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How Do You Feel Right Now #10


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3 hours ago, RiverLight said:

I feel bad. I blocked someone on another forum then Dropped her as a friend on FB in order to avoid any drama or conflict.  I worry that I’ve hurt her feelings. She hasn’t been back to that forum since. But I really didn’t need the drama and this friendship was mainly one-sided with me helping her all the time without much reciprocation. I needed to take care of myself. 

A friendship isn't one sided.  Those are like my old party "friends".  If I had money they were always around.  The second I ran out of money they were nowhere to be found.

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I'm very restless!  It's still February and I'm changing the oil in my lawnmower already.  I went from very depressed to now feeling like I can't hold myself back no matter how hard I try!  What a fun life!  It's almost Forrest Gump running across the country time I can feel it!

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3 minutes ago, SouthernSolitary said:

Better than yesterday but tomorrow is my birthday. I hope I can force myself to get out the house, make plans, and stay sober 

 

right now the plans are to silence my cell phone. Not that I expect too many calls or texts. Nobody called on Valentine’s Day. 

Happy Birthday in advance!

Yes, stay sober if at all possible! We don't need that poison.

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@Floor2017, @MarkintheDark, @sober4life thank you all for your kind replies, much appreciated! I know it was probably hurtful what I did, but I really just felt I needed to step away from her entirely and not be friends anymore. She was draining me!!! And that's not a healthy friendship in my mind. Thank you! HUGS! 

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Blech and blah. I have a nasty scab from an ant bite on my big toe, a nasty cold sore on my lip, the number on the scale went up instead of down (and I'm soooo close to a major goal), and I spent half the day thus far asleep. I only got out of bed to take out the dog and she didn't even have to go. I kept waiting, suffering the annoying people, before we headed back in. My stomach also has been feeling off; all I've had is two pieces of mango just now.

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2 hours ago, RiverLight said:

@Floor2017, @MarkintheDark, @sober4life thank you all for your kind replies, much appreciated! I know it was probably hurtful what I did, but I really just felt I needed to step away from her entirely and not be friends anymore. She was draining me!!! And that's not a healthy friendship in my mind. Thank you! HUGS! 

You did exactly the right thing, learning to be comfortable with decisions that are right for you is a big part of recovery. You need friends who lift you up or at least balance you. Dont feel guilty, feel proud.

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On 2/13/2019 at 4:03 PM, ladysmurf said:

I don't let Valentines day bring me down. When I was younger I'd get jealous sometimes when I saw my friends and their boyfriends and me single , but not anymore. It's just a made up holiday, in my honest opinion to make money, like most holidays are. If I love someone i love them every day, not just once a year. And i'd rather get a candy or a flower on a random day from my partner telling me "i love you " than on v-day but that's just me.

I think it also adds a lot of pressure and stress on relationships because people will go crazy posting on social media their "perfect" day, (at least that's what they want to show the rest of the world) when in reality the majority of them have fought for the majority of the day because someone forgot, or they didn't like the place they want out for dinner, etc..

It's a b.ulls.hit, Hallmark "holiday"...even when I was involved with someone, I didn't put any stock in it. 

It's a corporate-fueled, profit-driven pile of crap. 

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25 minutes ago, Extremebeginner said:

You did exactly the right thing, learning to be comfortable with decisions that are right for you is a big part of recovery. You need friends who lift you up or at least balance you. Dont feel guilty, feel proud.

Thank u! I do feel ok about it when I think about it more but when I think I’ve hurt her then I feel guilty. 

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On 2/14/2019 at 7:35 AM, Stand_alone said:

I get 3 e-mails at work suggesting to wear red today to show spirit and mainly a major client ia taking a tour. The whole day will be taken up by work. When i get home I will watch netflix. 

I wore all black on the 14th 😁

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On 2/14/2019 at 3:07 PM, MarkintheDark said:

I need to hear those words, Kogent.  I wish someone would say them IRL.  Thank you.

I have to admit those brief cries helped.  One thing holding me back, too, is that usually my tears have had to do with a traumatic loss or death...and they didn't stop.  They just left me exhausted and drained.  There was nothing cathartic about 'em.  I've been afraid of falling into that.  You make me realize the quality of these tears is different, something I hadn't considered.  Yeah, it comes from consciously numbing myself for months and months just to get through.

(If there was ever an example of DFers helping me, that's it)

Crying is such a rarity now, anytime it happens I get a little bit excited even if I'm miserable lol. But you're right, quality does matter. I miss the days I'd watch a sad movie and have a good cry. It sounds weird, but I miss those superficial cries...

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My fiance's father is now in the hospital with his third bout of pneumonia. If he doesn't make it, we will have to spend our honeymoon funds on flights to Florida l and we can't go to St Lucia. On top of all the stress we've both had lately, this is the last thing we needed. Please send prayers or positive vibes our way!!! I pray his dad will live. He's 83. 

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12 minutes ago, RiverLight said:

My fiance's father is now in the hospital with his third bout of pneumonia. If he doesn't make it, we will have to spend our honeymoon funds on flights to Florida l and we can't go to St Lucia. On top of all the stress we've both had lately, this is the last thing we needed. Please send prayers or positive vibes our way!!! I pray his dad will live. He's 83. 

I'm sending positive vibes your way.  I hope he recovers and gets well soon.  My dad actually got pneumonia this year too.  He passed out at work and had to be rushed to the hospital.  He drives a semi most of the day so that could have been a disaster but luckily he wasn't driving at the time.

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1 hour ago, sober4life said:

I'm sending positive vibes your way.  I hope he recovers and gets well soon.  My dad actually got pneumonia this year too.  He passed out at work and had to be rushed to the hospital.  He drives a semi most of the day so that could have been a disaster but luckily he wasn't driving at the time.

@sober4life thank you so much! I am glad your father was OK.

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2 hours ago, RiverLight said:

My fiance's father is now in the hospital with his third bout of pneumonia. If he doesn't make it, we will have to spend our honeymoon funds on flights to Florida l and we can't go to St Lucia. On top of all the stress we've both had lately, this is the last thing we needed. Please send prayers or positive vibes our way!!! I pray his dad will live. He's 83. 

Praying for you all!  I really hope he recovers! 

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On 1/5/2019 at 1:27 AM, Kogent5 said:

I met up with my friend today and was mortified that she got me a bunch of stuff as a Christmas gift. All I got her was a small crappy chocolate thing, like $10. I wasn't even going to get her anything because we never give Christmas gifts anymore anyways. I feel like a tool. I will have to get her something very nice for her birthday, but that's many months away.

You got your friend a gift and thought of her. That is more than most, and your friend - if she is a good friend which it sounds like she is - loves you for your companionship and personhood, not for what you give her materially. Sometimes I buy things for my mom and give them to her just because I see something I think she will really like, and I just give it to her. If it suits you, you can do this for your friend even if there's no special occasion. But you certainly don't have to do this for her sake. You gave your friend a gift, and I bet you anything she didn't once consider comparing whose gift cost more.  Peace my friend. 🕊✌️

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