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Hi all, I would like to share my issues in hopes to receive any advice and/or similar stories. I'm just going to pour it out so please stay with me!

I've been dealing with depression and anxiety for most of my life, but I've only started taking an anti-depressant regularly for a few years. I've also struggled with an allusive condition that makes it hard for me to focus, have forgetfulness that leads to me being inconsiderate, and be socially awkward, which may be result of the previous conditions, but is questionable as I'll explain later. 

I finally decided to take action to get help when I started noticing increased anxiety and chest pain over the course of several months. It began to start affecting my life in a much more noticeable degree. I realized I would get anxiety that would even cripple me around my children. My doctor prescribed me an anti-depressant which could also help with anxiety, but also prescribed me a medication for anxiety. Well the anxiety pill made me sleepy, so I stopped taking it and hung onto the hope the anti-depressant would work.

After 3 or so months on the new medication, the anxiety was gone. I had less and less depressive thoughts and eventually that was gone too. It seemed like a miracle. 
So I'd like to elaborate on that allusive issue that I mentioned earlier, still present, I'm not certain if it plays a role on my new problems or not but it has always been me and I just accepted it. Having got rid of depression and anxiety was such a big win, I was happy I had that.

Focusing Problem
As a child in grade school, I struggled with focusing. I acted out, a class clown of sorts. My mind wandered minute to minute. I'm not sure what they are called but through grades 6-8 I had a person literally sit in all my classes, today I'm not even certain why. I took different medications when I was child, none of which I remember (Prozac, maybe?), but that all stopped at age 13.
I've gotten better with it as I've aged, but the problem still causes me issues in my ever day life. Sometimes it is like I'm sleep walking while I'm awake. I do things that don't make sense. I do dumb stuff I have any reason for doing which can cause my family frustration. The ADHD jokes are plentiful. Sometimes it is really funny... other times it is not. Not only does it make me look like an idiot, it can be hurtful to me. My true friend to this problem is caffeine via coffee and occasionally energy drinks. I really owe a lot of what I get done to it.

Social Awkwardness
The social awkwardness was most prominent in my teens, now as an adult I've forced interaction through workplaces over the years and seem to be a go-getter where even some of my friends tend to avoid interaction, but it is always a conscious effort and I can easily revert back to awkwardness when I am overwhelmed or out of my comfort zone (seems normal I guess). 

The recent sleep apnea diagnosis (2018)
Sometime last year I began experiencing extreme fatigue. I'm not necessarily tired every time during these moments but weak and lethargic. Though I did start taking naps in attempt to improve it.
I scheduled a visit with my doctor, and he recommends a sleep study and that I may have sleep apnea. I was completely skeptical. He mention supplemental medications, I was more interested in that, but I agreed it makes sense to rule it out and after waiting a few weeks and increasing exercise and bettering diet with no success, I do the sleep study.
Turns out I have sleep apnea, as I stop breathing 19 times an hour or something like that. I'm now on a CPAP machine. The first uses of it I do feel a big difference in my sleep. The fatigue goes away. I've been using it for 6 or so months.

I'm falling apart and I'm only 30 years old! I'm thinking how and the heck do I have sleep apnea, I'm not an overweight middle-aged man etc etc stereotypes. Why is there so much wrong with me?!

New Problems
Fast forward to mid-2018, from here my focus starts gets worse in worse. At work I usually drink coffee to power down and get things done. It has always help me overcome difficult tasks that require focus. Suddenly it's not helping me. As of late 2018, I feel like I have brain fog, and now in January I can't get enough motivation to do things at work. To even START on an issue on project. I love my job, I have passion for my field, yet it's like I can't do anything! I visit my doctor again and let him know my issues. He prescribes me a medication to supplement my current anti-depressant which he believes will help me focus more and have more energy. I feel depressive thoughts begin to pop-up again, and while they don't hold much weight (that don't stick like they use to), I am a bit concerned. I also experienced extended anxiety yesterday for the first time in a long time.

So here I am, Day 4 of taking the medication, and I know its still way early but I do notice a change. I have noticed I have more focus but it comes too late, by that I mean in late afternoon and evening, so I am still having the problem and the lack of motivation during the day and it is really hurting my productivity. I will call my doctor soon if nothing else to increase my dosage.

