their not. Believe me that if everyone had ocd and thought their thoughts represent their self conscious then we would all be in psych wards forever lol

The best thing that helps with intrusive thoughts is trully realizing that our thoughts are not our own and we Can Not control them so there is no point in trying to or getting obsessive over thinking that these thoughts mean something when they dont. I know it sounds really simple but it truly does help when you just let go and let the thoughts be then they will no longer be as intrusive and they wont bother you as much once you accept that you cant control them and its ok dont mean anything and they dont make you a bad person. 

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1 hour ago, June322 said:

You are Not going Crazy I can assure you that. Youre tormenting yourself over thoughts that are out of your control. We all have millions of thoughts a day and most people dont think much of them but Our OCD makes us believe as though these thoughts are somehow representative of who we are when their not. Believe me that if everyone had ocd and thought their thoughts represent their self conscious then we would all be in psych wards forever lol

The best thing that helps with intrusive thoughts is trully realizing that our thoughts are not our own and we Can Not control them so there is no point in trying to or getting obsessive over thinking that these thoughts mean something when they dont. I know it sounds really simple but it truly does help when you just let go and let the thoughts be then they will no longer be as intrusive and they wont bother you as much once you accept that you cant control them and its ok dont mean anything and they dont make you a bad person. 

I been wrestling with this all my life and I’m ashamed of some of the things that go through my mind.  Thanks for sharing 

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What June said is very correct, Intrusive thoughts feed off the reactions that we give them, which allows it to continue and cause some nasty anxiety. I don't have that exact type of intrusive thought but I know all too well how it feels to have them. Fighting them only gives them the power to remain there and circulate. I watched some very good doctors speak about this and how to, I wouldnt say stop having them, but to not react to them and be able to realize that these are not at all who you are or what you really think which makes them powerless and not interfere in your life. 

It starts with the though, which then you react to causing you to get anxious, then leads to feeling guilty, or embaressed and the cycle just continues. The good thing is they say that intrusive thoughts are easy to treat and get passed once you learn how to deal with them. Now, if you are to google help methods for this, make sure to google only success stories, or postive posts because as I've told people before that while you are stuck in this cycling we definitely don't need any negatives to add to the mix. Also, the depersonalization is actually like a safety mechanism for us which when our minds get overloaded with anxiety, or depression it acts like a block to keep yourself from getting overwhelmed and I know it seems really scary at the time but just keep reminding yourself that once you're able to reduce the anxiety and whatever you're dealing with it will get better. 

Consider watching the intrusive thoughts video on youtube from 'intrusivethoughts' that is what helped me quite a bit and now I'm feeling much better. Also, there are a few videos on depersonalization too and it will help you not fear it when it happens. The books from Claire Weeks, and a book called at last a life are also really good reads on helping to overcome anxiety and the things that come along with it. 

If you want to ever talk about it, or more information feel free to pm me anytime! I know what you are going through. Also, be reassured you are not going crazy, this is actually quite common and can be treated. 

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Is it at all possible that it is related to stopping taking the sertraline? One of the side effects of Zoloft can be reduced libido. Your body and mind may have gotten used to the level of your sex drive on the drug - and now that you have stopped taking it - your body and brain need to adjust to the new levels.

It sounds completely natural to me and nothing that you should feel any guilt about. Most women, if pressed, would admit to having the occasional fantasy about someone they know or a stranger. Honestly, once you get to a certain age and have been with the same person for years - a little fantasy can spice things up. As long as you are not acting out sexually with other men - there is not issue imo. I mean, we have heard for years that men think about sex about 1000 times a day - why have we women convinced ourselves that we should never do the same?

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