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Impulse/action harm OCD


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This is a strange obsession/compulsion for me to address.

I am not looking for reassurance in anyway, just methods I could use to resist the compulsion strategically. 

What happens to me is that I have a thought of me harming someone, and in response to that thought, I do a slight action. This action could be so slight as changing a song, or getting up to move, or even turning my head in a certain way.

When I do this impulsive movement, my mind tells me it is because I am "agreeing" or it is in direct response to the obsessive thought. It is almost like the thought directly preceded the action. I even have difficulty truly describing what is going on. 

After this happens, I have to sit to myself and tell myself, there is "no reality" to this type of thinking. 

This is taking up so much of my life. I am working hard to just roll past any compulsion, but it is causing me too much pain. 

I tell myself that since all these thoughts are "new" that they have to be OCD and that helps me subconsciously roll past the exposures and stay mindful. 

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I get you--I also have OCD (besides being bi-polar as well) and I also get these bad thoughts and I have trouble getting rid of them--I used to be a cutter,but, I stopped because it really quit bringing me relief..The point I am trying to make is that now when I have a bad thought I try like hell to just ignore it and focus on something else..I know how hard it is to turn "it" off---just takes lots of work not to have the bad thoughts..I do understand!! BTW, I welcome you to the website--8-]] 

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Welcome! It helps me to imagine my thoughts are like a river that I am next to. They flow by. Some I pick out and hold onto for a while. Others jump out at me. I believe they are just thoughts out of my control and I have the right to toss them back in the river and let them go. 

Also I practice not doing the action that is prompted by the thought. Most of the time the urge goes away especially the more I practice this.

Hope this helps some.

BW

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