Anyway, here I am. I know better than to bring a lot of this up with people that are close to me, because it just brings them down. If you've read this, thank you for hearing me out.
 

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Hi @ItsNeverEnough. Much of what you wrote sounds familiar to me. I was "hyperactive" in elementary school and spent many hours sitting on a chair out in the hallway by myself. I still have problems focusing and/or keep myself on task. I have an almost complete lack of motivation as well. I'm 59 now!

What is the new med you started?

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I'm sorry you're going through all that. Have they tested your thyroid? I get pretty forgetful and tired when mine is out of whack. Thyroid problems can cause also depression or make depression worse. 

Maybe try to figure out when meds kick in and wear off and set an alarm to take them in the middle of the night (if you're the type to be able to fall back asleep) 

 

 

We are trying to figure out if my son has ADHD or if his behavior at school is to hide anxiety.  If it were up to teachers it would be adhd but I know my kid and he's self conscious about how he reads and how school isn't as easy for him as it is his brother.  

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41 minutes ago, JD4010 said:

Hi @ItsNeverEnough. Much of what you wrote sounds familiar to me. I was "hyperactive" in elementary school and spent many hours sitting on a chair out in the hallway by myself. I still have problems focusing and/or keep myself on task. I have an almost complete lack of motivation as well. I'm 59 now!

What is the new med you started?

 

Bupropion (Wellbutrin) is the new med, Sertraline (Zoloft) is the anti-depressant I've been on. After being on the new medication I've noticed an increased food cravings and libido.

Hyperactive is the perfect term for me then. Helps to know some here faces similar/same problems, comforting and tad scary.

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Hi ItsNeverEnough,

     I'm so sorry you are suffering.  I wish I had some good advice for you but sadly I lack the wisdom.  Hopefully many people with good ideas will respond to your post!  A couple of years ago I experienced some of the things you mention and in my case, it turned out to be anemia.  Please do not think that I am trying to diagnose your situation.  Only a licensed physician is qualified to do that.  It is so sad that you are having to endure these problems.  I sure hope you are able to get to the bottom of what is causing them and get effective treatment.  My heart goes out to you!   - epictetus

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51 minutes ago, ICanDoThis said:

I'm sorry you're going through all that. Have they tested your thyroid? I get pretty forgetful and tired when mine is out of whack. Thyroid problems can cause also depression or make depression worse. 

Maybe try to figure out when meds kick in and wear off and set an alarm to take them in the middle of the night (if you're the type to be able to fall back asleep) 

We are trying to figure out if my son has ADHD or if his behavior at school is to hide anxiety.  If it were up to teachers it would be adhd but I know my kid and he's self conscious about how he reads and how school isn't as easy for him as it is his brother.  

Thank you. Yes, I have had my blood tested related to thyroid around the time I got the anti-depressant, and it came back normal. But that is interesting because my mother had Thyroid disease and I did have a slightly enlarged thyroid in 2012 that went unexplained (it went away on the next doctor's visit, and tests back then also came back normal).

I am definitely going to try the alarm thing tonight. If that worked it would be great!

Yea, it seems school wasn't for me either, at least in the beginning. When I actually became interested in the school work in my early teens and really tried, I still found it hard to focus. I ended up getting a G.E.D.

In college it was different for me, I guess because I had more freedom. It was tough but my perfectionist nature at that time wanted to do the best I could cause I needed to better my life.

Edited by ItsNeverEnough
Wording, blood test wasn't looking drugs lol

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@ItsNeverEnough I hope you get better soon. Do you really want me to write all my illnesses lol? I think I could write a small book. BTW you aint middle aged. I would **** to be 30.

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7 hours ago, Zagor said:

@ItsNeverEnough I hope you get better soon. Do you really want me to write all my illnesses lol? I think I could write a small book. BTW you aint middle aged. I would **** to be 30.

The isuses I explained here are more than enough for me. My hope was that maybe it was just one condition that resulted in everything else and maybe I'm just getting the symptoms treated. Didn't expect a diagnosis or anything. Putting them out there felt like just maybe some else could have similar problems and found something that worked for more than one illness. 

