Jump to content
Sign in to follow this  
20YearsandCounting

How Do You Feel Right Now #10

Recommended Posts

1 hour ago, Soarsie18 said:

i’m begging you god please, please let me die PLEASE PLEASE . I can’t take anymore, I’m begging you imm begging you

Poor Poor Meg! I feel just the same way silly. I wish I could hold you so tight and make you feel all safe and warm. You don’t deserve this pain, none of us do!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
28 minutes ago, JustAnotherSufferer said:

Poor Poor Meg! I feel just the same way silly. I wish I could hold you so tight and make you feel all safe and warm. You don’t deserve this pain, none of us do!

I know you're feeling the same way right now. Sometimes the idea of something becomes overwhelming. You need some time to think things through. 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
On 7/1/2019 at 12:33 PM, ladysmurf said:

its all in your head!!.

Someone in the family caught me on a bad day and said this. I admit  was very ticked off  and I return with "Well, duh! Of course its all in my head. It called a chemical imbalance which leads to depression, idiot!"

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Ok...four days of moving, figured it should take two, but my sleep schedule is SO out of whack...two oclock in the afternoon and im so tired i cant move - house or body...next thing I know its eight pm...back to work tomorrow, new tennants moving in on Sunday...maybe, just maybe if i get to sleep before 11 tonight i can finish it all after work???

 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Stressed... Liquidating everything because I need to move out now that I ran out of money and cannot afford this apartment anymore. Like last time this happened, I am realizing once again that getting rid of everything actually costs more money than it makes because people are cheap f***s and take advantage when you need to get rid of things quickly. Even the few things I managed to sell on eBay sold for a fraction of what they cost, ugh...

To make things even more fun: Disposing of trash is super expensive here and German leases require you to paint the entire apartment before moving out so I'll be losing all the money I make from my stuff anyway... yay

Edited by lonelyforeigner

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
3 hours ago, lonelyforeigner said:

Stressed... Liquidating everything because I need to move out now that I ran out of money and cannot afford this apartment anymore.

This makes me sad b/c I'll be facing the same situation by the end of the year.  I wish someone had an answer for both of us.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
16 hours ago, Soarsie18 said:

My heart is broken, There is a big pain in my chest and i'm trying to hold the tears back. If I start crying now I won't stop. I'm trapped in a prison with my parents and this stupid house and I can't get out. I can't bear it. How could anyone live like this. Such pain, everyday and no end in sight. I will end it soon for myself

I feel the same way about being trapped at home.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
16 hours ago, Soarsie18 said:

My heart is broken, There is a big pain in my chest and i'm trying to hold the tears back. If I start crying now I won't stop. I'm trapped in a prison with my parents and this stupid house and I can't get out. I can't bear it. How could anyone live like this. Such pain, everyday and no end in sight. I will end it soon for myself

I feel the same way about being trapped at home.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

My family has made my life a prison as well.  I'm trying to get them out of my life but it's not easy.  Either they go or I go though.  At some point I'm going to say enough is enough and vanish from this place and never tell anyone where I go.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
On 6/28/2019 at 11:51 AM, MarkintheDark said:

Tired...and it's only midday.

I had the Ryan White program renewal yesterday plus the pdoc this morning.   He added Buspar for the anxiety.  That one takes a while, I understand, to kick in.

I did indulge in a little dawn photography before today's appointment (just for the sake of my frame of mind)...and actually arrived at his office on time.  Though it kinda stretched my stamina, it's given me something pleasurable to do post-appointment as I edited and posted a couple of the pix.

And now, ain't gonna fight the fatigue, particularly as the worst of the heat/humidity settles in for the afternoon.

 

 

I found the Buspar kicked in after about a week, so hang in there. It does seem to work gor me and with few sude effects unlike the more modern meds.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
5 hours ago, MarkintheDark said:

This makes me sad b/c I'll be facing the same situation by the end of the year.  I wish someone had an answer for both of us.

Yeah... Today I got a nasty letter from the German IRS too, I'm 3 weeks late paying my taxes and they're already threatening to seize my bank accounts (let them try, they're all overdrawn). The German IRS is worse than the mafia when it comes to collecting their money, when I was late on taxes in the US the IRS gave me plenty of time but here you cannot negotiate with them. Now I'm super worried that they'll go after my landlord to seize my security deposit which I urgently need back when I move out next month otherwise I cannot pay for an AirBnB next month and then I'm completely f'd. FML! 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Doing better midday - no anxiety at the moment - having grabbed a couple hours and in the Big Nest with my arm curled around Spot (who'd taken possession of it).

I've already knocked off a call to change Mom's pension to her primary bank and even made an appointment for a haircut.  Out for groceries and I'm done.  Giving a friend a ride to the airport early tomorrow...a good excuse for some dawn photography.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Awful. Just dropped Etta off at the vet, and not her usual one since they weren't picking up. She's been acting increasingly more anxious the last couple days, whining and wanting to mark. Then yesterday she stopped eating and today she threw up bile twice. I'm so worried. I'm trying not to cry. She hates the vet, she usually shakes so she's probably terrified right now. They're going to do a whole bloodwork and urine test and everything, hopefully she'll be ok. 😞 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I was doing fairly well for an entire week. No, really! But it all came tumbling down on top of me earlier today. I didn't sleep last night (A/C in the apartment conked out and it's hot AF in there). Then I had an "incident" at work take me right over the edge. Now I'm back to my baseline mode of wondering why I keep subjecting myself to this life.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
1 hour ago, evalynn said:

Awful. Just dropped Etta off at the vet, and not her usual one since they weren't picking up. She's been acting increasingly more anxious the last couple days, whining and wanting to mark. Then yesterday she stopped eating and today she threw up bile twice. I'm so worried. I'm trying not to cry. She hates the vet, she usually shakes so she's probably terrified right now. They're going to do a whole bloodwork and urine test and everything, hopefully she'll be ok. 😞 

I'm so very sorry.  I really hope she's okay.  

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
3 hours ago, evalynn said:

Awful. Just dropped Etta off at the vet, and not her usual one since they weren't picking up. She's been acting increasingly more anxious the last couple days, whining and wanting to mark. Then yesterday she stopped eating and today she threw up bile twice. I'm so worried. I'm trying not to cry. She hates the vet, she usually shakes so she's probably terrified right now. They're going to do a whole bloodwork and urine test and everything, hopefully she'll be ok. 😞 

Have the vet check her tongue...I had a cat that had string caught around her tongue, she stopped eating, drinking, was throwing up!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I feel really self concious. I dont feel like walking in public. im angry at how ugly I am. Its not only because Ive gained weight. even when I was at a "normal weight"  it was the same thing. My classmate would comment on it even some of the teacher. The bullying started in fourth grade. I didnt think myself as a weird ugly child until then.Even when I changed school it was the same. Even after HS its the same.

Now Its worse in my adult year. I feel odd and out of place. Losing the extra 60pound ive gained might make me feel better but it wont change much in the social aspect. But i really need to lose that weight. But im sad that I will never be "acceptable" looking. 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Guest
This topic is now closed to further replies.
Sign in to follow this  

Announcements

×
×
  • Create New...