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How Do You Feel Right Now #10


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6 minutes ago, JD4010 said:

Thanks brother! Same back at you.

 

Thanks my friend!  I want you to know that you've been an essential part of DF for many years.  You've helped out countless people and I was so happy to see you're still here, fighting the good fight, when I came back! 🙂  

Hope you have an awesome day JD! 

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10 hours ago, MarkintheDark said:

I guess you and I have had this discussion before, but I've had to be strict with myself on what I NEED to do and WHEN...vs. what I WANT to do.  For example, do I need to flatten the boxes today?  Nope.  Honestly, the only things I needed to do were the decongestant and my meds.  idk if breaking the tasks down into a short term time frame will help, but it's been useful to me. :console:

I know what you're saying but I couldn't control myself today at all.  I had to do everything.  My mind was overflowing with things so I had to do them all to avoid completely snapping.  I did well today much better than I could have ever imagined.  

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9 hours ago, Extremebeginner said:

Breakit down into little steps and do themone at a time. That way you have less pressure on yourself, and you will achieve some of your tasks for the day. Hows your dog, still entertaining you?

I did do this.  I was a machine accomplishing everything one by one.  Of course people will probably try to say she's crazy or she's manic.  The dog is a sweetheart.  I like taking care of pets because I love to be a parent to something.  I love taking care of something that needs to be loved.

Edited by sober4life
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I feel happy right now. I just want to document it before it goes away. I don't know why I feel so happy. Maybe it's the bread roll I just ate or my new lipstick I bought today or I just feel good after being really moody the last two days. I hope it lasts for while.

 

 

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27 minutes ago, evalynn said:

I feel happy right now. I just want to document it before it goes away. I don't know why I feel so happy. Maybe it's the bread roll I just ate or my new lipstick I bought today or I just feel good after being really moody the last two days. I hope it lasts for while.

 

 

We don't have a double happy on here, or I would have hit it, evalynn.  I hope it lasts too!!!

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It's going to be another stressful day today but nowhere near as bad as the previous 2.  Then tomorrow I'm going to get a dryer delivered and do some home repairs and I'm going to ask out the one I have a crush on.  I'm going to enjoy Saturday and Sunday.  I've earned a good weekend from this long week of horrors.

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2 hours ago, sober4life said:

It's going to be another stressful day today but nowhere near as bad as the previous 2.  Then tomorrow I'm going to get a dryer delivered and do some home repairs and I'm going to ask out the one I have a crush on.  I'm going to enjoy Saturday and Sunday.  I've earned a good weekend from this long week of horrors.

Sounds like you have a lot going on, managa it in small pieces so it doesnt get overwhelming. You have earned a good weekend, and i hope you get one. My definition of a good weekend right now would be to sleep without feeling guilty about sleeping. 

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Considering the past six days, I thought I was managing.  Not particularly well, but managing.  Then, for some reason, started to have an anxiety attack driving up to my T's office.  When I got there, discovered I had not, in fact, been scheduled for today.  I thought I'd noted the appointment correctly from their portal.

If any indication of my current frame of mind, I'm now home and, despite the weather being perfect, have decided I need to shut down.  WTH is wrong with me?

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3 hours ago, Extremebeginner said:

Sounds like you have a lot going on, managa it in small pieces so it doesnt get overwhelming. You have earned a good weekend, and i hope you get one. My definition of a good weekend right now would be to sleep without feeling guilty about sleeping. 

Thank you.  Yes I've had a lot going on that's for sure.  It was another crazy day.  In the last 3 days I've accomplished a month's worth of things.  I've said it before but now I think I finally have everything settled with mom's situation and I can finally rest.  I'm almost afraid to say it because I'm afraid what will come next.  This has been such a nightmare!  Go ahead and sleep.  You have been so nice to me here.  You deserve the rest and the peace without feeling bad about it.:hugs:

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I had a complete tantrum this morning because I woke too late to make my 9:00 appointment with my psychologist. I slammed and threw things and screamed. This kind of thing is most likely why I’m eternally 5 years old in my father’s eyes.

I don’t have anyone in my family to talk to. Anything I tell my father completely overwhelmes and agonizes him with worry, my mother trivializes all my feelings, my sister thinks I’m still hung up on a friend I haven’t spoken to since I was 11 years old almost 20 years ago, my one brother thinks all I need is to move to the city and get a job at Urban Outfitters or something, and I’m not close enough to my oldest brother.

And last night I had to scrap what little progress I made on a big project I have to complete by Monday because I can barely understand what my teacher excepts based on his description of the assignments. 

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In a brief nutshell, not that great mentally at the moment, fighting within myself in terms of self worth... my sane mind says I'm worth something, but the depression beast within keeps telling me otherwise.  I just feel worthless, broken, burdening, and disappointing.  Just taking a moment at a time to fight through the emotions, the desire to just break down, and to be as strong as I can be.  Day by day...

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I'm alright.  Took me a long time to fall asleep last night, so my brain feels partly cloudy this morning.  I'm waiting to see if my dad needs me to get out the snow blower and clear the driveway.  But right now it's time for breakfast.

Hope you all have a good day

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21 minutes ago, SadBeatmaker said:

In a brief nutshell, not that great mentally at the moment, fighting within myself in terms of self worth... my sane mind says I'm worth something, but the depression beast within keeps telling me otherwise.  I just feel worthless, broken, burdening, and disappointing.  Just taking a moment at a time to fight through the emotions, the desire to just break down, and to be as strong as I can be.  Day by day...

Welcome to DF! Sorry you are having such a hard time yet glad that you reached out and found us. Yes, depression can be difficult to live with and hard to fight back each day. You are not alone in this. Hope you will keep coming back, reading, and posting. We will work at supporting you as best we can.

BW

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4 hours ago, MarkintheDark said:

Considering the past six days, I thought I was managing.  Not particularly well, but managing.  Then, for some reason, started to have an anxiety attack driving up to my T's office.  When I got there, discovered I had not, in fact, been scheduled for today.  I thought I'd noted the appointment correctly from their portal.

If any indication of my current frame of mind, I'm now home and, despite the weather being perfect, have decided I need to shut down.  WTH is wrong with me?

You have just been through too much stress.  Your body doesn't want to deal with one more thing right now.  Showing up for an appointment on the wrong day isn't a big deal.  Don't be so hard on yourself.  I once walked 6 miles to work for a night shift on my first day working somewhere and I showed up the day before I was supposed to start and made a fool of myself in front of the boss as a first impression.  So I walked 12 miles for nothing.

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I'm facing the usual work anxiety today--but not as bad as usual because my boss is gone for most of the day. That dude intimidates me. I'd love to shovel some crap back at him for once but I'm not ready to be fired yet.

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7 hours ago, MarkintheDark said:

idk if breaking the tasks down into a short term time frame will help, but it's been useful to me.

I have some mid-term goals, but honestly, what you describe is the only way I get anything done at all.

Bulgakov

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And then there are guys like this guy, and Brian Wilson:

"You can stand me up at the gates of hell, but I won't  back  down."

Tom Petty, who I just found out died last year.  He was in fact known for stubbornly fighting for the little things in his industry, the little things that supported the humanization of recording practices. 

Adios Willbury

Bulgakov

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