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You said if anyone has similar illnesses to write them down. I said I could write a book. Doctors and pharmacy make more money when you treat symptoms rather than the cause. But in psychiatry it is hard to know what causes what. Stress causes fear and fear causes stress.

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On 1/12/2019 at 5:14 AM, ItsNeverEnough said:

Hi all, I would like to share my issues in hopes to receive any advice and/or similar stories. I'm just going to pour it out so please stay with me!

I've been dealing with depression and anxiety for most of my life, but I've only started taking an anti-depressant regularly for a few years. I've also struggled with an allusive condition that makes it hard for me to focus, have forgetfulness that leads to me being inconsiderate, and be socially awkward, which may be result of the previous conditions, but is questionable as I'll explain later. 

I finally decided to take action to get help when I started noticing increased anxiety and chest pain over the course of several months. It began to start affecting my life in a much more noticeable degree. I realized I would get anxiety that would even cripple me around my children. My doctor prescribed me an anti-depressant which could also help with anxiety, but also prescribed me a medication for anxiety. Well the anxiety pill made me sleepy, so I stopped taking it and hung onto the hope the anti-depressant would work.

After 3 or so months on the new medication, the anxiety was gone. I had less and less depressive thoughts and eventually that was gone too. It seemed like a miracle. 
So I'd like to elaborate on that allusive issue that I mentioned earlier, still present, I'm not certain if it plays a role on my new problems or not but it has always been me and I just accepted it. Having got rid of depression and anxiety was such a big win, I was happy I had that.

Focusing Problem
As a child in grade school, I struggled with focusing. I acted out, a class clown of sorts. My mind wandered minute to minute. I'm not sure what they are called but through grades 6-8 I had a person literally sit in all my classes, today I'm not even certain why. I took different medications when I was child, none of which I remember (Prozac, maybe?), but that all stopped at age 13.
I've gotten better with it as I've aged, but the problem still causes me issues in my ever day life. Sometimes it is like I'm sleep walking while I'm awake. I do things that don't make sense. I do dumb stuff I have any reason for doing which can cause my family frustration. The ADHD jokes are plentiful. Sometimes it is really funny... other times it is not. Not only does it make me look like an idiot, it can be hurtful to me. My true friend to this problem is caffeine via coffee and occasionally energy drinks. I really owe a lot of what I get done to it.

Social Awkwardness
The social awkwardness was most prominent in my teens, now as an adult I've forced interaction through workplaces over the years and seem to be a go-getter where even some of my friends tend to avoid interaction, but it is always a conscious effort and I can easily revert back to awkwardness when I am overwhelmed or out of my comfort zone (seems normal I guess). 

The recent sleep apnea diagnosis (2018)
Sometime last year I began experiencing extreme fatigue. I'm not necessarily tired every time during these moments but weak and lethargic. Though I did start taking naps in attempt to improve it.
I scheduled a visit with my doctor, and he recommends a sleep study and that I may have sleep apnea. I was completely skeptical. He mention supplemental medications, I was more interested in that, but I agreed it makes sense to rule it out and after waiting a few weeks and increasing exercise and bettering diet with no success, I do the sleep study.
Turns out I have sleep apnea, as I stop breathing 19 times an hour or something like that. I'm now on a CPAP machine. The first uses of it I do feel a big difference in my sleep. The fatigue goes away. I've been using it for 6 or so months.

I'm falling apart and I'm only 30 years old! I'm thinking how and the heck do I have sleep apnea, I'm not an overweight middle-aged man etc etc stereotypes. Why is there so much wrong with me?!

New Problems
Fast forward to mid-2018, from here my focus starts gets worse in worse. At work I usually drink coffee to power down and get things done. It has always help me overcome difficult tasks that require focus. Suddenly it's not helping me. As of late 2018, I feel like I have brain fog, and now in January I can't get enough motivation to do things at work. To even START on an issue on project. I love my job, I have passion for my field, yet it's like I can't do anything! I visit my doctor again and let him know my issues. He prescribes me a medication to supplement my current anti-depressant which he believes will help me focus more and have more energy. I feel depressive thoughts begin to pop-up again, and while they don't hold much weight (that don't stick like they use to), I am a bit concerned. I also experienced extended anxiety yesterday for the first time in a long time.

