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feellikeitwontend

Living inside my own head

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Every single thing I do i second guess myself. Its to the point where I contribute nothing in meetings and conference calls because I'm afraid of saying something stupid. I'm constantly just thinking I'm headed for ruin, both financially and emotionally. I'm the sole earner with two kids and the constant pressure to not get fired is overwhelming. Not sure how to get out of this mindset. 

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Second guessing is definitely something I do relentlessly.

I do try to somehow wall off metaphorically speaking of course the useless musings.

Old Man Depression plays the most devious tricks on our psyches so my thought is we should play some clever tricks right back.

Easier said than done but I don't have any choice but to at least try.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Hi there! Just wanted to say I may not have that specific worry, I do have some that seem to circulate through my mind for weeks sometimes longer. It can be scary to say the least. And this is quite common actually. Are you on any medications? Or therapy? It seems that we get thoughts that keep coming back like that because our mind/body is showing reaction to it so often, and it seems that it happens with thoughts that threaten us such as: losing a job. Sounds like just building back up your confidence, and thinking positive thoughts, and not letting those get a reaction can help to -re-wire- the way you're thinking about it. Or at least that is what is working for me. 

Hope that you feel better soon! 

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So sorry that you are struggling so much. It was perfectionism that had me second guessing myself. My therapist helped me see the good side of myself. Using affirmations has helped a lot too. Before I go into a group of people, I tell myself - I count and I matter. When I get negative thoughts in my head, if they are toxic to my health, I throw them out the window.

BW

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15 minutes ago, BeyondWeary said:

So sorry that you are struggling so much. It was perfectionism that had me second guessing myself. My therapist helped me see the good side of myself. Using affirmations has helped a lot too. Before I go into a group of people, I tell myself - I count and I matter. When I get negative thoughts in my head, if they are toxic to my health, I throw them out the window.

BW

I try to throw those toxic thoughts into deep pits in my  depression cave.

Oscar

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Ditto, Ditto, Ditto. I can pretty much relate as I have kind of the same problem.  I have a terrible problem over worrying and thinking things are worse than they are.  I had a tough time with this when I was working, now retired, but somehow kept getting promoted.  In my job I really learned to put a filter on things before I say them.  Turns out I was doing a good job, and I really never gave myself enough credit.  Again always selling myself short.

I know depression can be a major contributor and can take hit on a persons confidence.  Make you second guess.  I think you have gotten some good advice hear from the members.  I wish I could give you a secret potion to help.  There is one out there.  

I like what Beyondweary said.in both her posts.  Those even uplifted me.

Hope you feel better,

Jeff

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I'm familiar with the thoughts you mention and associate this pattern of thinking with my illness. Learning to challenge these automatic thoughts has helped restore trust in my judgment. For instance, my inner dialog leading up to the moment I press that Submit button on any post here:

Wait. Maybe this post is dumb and nobody will get it. That could happen or maybe people will like it - in any case, so what? This thread like nearly all of them will eventually fade into nothingness.

But what if my post is so stupid people troll me until their fingers are sore from typing? From my experience here, that's very unlikely but if it happens I'll survive it and I will be okay. 

It just isn't worth the risk. Always playing it safe is riskier because ultimately, I'll come to regret the things I never did more than the occasional unfortunate decision.

I haven't stopped second guessing myself, I can't control what thoughts appear in my head but I don't have to believe they're true. I am not my thoughts.

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Yes, I totally understand--I second and even third guess myself quite often, is difficult not to do it...I try to just tell myself that long as I try my best at the things that I do then that is all that matters..I just push myself hard to ignore the negative and focus on the positive..8-]]

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On 2/4/2019 at 8:41 PM, feellikeitwontend said:

Every single thing I do i second guess myself. Its to the point where I contribute nothing in meetings and conference calls because I'm afraid of saying something stupid. I'm constantly just thinking I'm headed for ruin, both financially and emotionally. I'm the sole earner with two kids and the constant pressure to not get fired is overwhelming. Not sure how to get out of this mindset. 

 

Tbh, I'm really not sure how to get out of this mindset, but you are not alone...I could have wrote this myself. It's  the reason I came to this website, actually.  I second guess myself all the time and have trouble speaking up in meetings and on calls also.  I think everyone sees me as worthless and I"m going to get fired. I think my boss is annoyed with me because I ask stupid questions that I already know the answers to, but I second guess myself and need to confirm....and then I think he sees me as worthless and is going to fire me.  It's review time and I'm feeling it extra hard now. I think I messed up my own review because of this. I just couldn't stop thinking about everything, and questioning everything I wrote (is that really an accomplishment? No, my boss will surely roll his eyes and think I'm an idiot). So even though I was working on it the past 2 weeks,  I submitted it at the last second and I don't even want to look at what I wrote.  I don't have any kids, but my job is my life, basically, so this constant fear of looking stupid or getting fired totally consumes me. It's so debilitating. 

What type of work do you do or how's your boss?

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On 2/9/2019 at 4:39 PM, Gretchen13 said:

 I don't have any kids, but my job is my life, basically, so this constant fear of looking stupid or getting fired totally consumes me. It's so debilitating. 

If you had kids or if there was something or someone who depended a lot on you, do you think it might balance the workplace worry that's consuming you?

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