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Hi Everyone,

My name is Jenn and this is my first time posting. I am a single mom with bipolar disorder going through a horrible break up. I'm not really sure how these sights work but a friend of mine told me to try it out and it might help me realize I am doing the right thing for myself and my daughter. All I can feel right now is hurt and confused. We were together almost 4 years, we were engaged and bought a house together and combined everything we both had to make 1 big family. I have 1 daughter and he has 3 sons that I love like my own. About a yr into the relationship I had a massive screw up and cheated on him. We worked through it but it wasn't easy. About 6 months ago I caught him texting and sending pictures to a girl I used to work with. We agreed we would go to couples therapy and try and work through it. He had told me he would quit drinking (which he is a functioning alcoholic). A few weeks ago I found out he had been messaging a few different girls again. Some of them were talking with him and others just ignored his attempts. At first I blames myself because with my bipolar I have horrible depression and I don't like to leave the house, so we don't ever go and do anything and I have not wanted to have sex either. So we had the house to ourselves for the weekend and I tried to make it perfect. At the end of the night he kept telling me how it was such and great day and how we really needed it but when I went to bed he messaged one of the girls for more pictures and made me realize that for once it wasn't my fault.

He recently got his own apartment but we have still have contact with each other because of the house and things we need to take care of still. Everyone keeps telling me I am doing the right thing but I am so hurt and lost that I am not really eating, can't sleep, and I just feel like I keep walking around in a fog. He will message me and tell me how much he loves me but he still is texting other girls and will not go get help for his drinking problem. Part of me is hoping he is going to change his ways and we will be ok but the other part of me knows that is never going to happen. I know they say time heals all wounds but right now I find that hard to believe.

So to whoever is reading this thank you for letting me vent and if you have any advice I would love to hear it.

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Welcome Jenn! Oh, so sorry about all that you are going through. How horrible and difficult! I can relate in that I was married to a functioning alcoholic for many years and it was so hard to deal with that. What helped me a lot was to attend Alanon meetings. The people there really understand and I learned many new tools to help with my situation and get me through that divorce that I finally realized was needed because the marriage had died and he wanted to keep drinking.

I so feel for you. Feel free to message me anytime if you want to talk more. Also keep coming back, reading, and posting. That will help too. You are not alone and we will be glad to support you through this hard time.

BW

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Welcome to the Depression Forums @jdangelo88! And Thank you to member @BeyondWeary :icon12:

I am so relieved you have found us.  IMHO,  and I am so sorry to say, I do not see how this relationship is going to survive w/o him going to alcoholics anonymous.

I so feel for you as well, plus I am so happy he is not doing drugs, but I do not see a happy ending to this.  It is AA or the highway darling.  He will not stop.

I need you to go and post in the Relationship Forum. Post about different things in your relationship, but keep it close your topic. There are soooo many members here  

that want to help you including me.  I wish you all the happiness in the world.

Hugs,

:hearts:

~Lindsay, Forum Admin, Founder

DepressionForums.org

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38 minutes ago, jdangelo88 said:

Hi Everyone,

My name is Jenn and this is my first time posting. I am a single mom with bipolar disorder going through a horrible break up. I'm not really sure how these sights work but a friend of mine told me to try it out and it might help me realize I am doing the right thing for myself and my daughter. All I can feel right now is hurt and confused. We were together almost 4 years, we were engaged and bought a house together and combined everything we both had to make 1 big family. I have 1 daughter and he has 3 sons that I love like my own. About a yr into the relationship I had a massive screw up and cheated on him. We worked through it but it wasn't easy. About 6 months ago I caught him texting and sending pictures to a girl I used to work with. We agreed we would go to couples therapy and try and work through it. He had told me he would quit drinking (which he is a functioning alcoholic). A few weeks ago I found out he had been messaging a few different girls again. Some of them were talking with him and others just ignored his attempts. At first I blames myself because with my bipolar I have horrible depression and I don't like to leave the house, so we don't ever go and do anything and I have not wanted to have sex either. So we had the house to ourselves for the weekend and I tried to make it perfect. At the end of the night he kept telling me how it was such and great day and how we really needed it but when I went to bed he messaged one of the girls for more pictures and made me realize that for once it wasn't my fault.

