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KCDPN

Social Isolation

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I have a habit of becoming so overwhelmed with my depression that I feel like my peers would be better off without me, and I just avoid all contact with people. Days, weeks. Can anyone relate? Anyone have any advice on how to overcome this if it's bad? Any benefits to this?

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1 hour ago, KCDPN said:

I have a habit of becoming so overwhelmed with my depression that I feel like my peers would be better off without me, and I just avoid all contact with people. Days, weeks. Can anyone relate? Anyone have any advice on how to overcome this if it's bad? Any benefits to this?

I can relate but I think it's mainly down to people thinking that they might be judgmental. Right  now, life feels like a zoo to me where we have borders, restrictions, rules, etc...but the internet is a place where you can let your mind escape and you are open up free in a social environment. The Internet is what humans really are. It's really the real you. It's a social environment even if we don't like to make it appear to be. We like to think that this place provides anonymity but it doesn't. The powers that be have everything and know everything about you. 

 

Overcoming is hard but we fake it. It's this cloud of illusion that we like to create to give ourselves the illusion of safety. We have our own secret bubble that we go to when we need hiding from a storm that rages above us because it's dangerous to step outside, but life is in a pocket of bubble.That tiny layer can pop any given moment.

Edited by Why_Is_life

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I can definitely relate. Being around people can be exhausting and so is having to put on a happy face because people do not want to be bombarded by our negativity. In the short-term isolation can be helpful to regain our strength but it can also lead to us becoming increasingly disconnected from the real world so it's not without risks. 

Forcing yourself to smile has been shown to activate brain regions that get activated when you're happy so there's something to be said for the whole "fake it till you make it" idea. Isolation can be dangerous because we get trapped in our negative thoughts, we are less likely to do anything that positively affects our life, our social skills deteriorate to the point that we cannot connect with anyone and may even become agoraphobic and/or paranoid. 

Not sure how to overcome this. If I didn't have to earn money I'd probably never talk to anyone in the real world. 

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4 hours ago, KCDPN said:

I have a habit of becoming so overwhelmed with my depression that I feel like my peers would be better off without me, and I just avoid all contact with people. Days, weeks. Can anyone relate? Anyone have any advice on how to overcome this if it's bad? Any benefits to this?

Yeah this sounds like me on an almost daily basis.

When I feel like this, I usually put on my headphones and try and get on with my day as best I can. The headphones help in that people are less likely to approach me and chat generally and it keeps conversations away from the social chats that plague me at the minute (how are you? whats up etc), a downside is that I can come across as rude but at the end of the day these people's opinions don't pay my bills or look after my health which for me is the most important. 

I've given up with the Fake Happy Face, it's too much effort and does not benefit me

I find that Music really affects my mood, it all depends on what you listen to and your personal choice but if i feel really really low and anti social I put on either Wagner's The Ring, I get to a certain act and literally blub from the beauty (about 15 hours all the way through) or I put on my Ska Punk playlist and bop it out of my system

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Yes I can relate. When my anxiety and depression symptoms are raging, I feel like i need to make my world very small. Very predictable. When it takes all my energy and reserves just to maintain, I don't have much emotional bandwidth. I get overstimulated easily, misread or entirely miss ordinary social cues. I fail to give appropriate emotional responses. I'm hypervigilant, crowds are unbearable. 

I feel better off alone but sometimes I'm not. 

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1 hour ago, Atra said:

Yes I can relate. When my anxiety and depression symptoms are raging, I feel like i need to make my world very small. Very predictable. When it takes all my energy and reserves just to maintain, I don't have much emotional bandwidth. I get overstimulated easily, misread or entirely miss ordinary social cues. I fail to give appropriate emotional responses. I'm hypervigilant, crowds are unbearable. 

I feel better off alone but sometimes I'm not. 

I been there my friend and I have even felt pressure in the church around a lot of

people that I didn't associate with. Especially, when I am asked to speak in front

of the congregation without being warned of doing something on the program.

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6 minutes ago, lonelyforeigner said:

Yikes! That would be my nightmare. 

It happens all the time my friend, if I visit a church they expects for me to come

to the very front of the church and all eyes are on you.  They always expect for

me to say something to the congregation.  I went to one church and the Guest

Speaker had not shown up and the Pastor looked to me and said it's on you Dock.

He wanted me to carry the church services doing one of the most Holies Events of

the year without being prepared to be the Guest Speaker.

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"I have a habit of becoming so overwhelmed with my depression that I feel like my peers would be better off without me, and I just avoid all contact with people. Days, weeks. Can anyone relate? Anyone have any advice on how to overcome this if it's bad? Any benefits to this?"

I understand this mentality 250%.

I often feel like I get in the way when I visit my peers or friends or even family members. Sometimes Im able to help them anyway I can. And sometimes I find that helping them messes something up or causes something to go wrong.

In my life, personally, my peers are usually better off without me getting in the way. But it's just simply that for me. They just choose to be around me platonically when they are not busy.

 

Your situation may be different. Try speaking with them and seeing if they will honestly tell you how they feel about your thoughts. You might be surprised about the answer.

Edited by Keemkeem

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I would say just not to reject opportunities if they present themselves to meet with a person at a place you want to be otherwise forget about it and focus on improving yourself getting more money, pursuing more hobbies, learning new things, express your opinions with no fear of social rejection see your self as a free man to create your own destiny it is to become who you want to be and meeting people along the way while you achieve your goals then to become who you think people want you to be, I feel very little loneliness at this point in my life even though at this point in my life im  technically more alone than any other time. I actually like the freedom of being able to talk to people with no expectations of a relationship or friendship forming I can move from group to group learning about different people having different conversations but never being tied down to any expectations or commitments.

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On 1/15/2019 at 2:16 PM, KCDPN said:

Can anyone relate? Anyone have any advice on how to overcome this if it's bad? Any benefits to this?

Me, by choice. I've been lied to & betrayed too many times to trust another human again for the rest of my life.

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I can relate. Part of why I do it is because of depression and anxiety and other part is I've just been screwed over so many times (which also adds to the depression/anxiety)I just don't want there to be an opportunity for that to happen again. I'm going through it right now actually, to the point I even turned off all social media so I don't have to talk to anyone I know.  

Is it beneficial or hurting me to isolate myself like this? Probably a bit of both. And probably of both of I didnt do it. Just depends on how you choose to look at it.  I can rationalize it either way for myself. 

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