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20YearsandCounting

How Do You Feel Right Now #10

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I just found out yesterday that I most likely will be out of a job at the end of this year. It's a small business that is being sold. I have enough problems with working at this job. It is so stressful to me with my depression and anxiety. This change doesn't look good at all. I couldn't stop crying yesterday and this morning. I don't feel I am up to dealing with this. I just want to run and hide somewhere. 

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52 minutes ago, BeyondWeary said:

I just found out yesterday that I most likely will be out of a job at the end of this year. It's a small business that is being sold. I have enough problems with working at this job. It is so stressful to me with my depression and anxiety. This change doesn't look good at all. I couldn't stop crying yesterday and this morning. I don't feel I am up to dealing with this. I just want to run and hide somewhere. 

I understand how you feel, so lets try and rationalise your thoughts. We will help you get through changing jobs, if you need to, despite the anxiety and depression. Change is always destabilising, so lets try to stay positive, you may find a new job with things you like better? 

You may find the new owner will keep you because your experience within the company is important. There are many what-if scenario's.

I am no professional in psychology but maybe if you think of this as an opportunity to change jobs, you may see some chances that could be yours. I know there are fewer opportunities for us with mental health issues, but they do exist. Not sure if you are a city dweller or country bumkin, but check with your local government offices for lists of opportunities, they do have jobs for mentally and physically disabled people.

Big hugs for you, I relate to your situation and hope with you that it turns out for the better.

 

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Just now, sober4life said:

I have to hide away from the world today and Sunday to be able to survive my birthday tomorrow.  Yeah it sounds like a lot of fun!

I was just about to wish you Happy Birthday..... Happy Birthday for tomorrow, hugs and energy...

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1 hour ago, samadhiSheol said:

Angry and I am afraid of myself. No I am not really. I just hate myself.

I think I could do something terrible with the least provocation. 

I certainly understand the self hatred. I think the only terrible thing I think I could do with the least provocation would be aimed exclusively at myself.

 

1 hour ago, Tilted said:

I rarely post anymore because I have nothing new to say, just more misery all the time. What a waste. 

Well, I'm happy to see a post from you. I think about you often, wondering how you are.

I post more often but I don't say anything of any value. I just use up bandwidth with my usual nonsense.

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11 minutes ago, sober4life said:

I have to hide away from the world today and Sunday to be able to survive my birthday tomorrow.  Yeah it sounds like a lot of fun!

OK. Let me wish you happy birthday now in case I can't get online tomorrow. I hope it goes well--and marks the start of a new era of peace and happiness for you!

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I bought a homeless man an umbrella today. He was just sat in the rain looking bereft, people dripping with gold waltzing past, ignoring his quiet pleas for a bit of cash so he could get himself a coffee.

When I gave him the brolly he gave me the biggest, toothless smile ever. I'll never forget it ☺️

Edited by Nightjar
If you're going through hell, keep going.

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1 minute ago, Nightjar said:

I bought a homeless man an umbrella today. He was just sat in the rain looking bereft, people waltzing past, ignoring his quiet pleas for a bit of cash.

When I gave him the brolly he gave me the biggest, toothless smile ever. I'll never forget it ☺️

There's nothing better in life than helping somebody out--especially somebody who is in a desperate condition as this guy probably was.

Bless you, my friend.

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50 minutes ago, JD4010 said:

OK. Let me wish you happy birthday now in case I can't get online tomorrow. I hope it goes well--and marks the start of a new era of peace and happiness for you!

Thank you that's very sweet!  Yes after they all point and laugh at me for being 40 tomorrow I will use that anger to turn into the spring manic madman and march forward to the life I want.

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1 hour ago, sober4life said:

Thank you that's very sweet!  Yes after they all point and laugh at me for being 40 tomorrow I will use that anger to turn into the spring manic madman and march forward to the life I want.

Happy birthday sober!!!  I probably won't be on tomorrow, but there is no one I want to be at peace more than you!

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7 minutes ago, salparadise6132 said:

Happy birthday sober!!!  I probably won't be on tomorrow, but there is no one I want to be at peace more than you!

Thank you you are a sweetheart!  I want you to be happy and at peace too!:hugs:

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2 hours ago, Extremebeginner said:

I was just about to wish you Happy Birthday..... Happy Birthday for tomorrow, hugs and energy...

Thank you I hope I have more energy than this tomorrow.  I've been a zombie all day.:hugs:

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I have been trying to get my consumption of Clonemazepam under control. Way to easy to pop a pill than deal with anxiety, so for three days i stopped taking it. Finally I have re-established some energy, but the anxiety is back. Its a vicious circle, sucks!.

i will limit to one per day and then only if I feel like I do now. Its bedtime so I will cope and I’ll dream lots of good things for you, so you can wake up and enjoy or at least get through your birthday? Hugs again🤗

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4 hours ago, sober4life said:

Thank you that's very sweet!  Yes after they all point and laugh at me for being 40 tomorrow I will use that anger to turn into the spring manic madman and march forward to the life I want.

Happy birthday hope it’s a good one :birthday2::hugs::Coopyahoo::roll2:

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10 hours ago, JD4010 said:

That crap is going around at work too. My boss has been out all week! My daughter has called out sick from her job the past three nights as well. It's a nasty bug. Hope you feel better quickly!

Thanks JD!  I hope your daughter recovers very soon as well!  Yeah this was a bad one...definitely the sickest I've been in awhile.  It started out earlier in the week as what I thought was just a "regular" cold, but reached a peak yesterday and I could barely get out of bed.  Today I finally began to feel that I just might make it after all 🙂  I tend to complain a lot when I feel ill, but this one was actually pretty rough on me.   

Oh by the way my friend, that's cool you got a break from your boss this week! 🙂   

Edited by AloneGuy

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Happy Birthday sober4life!!!!  :birthday2:  :birfdayCake:   I know it's easier said than done, but I really hope you have an awesome, happy and peaceful B-Day!  It's your day to enjoy, remember that  🙂   

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Pissed off and ready to jump, so me the one with severe depression and suicidal tendencies had to carry his wife in the house and now stay awake all night and watch over her so she don't die from severe alcohol poisoning all while wanting to ****ing commit suicide and ****ing die myself, well **** me

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Horrible. Just got off the phone and gonna start a new counselling with a Melissa starting on 4 Apr. I actually don’t like talking to people. I never look forward to counselling. I always feel self conscious and feel I’m a terrible person cos I’m always hating myself and hating my life, when I have everything so good but just cos of my anxiety everything becomes so horrible. I know its not OK to talk to myself negatively. I know that it's not right to talk to people negatively and we always try very hard not to ever do that. So how do I stop talking to myself negatively? How do I look forward to anything. One thing my other counsellor told me to be more positive is to do this “at least” sentences.

At least I’m going Japan next week for work, away from the family I feel so uncomfortable around. At least I have noodles to eat for lunch. At least I have money to buy t-shirts. Sigh. 

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On 3/7/2019 at 10:20 AM, RiverLight said:

Thanks and great point! No, not such a bad thing I want things to get done! 

Riverlight, Snow White visited us today.  She left a huge dump. 

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