He recently got his own apartment but we have still have contact with each other because of the house and things we need to take care of still. Everyone keeps telling me I am doing the right thing but I am so hurt and lost that I am not really eating, can't sleep, and I just feel like I keep walking around in a fog. He will message me and tell me how much he loves me but he still is texting other girls and will not go get help for his drinking problem. Part of me is hoping he is going to change his ways and we will be ok but the other part of me knows that is never going to happen. I know they say time heals all wounds but right now I find that hard to believe.

So to whoever is reading this thank you for letting me vent and if you have any advice I would love to hear it.

Welcome, Jenn to the forum and I hate

to hear that you and your husband are 

having some problems right now.  Hang in

there my friend and try to concentrate on 

your child and yourself at the moment 

and hopefully with time you will be able 

to handle whatever lyes ahead for you

I pray nothing but blessings over you and 

your family.

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1 hour ago, jdangelo88 said:

Hi Everyone,

My name is Jenn and this is my first time posting. I am a single mom with bipolar disorder going through a horrible break up. I'm not really sure how these sights work but a friend of mine told me to try it out and it might help me realize I am doing the right thing for myself and my daughter. All I can feel right now is hurt and confused. We were together almost 4 years, we were engaged and bought a house together and combined everything we both had to make 1 big family. I have 1 daughter and he has 3 sons that I love like my own. About a yr into the relationship I had a massive screw up and cheated on him. We worked through it but it wasn't easy. About 6 months ago I caught him texting and sending pictures to a girl I used to work with. We agreed we would go to couples therapy and try and work through it. He had told me he would quit drinking (which he is a functioning alcoholic). A few weeks ago I found out he had been messaging a few different girls again. Some of them were talking with him and others just ignored his attempts. At first I blames myself because with my bipolar I have horrible depression and I don't like to leave the house, so we don't ever go and do anything and I have not wanted to have sex either. So we had the house to ourselves for the weekend and I tried to make it perfect. At the end of the night he kept telling me how it was such and great day and how we really needed it but when I went to bed he messaged one of the girls for more pictures and made me realize that for once it wasn't my fault.

He recently got his own apartment but we have still have contact with each other because of the house and things we need to take care of still. Everyone keeps telling me I am doing the right thing but I am so hurt and lost that I am not really eating, can't sleep, and I just feel like I keep walking around in a fog. He will message me and tell me how much he loves me but he still is texting other girls and will not go get help for his drinking problem. Part of me is hoping he is going to change his ways and we will be ok but the other part of me knows that is never going to happen. I know they say time heals all wounds but right now I find that hard to believe.

So to whoever is reading this thank you for letting me vent and if you have any advice I would love to hear it.

Hi Jenn, welcome to the forum. I'm sorry I don't have any advise but wanted to say that you are doing the right thing. Ive discovered that if a thing is easy to do it's more than likely wrong. This is a great place with fantastic people who are happy to help in anyway they can. 

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Hi Jdangleo88,

     I also want to welcome you to the Forums.  I wish I had some good advice to offer you, but sadly I lack the wisdom.  It is just awful what you are going through.  Just heartbreaking!  I hope you get many good responses to your post.  I'm rooting for you ! ! ! ! !  - epictetus

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"...A few weeks ago I found out he had been messaging a few different girls again. Some of them were talking with him and others just ignored his attempts. At first I blames myself because with my bipolar I have horrible depression and I don't like to leave the house, so we don't ever go and do anything and I have not wanted to have sex either. So we had the house to ourselves for the weekend and I tried to make it perfect. At the end of the night he kept telling me how it was such and great day and how we really needed it but when I went to bed he messaged one of the girls for more pictures and made me realize that for once it wasn't my fault..."

Hey Jenn, welcome to the forums!

Sorry to hear about your situation... I can relate to this situation. I've been with my Ex for 3 years on and off, and had problems with my mental health as well. We both did somethings that hurt each other, but we always ended up getting past it after a while. We aren't together to this day, and we are barely in contact with each other, but I still do feel the same way, and will always be there.

Only you or him can decide if you want to keep things going or end it. Communication is always key in a relationship. If you two love each other, nothing should get in the way ever. Relationships, and Marriage are really just a test of time of how much the two of you can endure until its solidified that nothing will ever tear you apart... That great day you mentioned as a quoted above, something about that day was something you both needed. Something that reminded both of you of that magical day that brought you two together. Don't ever forget that.

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