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Floor2017

Living without Sex

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Why is sex so important in our lives?

 

Why do we allow sex to over power us and to control us?

 

Can we actually learn to live without sex and take our medication and just become happy 😃 for having a peace of mind and a comforting Spirit?

 

All comments are welcome 

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First off there are people called asexuals who live without sex. But healthy people have sex for obvious reasons. Sick people who have such medical problem learn to live without it.

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Good question... I guess evolution intended it that way but I wish I could learn to live without it. I view it as a curse since I have an overactive sex drive but am too ugly to have casual sex. Relationship is out of the question too... It's seriously bothersome, not even any of the antidepressants I have been on in the past were able to reduce it. 

Still waiting for someone to invent a pill that can eliminate a the desire for sex without facing a million side effects. 

Edited by lonelyforeigner

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As we age our bodies begin to change and these depression and anxiety pills sometimes takes our desire away and leaves us wanting to have sex but our body has no desire at all.  You just feel like you have lost your best friend and you want your friend to return ASAP.

HELP (It seems like a bad dream)

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2 minutes ago, Floor2017 said:

As we age our bodies begin to change and these depression and anxiety pills sometimes takes our desire away and leaves us wanting to have sex but our body has no desire at all.

Have you tried Wellbutrin? It's supposed to not have a negative effect on your libido and some people even report an increase. 

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11 minutes ago, lonelyforeigner said:

Have you tried Wellbutrin? It's supposed to not have a negative effect on your libido and some people even report an increase. 

I did it actually caused me to have a bad dry cough and my Doctor took me off of it.  I just started on Lexapro last week 

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Emotional intimacy, physical intimacy, physical interaction (and validation)

For such a small three letter word, it sure does cover a lot of territory and mean very different things to different people. 

Sounds like the original question is on the  more physical side.  Also,  big difference between the male and female perspectives.

Can we learn to live without?  Sure.  People can adapt with to a lot.  Does that mean it is healthy?  Does that mean we are happy about it?

Just become happy?  Kinda asking the wrong audience here...  But I do not think of "happy" as a state of being like you described.

Even in a long term relationship, frequency of sex is a mediocre indicator of the relationship status.  (sure, easy to measure but it means so many different things to different people)

But yes, many meds have side effects that impact "libido".  But then depression itself ain't that sexy to start with. 

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Medication used to affect me that way so I'll never take it again.  I can absolutely go without sex but I will never be happy.  I want to have a family of my own and without sex that's impossible.  The simple truth is the medication is supposed to make us normal and normal people can have sex.  If we are taking pills that make sex impossible the pills aren't right for us.

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52 minutes ago, sober4life said:

Medication used to affect me that way so I'll never take it again.  I can absolutely go without sex but I will never be happy.  I want to have a family of my own and without sex that's impossible.  The simple truth is the medication is supposed to make us normal and normal people can have sex.  If we are taking pills that make sex impossible the pills aren't right for us.

I really need to be able to approach people and feel confident when I do and believe it or not as much as I love sex I believe being people friendly and being able to feel calm when talking with different people might be more important to me than Sex.

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4 minutes ago, Floor2017 said:

I really need to be able to approach people and feel confident when I do and believe it or not as much as I love sex I believe being people friendly and being able to feel calm when talking with different people might be more important to me than Sex.

I'm much more confident talking to people right now.  There is no pill that will help us be able to talk to people.  I started as someone completely unable to leave my house.  I just kept forcing myself into uncomfortable situations with people.  Practice at talking to people makes us more confident.  I made a fool of myself on a regular basis but never gave up.  I can talk to anyone now.  It was a nightmare for a while I'll be honest but it was worth it.

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2 minutes ago, sober4life said:

There is no pill that will help us be able to talk to people.

There is 😛 Adderall! It makes you super confident. At least initially, until your body becomes adjusted to it. The first month of taking it was the first time in my life I felt normal and not crippled by social anxiety and a lack of confidence. 

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I've heard both a man and a woman explicitly tell me they could not have an intimate relationship without sex in casual discussion. I think for a lot of people it is essential.
I am very back and forth on this, some periods of my life I've felt like I could live without it. It was too much of an emotional and mental effort (<-- pretty embarrassing thing to say).

The bottom-line for me is: If my anti-depressant was preventing me from having sex, I'm more than likely to quit the anti-depressant than sex. I think sexual drive can be one of the most powerful movers in the brain (while it lasts 😛) and that sorta shows even when physical desire is lost.