So here I am, Day 4 of taking the medication, and I know its still way early but I do notice a change. I have noticed I have more focus but it comes too late, by that I mean in late afternoon and evening, so I am still having the problem and the lack of motivation during the day and it is really hurting my productivity. I will call my doctor soon if nothing else to increase my dosage.

Anyway, here I am. I know better than to bring a lot of this up with people that are close to me, because it just brings them down. If you've read this, thank you for hearing me out.
 

Hey, don't feel bad that you have sleep apnea. It's okay. I am 31, and I have it too. The thing with sleep apnea is that it's down to multiple things. Your nose(deviated septum), oral health(whether you have an under or overbite) or whether you have a longer pallet. I have reached to the end of the road when it comes to my treatment as I have done everything from APAP to CPAP to mandibular advancement splint to now a very expensive surgery known as lower jaw advancement surgery. 

 

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3 hours ago, Why_Is_life said:

I have reached to the end of the road when it comes to my treatment as I have done everything from APAP to CPAP to mandibular advancement splint to now a very expensive surgery known as lower jaw advancement surgery. 

Was the CPAP ineffective for you? 

I am still struggling with mine. Sometimes I take off and have no recollection of it, but usually it is from me waking up to tend to my 1 year old who has bad nights frequently. I'm zombified. and forget to put it back on.
Started with the full face mask but no matter what I could not get it comfortable and had too many leaks during the night. I switched to one that covers my nose and it works much better as far comfort and leaks, but I smell everything. I can smell any mild "unscented" soap I use to clean the machine seemingly no matter how much I rinse it - or maybe I'm smelling the hard water I use to clean it (of course distilled in the tank). Then there is the need to clean the thing everyday, I haven't worked it into habit yet, so it still feels like a chore.

If I all goes perfectly, then I can feel the difference. Without I have headaches and dry throat.

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2 hours ago, ItsNeverEnough said:

Was the CPAP ineffective for you? 

I am still struggling with mine. Sometimes I take off and have no recollection of it, but usually it is from me waking up to tend to my 1 year old who has bad nights frequently. I'm zombified. and forget to put it back on.
Started with the full face mask but no matter what I could not get it comfortable and had too many leaks during the night. I switched to one that covers my nose and it works much better as far comfort and leaks, but I smell everything. I can smell any mild "unscented" soap I use to clean the machine seemingly no matter how much I rinse it - or maybe I'm smelling the hard water I use to clean it (of course distilled in the tank). Then there is the need to clean the thing everyday, I haven't worked it into habit yet, so it still feels like a chore.

If I all goes perfectly, then I can feel the difference. Without I have headaches and dry throat.

I wake up in the middle of the night at 2am always regardless of what I do. I have go through a very expensive and lengthy oral facial surgery because of my weak chin which causes all sorts of sleeping issues.

Edited by Why_Is_life

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It sounds like you have another disorder such as ADHD in addition to the anxiety and depression. However, as you have sleep apnoea, it is possible that your ADHD symptoms were being caused by the untreated sleep apnoea. But you had those symptoms since you were a child and my understanding is that you don't usually develop sleep apnoea until adulthood.

Anyway, the treatment for sleep apnoea and ADHD is actually the same: stimulants such as amphetamine (Adderall). I find it odd that your doctor prescribed you bupropion instead, but I suppose it does have stimulant properties. ADHD and sleep apnoea are not approved uses for bupropion though. Usually, you'd be prescribed Adderall, Dexedrine or Vyvanse. Or even Provigil or Nuvigil if you want something with an improved safety profile and a much lower potential for addiction/dependence. You can take any of these stimulants in combination with certain SSRIs. I take Lexapro with Nuvigil. Lexapro and Zoloft both have the least drug interactions of all the SSRIs, so taking Zoloft with one of these stimulants I mentioned does some feasible. Can you ask your doctor about a proper stimulant medication to take instead of the bupropion?

I found that bupropion greatly exacerbated my anxiety without providing any noticeable pro-cognitive effects. Nuvigil is my favourite of all of the stimulants and provides those desired effects for me without the anxiety that bupropion caused. I have previously taken Dexedrine as well, and even that gave me less anxiety than bupropion.

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