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SailingSoul

I messed up my own health

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I met a guy, we moved too fast. Had sex..he was rough and (tmi) 

 

 

 

..... 

 

 

Since our encounter ... I've been bleeding whenever I urinate and there's chunks of tissue coming out. 

( I'm already headed to a Dr.) 

 

But I'm sure it's a prolapsed uterus or bladder... 

I still have lower back pain. Legs hurt a bit and so do my arms. 

 

 

I know this isn't a health forum...but this is the only place I can really vent. I feel like an idiot. Which is an understatement...I feel too stupid to function bc I opened myself up to uterine cancer as well as STDs. 

 

I'm definitely not having sex again ...

 

And the guy rarely texts me now.. 

 

This is all my fault. I'm just venting/having verbal vomit because I'm so scared.

 

Edited by SailingSoul

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3 hours ago, Ratvan said:

I'm so sorry you went through that, but you're not to blame at all. I understand the feeling of being fooled or played however far too well.  

I feel so stupid. I really thought he was like me but he turned out to be just like every other man.( Most not all sorry) 

He just wanted ass that's it. 

 

But I do have to be accountable. I saw some signs he wasn't shxt but I wanted to give him the benefit of a doubt..  with my dumb whxre ass. 

I'm at the Dr. Getting seen. 

I'll tell the results when I'm done being seen.

 

Edited by SailingSoul

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4 minutes ago, SailingSoul said:

I feel so stupid. I really thought he was like me but he turned out to be just like every other man.( Most not all sorry) 

He just wanted ass that's it. 

 

But I do have to be accountable. I saw some signs he wasn't shxt but I wanted to give him the benefit of a doubt..  with my dumb whxre ass. 

I'm at the Dr. Getting seen. 

I'll tell the results when I'm done being seen.

 

I hope that it is nothing serious, my thoughts are with you. 

All of this speaks far more of him then it does of you, i know it is hard but do not blame yourself to being open to love. 

Don't give up on finding that connection with someone, everyone deserves to find that

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12 minutes ago, Ratvan said:

I hope that it is nothing serious, my thoughts are with you. 

All of this speaks far more of him then it does of you, i know it is hard but do not blame yourself to being open to love. 

Don't give up on finding that connection with someone, everyone deserves to find that

Thank you for your kindness... because I really been hard on myself. I feel incredibly stupid. I feel like a whore... 

 

I just feel I'll never find that genuine connection and now I'm just gonna be more closed off then ever... 

Edited by SailingSoul

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Don't feel bad about what happened. It really does say more about him than it does you. 

Try not to be so hard on yourself. I know that's easier said than done but you will get through this. 

I hope your drs appointment goes well.

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1 hour ago, SailingSoul said:

I feel incredibly stupid. I feel like a whore...

You're not stupid and certainly not a whore. Sometimes we let our desires cloud our judgement a bit and do something risky but that's just a part of being human!

You will find that special connection someday. In the meantime please be careful with guys or some will end up hurting you. It may be old-fashioned but I think that if you like a guy it's best to wait before having sex, how he handles it will tell a lot more about him than his words, a good guy will wait until you are ready, a selfish guy will pressure you or leave. Of course that's only if you really like a guy, if it's just a casual thing then who cares, go have fun, lol.

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So sorry you are going through all this. If you went too fast, now you know to not do that in the future. Make sure the guy is safe for you first and good to you and caring about you. With what you have learned through this, I'm sure you will choose better in the future. Give yourself time to heal and grieve.

BW

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I am so very sorry this happened to you, SailingSoul ! ! !  

I agree with the others that you were the victim here.

Please do not feel guilty for what happened.  There is no way you could have consented to what happened with full knowledge and full freedom of will.  Loneliness and passion are very powerful obstacles to the full exercise of our free will.  They can overwhelm our power to think clearly and deliberate calmly and objectively about what we should do.  You are clearly a victim here of forces beyond your control.   Things like that have happened to all of us at some time or another.  You are not alone.  

You are a wonderful person.  I hope you will be able to leave all this in the past now.  You deserve a good and happy life ! ! !

- epictetus

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Hi Sailing,

I'm thankful your symptoms were not from more serious causes.  As said, there's no excuse for being rough, causing pain and injury.  My ex used to live from one bladder infection to the next--and I'm not the rough type--and medicine should have your up and running away next time.  I think we do learn, at our own pace, and feeling stupid is just one of the ways we learn.   It's one of those "whew!" moments, and again I'm relieved for you. 

better days, Bulgakov

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19 minutes ago, Bulgakov said:

As said, there's no excuse for being rough, causing pain and injury.

Well said! You need to assert yourself and tell a guy to stop if he's being too rough, some men have the misguided idea that sex should be like what they see in porn... Don't be afraid to tell them what you like and don't like, a good man will respect your wishes and anyone who doesn't isn't worth your time.

41 minutes ago, SailingSoul said:

I thought it would be a prolapsed bladder or uterus ....

I am glad to hear that it's nothing more serious. Please also take this as another reminder to stay away from Dr. Google, you keep self-diagnosing which inadvertently results in you freaking out worrying about the worst-case scenario. Resist the urge to Google when you notice a new problem or symptom and wait for a doctor to diagnose you properly. You're stressing yourself out unnecessarily, this is not healthy. 

Edited by lonelyforeigner

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2 hours ago, lonelyforeigner said:

Well said! You need to assert yourself and tell a guy to stop if he's being too rough, some men have the misguided idea that sex should be like what they see in porn... Don't be afraid to tell them what you like and don't like, a good man will respect your wishes and anyone who doesn't isn't worth your time.

I am glad to hear that it's nothing more serious. Please also take this as another reminder to stay away from Dr. Google, you keep self-diagnosing which inadvertently results in you freaking out worrying about the worst-case scenario. Resist the urge to Google when you notice a new problem or symptom and wait for a doctor to diagnose you properly. You're stressing yourself out unnecessarily, this is not healthy. 

Agreed. I did tell him though. But yeah this infection and cyst isn't cute at all and you're right. If they don't respect my wishes they aren't worthy of me.

Edited by SailingSoul

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2 hours ago, Bulgakov said:

Hi Sailing,

I'm thankful your symptoms were not from more serious causes.  As said, there's no excuse for being rough, causing pain and injury.  My ex used to live from one bladder infection to the next--and I'm not the rough type--and medicine should have your up and running away next time.  I think we do learn, at our own pace, and feeling stupid is just one of the ways we learn.   It's one of those "whew!" moments, and again I'm relieved for you. 

better days, Bulgakov

Right. You're right. Lesson is lesrned.

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