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Hi I just discovered this site. Without getting into details I'm in a shitty marriage, have 2 kids, and to the outside world nothing is wrong. I have no support system here. I've never been one to really talk about myself or my problems especially to strangers so I'm hoping that I can actually stick with this. 

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Welcome, I hope that you can find the support here that you need to open up a little. We are friendly and totally non-judgemental. I am familiar with the situation of living behind a mask of ok-ness and feeling all alone. You are not alone.

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Welcome, first and foremost, now just take a deep breath. You have made the most important step, you have, as did I accept that I needed to talk, where I wouldnt be judged. 

I was in a terrible marriage, two kids and was confused with what to do. It led to dark thoughts, depression, anxiety etc. nobody here knows who you are, but we do understand the issues you can be finding overwhelming. You have options to talk freely here, or you can pick someone you are comfortable with and discuss in private. The important thing is to bravely open up and understand you have support here, and that you are definitely not alone.

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Welcome aboard to our forum family.

You will not be alone with your new depression forum friends.

We have all been through hell and you can unload your emotional  burdens here.

Please stick with us and yourself.

Oscar

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Thanks. It is definitely overwhelming but then again keeping everything in for so long has been overwhelming so its a feeling I'm used to at least.  I have no doubt it will get easier in time though. Hopefully. 

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I also want to welcome you to the Depression Forums, ICanDoThis,,

I am so very sorry that your situation is overwhelming.  Being stuck in an unhappy marriage is so draining and disheartening.  It is like being trapped.  My heart goes out to you! ! ! !   - epictetus

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I, too, welcome you! So glad you took the step to reach out. I also live with keeping things inside and pretending to be fine. I have found this a safe place of support and care. Sorry that you are in such a difficult marriage. I have been there too. Please keep coming back, reading, and posting. It will help. We will be here for you as best we can.

BW

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Hello + Welcome!!! I am sorry for what your going through, I think you came to the right place--Everyone here is very nice and willing to talk and listen and I know you will get some good advice from everyone!! Glad that you are here!!! 8-]]] 

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Hello. I spent years pretending I was okay, always for the sake/benefit of others or so I believed. I regularly rehearsed my fake face and masked signs that my defenses were crumbling. 

When I finally started talking about how badly I felt it was great relief to get it out of my head. I hope you'll stick around and yank the cork out, letting whatever you've been stuffing down inside you to surface. 

We're strangers but each of us has experienced mental health problems, we get it, so you can get real with us. If you want to share, don't worry about if anyone "wants to read this stuff" - we do, it's why we're here and to give each other some support, comfort, compassion.

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I’m sorry you are unhappy in your marriage. You are wise to post in this group. Thanks for sharing your feelings. 

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So I can do this, is there something in particular with your marriage you can pinpoint as the hardesr part? Lets try and break it up into manageable sections where you can move forward, rather than be overwhelmed with all aspects at once, reply here or pm if you are more comfortable

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Welcome to the forums! Sometimes its hard to come out and talk to people in real life, sometimes posting on forums is a very good outlet to say how you're feeling and especially to people that know what you are going through. I hope that you find some comforting words here as I have. 🙂 

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1 hour ago, Extremebeginner said:

So I can do this, is there something in particular with your marriage you can pinpoint as the hardesr part? Lets try and break it up into manageable sections where you can move forward, rather than be overwhelmed with all aspects at once, reply here or pm if you are more comfortable

The hardest part about my marriage is I'm married to a narcissist. I could list a ton of things wrong but almost everything has to do with his narcissist behavior in some way. 

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 My wife was a narcissist and no matter what I did it was never good enough. I'm sorry you are going through a similar situation. I finally left the marriage, divorced, because the situation was so toxic that I could not breath when she was around or even coming home. Anxiety was significant and I have to say I stuck it out for way too long. I still suffer from her mentally abusive treatment of me and try to deal with it as best I can. I was a normal confident happy person, and I am trying to learn that not everybody is like that or will treat me like that.

I fully understand how you are feeling at this point and am happy to share my thoughts and experience, good and bad to see how it relates.

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Hello!

I have been married 2 times and the last one was narcissistic. Narcissistic persons can prove to be overbearing and violent. They also have a way of making you feel responsible for their every failure. Please pray and ask God to give you the strength. See if he would be interested in family counseling.  

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Its good to know some people will understand if I complain or explain things. I tried with a couple of friends that know him and they just didn't see that side of him so they thought I was being dramatic. 

He won't go to counseling for anything.  I've been trying to find someone for me but I live about 20 min from a small town where I don't really trust those who work there to give unbiased advice and the bigger town is an hour. It is one of the many things I want to work on though. 

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My ex  wouldn’t go for counselling, she didnt belief she had a problem, it was all me. In the end I had to seek therapy to see if I could handle and accept who she was. There was no physical abuse, but the mental abuse was every waking moment. Everything was a trigger for me, just if i was lucky enough to get a good morning. Hopefully you are not physically abused.

see if you can find therapy to understand him and determine if you can live with this. Did you see a doctor for some anxiety medication, it can assist and is short term acting, non dependent. It will let you think calmly.

there are articles on line about living with a narcissist too. How lomg have you been married, do you have kids and do you have a couple of really good friends you can talk with? Just questions for now. Hugs

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On 1/10/2019 at 4:21 PM, ICanDoThis said:

Hi I just discovered this site. Without getting into details I'm in a shitty marriage, have 2 kids, and to the outside world nothing is wrong. I have no support system here. I've never been one to really talk about myself or my problems especially to strangers so I'm hoping that I can actually stick with this. 

Welcome, sorry to hear your struggles. I hope that you can find someone to talk to. I'm not always about but feel free to message me if you need to 

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Hello!

I am a survivor of domestic violence. I would call the hotline and just talk. They didn't send the police out to your place of residence like some would fear. It's totally up to the victim what it is that they would decide is the right course of action. They handle your conversations as confidential! Not saying you have this problem but it is a way out for free counseling and to meet others outside of your surrounding area.

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Living with a narcissist can be so draining and uncomfortable and that is putting it mildly.  I am so sorry you are in that situation.  My heart goes out to you, ICanDoThis ! ! !   - epictetus

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