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1 minute ago, sober4life said:

I don't take Adderall.  I guess I get the same effect from drinking lots of coffee.  It basically makes me manic and way too confident.  I get myself into trouble.

Sex is still in my life it’s just not three times or two times a night.  It is now more like two times a month on medicine.  It’s a small price for me to pay to feel good about life and not to be so depressed with anxiety and depression all the time 

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25 minutes ago, Floor2017 said:

Sex is still in my life it’s just not three times or two times a night.  It is now more like two times a month on medicine.  It’s a small price for me to pay to feel good about life and not to be so depressed with anxiety and depression all the time 

I'm fine with whatever makes you happy.  I get it.😁

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Is it the medication? I read the bottle, it said potential side effects include... but "nocebo" effect.

Is it the illness(es)? They say depression reduces your... but I wanna I just can't.

Is it me? Have I always just "checked out" emotionally during sex as some partners have said... but I didn't love them. 

And around and around and around. 

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I'll start this off with, I am a 33 Year Old Male.

I have a weird relationship with sex, when I had a bad drugs habit I had no sexual libido at all. All my efforts were on the next fix and finding somewhere safe (so i wouldn't be found) to do it. When I got myself clean (about 6 months)how can I put this delicately? Have you ever seen the film Crank with Jason Statham? Yeah I was like that for about 3 months and then again nothing.

Now days, it's not really on my mind. Although I have noticed that when i share any emotions or feelings with a female friend and they respond that makes them more sexually attractive to me, maybe something to do with that emotional connection? I don't know. For me at this stage now, i'm chasing happiness and trying to make my situation better. Also the fact that the Fiance wants Children and I do not...

Sex has more or less disappeared from my priorities over the last 10 years 

 

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19 hours ago, lonelyforeigner said:

Spicy food can help a bit too. It's actually one of the reasons Kellogg came up with cornflakes, something super bland so boys would not masturbate, lol. 

Didn't work in my case. I had many dates with Rosie Palmer back in my youth.

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Well...I've technically gone 20 years without "real" sex. My ex and I stopped getting it on when my daughter was young. We began loathing each other about that time. My ex was throwing all kinds of abuse at me and I had no interest in experiencing pleasure with her.

I did have to perform "release" from time to time though. Otherwise I felt like I was going to explode. Didn't help that there was a fantastically attractive woman who had started working in our office.

Now? I'm not all that interested. Of course I'm 59 years old so that plays a part. I'm still attracted to women but I don't pursue the sex aspect with them. If it comes along, fine...otherwise, I'll keep on keeping on.

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21 minutes ago, Ratvan said:

I'll start this off with, I am a 33 Year Old Male.

I have a weird relationship with sex, when I had a bad drugs habit I had no sexual libido at all. All my efforts were on the next fix and finding somewhere safe (so i wouldn't be found) to do it. When I got myself clean (about 6 months)how can I put this delicately? Have you ever seen the film Crank with Jason Statham? Yeah I was like that for about 3 months and then again nothing.

Now days, it's not really on my mind. Although I have noticed that when i share any emotions or feelings with a female friend and they respond that makes them more sexually attractive to me, maybe something to do with that emotional connection? I don't know. For me at this stage now, i'm chasing happiness and trying to make my situation better. Also the fact that the Fiance wants Children and I do not...

Sex has more or less disappeared from my priorities over the last 10 years 

 

I understand my friend and I'm wrestling with that very same thing myself.  I sure have

had my share of fun with sex.  But as I approach 49 in two weeks I'm beginning to view

sex in a different way.  It's something that my mind say do it every chance you can but my

body say No, No, No.  It's not that important anymore.

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 For me being a female I don't have the physical issues that men get but my desire is not there, but it wasn't there before taking medication. I think it has to do with depression which took that away years ago.  If I was a male though and had to choose to either take meds and feel better, or feel bad and be able to have sex I would have to choose the first option, at least then you can be happy with the other things in life.

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It is difficult to explain this to men who have grown up with hormones but also who have grown up in empty adolescence. Even if they get married, they can't have sex when they want.

Sex is one of the actions that shows the man's power in nature and makes him enjoy it most. Therefore, the reason why most men think of sex is everything is that they know it properly. But they can't have sex properly and whenever they want.

Let's say you have a relationship with someone and you spend the most of the 24 hours together. How much of this 24-hour period can you spend on sex? What will be the remaining time? If you can't chat in a multilateral way and there is no emotional satisfaction, can sex solve it?

 

OR MAYBE I'M JUST A ****ING RETARDED VIRGIN.

Edited by desperateloser

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