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20YearsandCounting

How Do You Feel Right Now #10

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I've had two days straight where I've been irritable as can be. No idea why. The stupidest little things are p!ssing me off. I have no patience.

The last time I ran out of bupropion I felt the same way. But I've been taking it routinely since I got the prescription refilled over a month ago. Beats me.

Edited by JD4010

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33 minutes ago, JD4010 said:

I've had two days straight where I've been irritable as can be. No idea why. The stupidest little things are p!ssing me off. I have no patience.

The last time I ran out of bupropion I felt the same way. But I've been taking it routinely since I got the prescription refilled over a month ago. Beats me.

It's probably because you are eating better.  I'm doing the same thing and feel the same way.:glare:

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1 hour ago, Nightjar said:

So I finally begin to relax in the living room after a couple of rough days and what happens?

The neighbours wanna get all horticultural up in my grill. I wanna **** everyone. Can't wait for winter 😤

I would be the happiest person on earth if I never had to see people.

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2 hours ago, sober4life said:

I would be the happiest person on earth if I never had to see people.

OMG Sometimes it just feels like there's no escape! You're trying to relax and get away from everyone for a bit and a little face pops up over the fence 😂

Thanks for understanding sober. You wanna be my neighbour?  We could hide from each other for weeks, we'd love it!! 

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25 minutes ago, Nightjar said:

OMG Sometimes it just feels like there's no escape! You're trying to relax and get away from everyone for a bit and a little face pops up over the fence 😂

Thanks for understanding sober. You wanna be my neighbour?  We could hide from each other for weeks, we'd love it!! 

I think that's one of the best posts I've seen here. 

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@sober4life and @Nightjar can I get in on your neighbor deal? Mine are so bad that I drive in to the garage and shut the door before getting out of the car. I look out front before going out to work. I redid the gutters on my house and now they are blaming me for their water issues. Did nothing different that what was there before and everything was fine. In fact there were no water issues next door until they moved in and re-landscaped. The old neighbors lived there for 30 years without issue. Some people are so said.

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I've always been in some feud with neighbors.  That's how it is in rural Ohio.  There's nothing to do ever so neighbors always have something to complain about.  Around here you can be in a feud with another family for generations over nonsense.  I've been here for 3 years though and I couldn't tell you their names if my life depended on it.

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I feel good! We went on a boat cruise last night and had a blast. What a great way to end a very long and stressful week! 

And still being employed right now is making me happy. Another week, another paycheck! It's all good.

But no more thoughts on work. It's Sat! We're getting a new car today for my husband. And I am getting maintenance done on mine. Then a BBQ with friends... that should be relaxing. 

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As long as I'd been up most of the night, decided to head out before dawn for a photo op.  Best I can say is that at least it got me to take a shower (first time in, what, 3-4 days?), change my clothes, get myself out of the house and active before I started wallowing again in all the things I'd like to get done.

Edited by MarkintheDark

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This year has been the hardest year of my life.  I'm finally beginning to feel strong again.  I'm not going to **** myself this year or any year.  It's sad and scary how long it takes you to say I'm going to survive this.  It's time for me to get a good life in this world and make mom proud.

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Hello people, again I've not been here in a little while but I figure while were on the subject of how do I feel right now I would post. I would like to say that I feel just fantastic, did you pick up on the sarcasm, but seriously I feel better than many other days that were very horrible. Today I've just been in my thoughts realizing how much I have let fear control me and what I do and I am sick and tired of it. I have been self-medicating with Adderall for the past 15 years and I'm at a point where I hate them and I'm going to do whatever the doctor says to get off of them. They simply cloud my mind so much more than it already is and is not so good for my blood pressure either. It's hard enough to deal with the really bad days of severe depression than to deal with an addiction at the same time. So right now what I feel is hopeful but angry at everything I've missed because of the Adderall but also because of the depression. I simply need to have more faith and that is the bottom line... Be good to your selves...

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5 hours ago, sober4life said:

This year has been the hardest year of my life.  I'm finally beginning to feel strong again.  I'm not going to **** myself this year or any year.  It's sad and scary how long it takes you to say I'm going to survive this.  It's time for me to get a good life in this world and make mom proud.

This year has been one of my hardest too but we're getting through it. It sounds like you are making progress, it's great to hear it 🌠 I think I'm making some too.

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1 hour ago, Nightjar said:

This year has been one of my hardest too but we're getting through it. It sounds like you are making progress, it's great to hear it 🌠 I think I'm making some too.

I'm glad you're making progress.  I needed to deal with my toxic family and I'm being very strong with them all which is something I thought I would never do but I had to do it to get well.  In sobriety I had to make amends which I have but I was still struggling.  Some relationships can't be repaired and shouldn't be repaired.  That was my big problem.  I was keeping everyone in my life trying to have a better relationship with all of them but it just isn't possible with some people.

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On July 31, 2019 at 5:16 PM, sober4life said:

It's the hardest thing in the world because we have to eat.  Plus our mind is constantly trying to get us to cheat or do something easier than exercising.  It's very hard to stick to dieting and exercising when that voice is constantly in your head trying to derail things.  It's never come on you can do it keep going.  It's I hate exercising lets go get an ice cream cone or lets go to some buffet like Golden Coral or Cici's Pizza and eat everything there.

I get the feeling. Trust me, I believe every word you're saying. Sometimes I don't ever want to leave the house and I'm quite guilty for going out to cafés. Hell, on cheat days I get a donut there as well. It's rare, but sometimes, even when it's not cheat day, I slip up

At my old job, I went to Dunks every single day almost. Sometimes twice a day. I was at such a good weight and I gained 20+ pounds back from the stress drinking and eating. But hey, it's not impossible to lose that back, right?

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11 hours ago, sober4life said:

Some relationships can't be repaired and shouldn't be repaired 

This is what I have realised too. I mean if you are Jesus or Buddha, yep, you can have a relationship with anyone and it wouldn't faze you. It's not really possible to offend jesus, he's just too cool.  But I'm just a vulnerable human who cares about people and gets hurt deeply when they attack me. My stress levels and health are affected by the constant abuse my family has given me. Even though I'd like to be so enlightened I could welcome everyone with open arms I'm simply not. 

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devastated, the boy i like is either too broken for me to fix him or i am just not good enough to make him happy. He was the only hope I had. I let myself get carried away thinking that maybe i could be in a happy relationship for once.

what should i do, he needs me but i feel like we’re both hurting eachother.

Edited by Soarsie18

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7 hours ago, MaepleSyrup said:

I get the feeling. Trust me, I believe every word you're saying. Sometimes I don't ever want to leave the house and I'm quite guilty for going out to cafés. Hell, on cheat days I get a donut there as well. It's rare, but sometimes, even when it's not cheat day, I slip up

At my old job, I went to Dunks every single day almost. Sometimes twice a day. I was at such a good weight and I gained 20+ pounds back from the stress drinking and eating. But hey, it's not impossible to lose that back, right?

Of course you can lose the weight.  We all can.  We just have to find a way to be happy at the lower weight.  If the brain isn't happy our diets will fail.  Try to remove as much of that stress from your life as you can or use healthier ways to cope like exercise.  As we lose the weight the brain has to somehow feel as fulfilled in some way for things to work out.  We don't run the show our brain does.  Our brain has to be happy for us to be happy.

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8 hours ago, Soarsie18 said:

devastated, the boy i like is either too broken for me to fix him or i am just not good enough to make him happy. He was the only hope I had. I let myself get carried away thinking that maybe i could be in a happy relationship for once.

what should i do, he needs me but i feel like we’re both hurting eachother.

Oh wow. I wish I had good advice for this. 😞

I went through something similar a few years ago. I actually met this wonderful woman here on DF. We started corresponding and soon hit it off. I felt better than I had for a long time. It's not an overstatement to say that her presence kept me from suicide. Well...after three  years, things started failing. One day she called to tell me that we weren't good for each other...and that was that.

It broke me. I still fall into a deep well whenever I allow myself to think about her. I wonder what I could have done differently and then beat myself up over it for hours on end.

Do you guys fight or argue? I mean, all couples do that but is it a constant thing? You of course don't have to answer if you don't want.

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27 minutes ago, JD4010 said:

Oh wow. I wish I had good advice for this. 😞

I went through something similar a few years ago. I actually met this wonderful woman here on DF. We started corresponding and soon hit it off. I felt better than I had for a long time. It's not an overstatement to say that her presence kept me from suicide. Well...after three  years, things started failing. One day she called to tell me that we weren't good for each other...and that was that.

It broke me. I still fall into a deep well whenever I allow myself to think about her. I wonder what I could have done differently and then beat myself up over it for hours on end.

Do you guys fight or argue? I mean, all couples do that but is it a constant thing? You of course don't have to answer if you don't want.

Yeah we do argue, the only time we argue is when one of us is feeling down, which causes the other to feel guilty and insecure. We never argue over anything else and we always manage to calm eachother down and feel better again. It just worries me because whenever he has an anxiety attack i always blame myself, and i can’t see how we can stop the fights from happening. I love him so much, worse comes to worst we will be friends and i will always be there for him.

The whole thing takes such a big toll on me emotionally, I don’t know whats right anymore.

Edited by Soarsie18

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