Jump to content
Sign in to follow this  
20YearsandCounting

How Do You Feel Right Now #10

Recommended Posts

10 hours ago, salparadise6132 said:

Thanks, wanttotry, for the kind words.  

The best thing I could hear about, though, is not kind words about me, it's you living your life until the day you die knowing that it is all alright - the downs, the tragedies, the loves, the triumphs. Living in peace and acceptance.  That is what I wish for YOU.

I am 54, and have acquired some hard earned wisdom through a lot of hard work, some awful life experiences, and a bit of luck. But I often fail at using this wisdom on myself, still today.  I'm getting better at it, but, as I said, it is hard work, and it is in fact a lifetime of work to be at peace with oneself!  I hope you, and I, and all our friends on DF can get there!

Step one, I believe for everyone, is to except that shit happens and that that is OK, for only through the shit can we grow!  We cannot control everything, or even, in fact, very much in our lives. Letting go of a need for control (ie. the story we are scripting, ie. expectations) is the kindest, most anxiety and depression lessening thing we can do for ourselves.

Hugs, my friend!

i agree sh*t happens, but some type or relief is necessary in order to move on. you cant go on in this world feeling depressed, anxious, sick all the time for decades, after a while it gets to you...you see others who find relief from certain treatments and are happy that they are no longer suffering, but also angry with your life because you continue to suffer and science is pretty much useless in terms of helping you find some type of relief. i get it life isn't fair, no one said it was, but it still hurts to live this way day after day , decades after decades. it's not the best feeling in the world

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Away this week, been irritable and unpleasant for the most part, to be honest I've acted like a selfish a****le all day but better now and apologised. 

Went for my assessment last week. Although the nurse wasn't unpleasant, ultimately she did more of the talking, and I didn't really feel listened to. They took me seriously, but ultimately I was just told to take my meds. The possibility of bipolar or adhd came up but they were reluctant to diagnose me. I have a appointment in the city this year, been waiting currently 6 months, they said I should get a diagnosis then. 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
2 hours ago, ladysmurf said:

well they have a point that is life...life happens....others get more problems, others get less...but unless they have gone through an illness like this they most likely won't understand if you try to explain to them your problems..

People could understand but overall the world has no empathy whatsoever.  They care if it's about them and that's it.  When you try to discuss your problems with anyone in this world more than likely the first thing you will hear from them is a sigh and then they think here we go again if you know them.  If not they are most likely not even paying attention to what you're saying.  I hate this life and the world overall more every day.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
10 minutes ago, sober4life said:

People could understand but overall the world has no empathy whatsoever.  They care if it's about them and that's it.  When you try to discuss your problems with anyone in this world more than likely the first thing you will hear from them is a sigh and then they think here we go again if you know them.  If not they are most likely not even paying attention to what you're saying.  I hate this life and the world overall more every day.

Most people don't understand what its like to deal with mental illness unless they lived it. Try to explain it to someone who has no experience with it, they might laugh at you for being weak, call you lazy,  (it has happened to me in the past and it still does) or I get the "I don't believe in psychology" theory either, and it's just doctors and pharmaceutical companies trying to get rich, its all in your head!!.  That's why i usually stick to this website and members here who understand, and in real life the support group I used to go to people i met from there.

The rest of the people when i tried to explain to them I got laughed at, so I stopped explaining myself to people. i lost friends because they thought i was messed up /crazy  for seeing doctors or taking medications. What does that tell you? the majority of people run away from you when you talk about mental illness because they think you are dangerous or something. More people need to get out there and talk about this illness, we are very behind in my honest opinion. I've said it before and I will say it again, (nothing against cancer dying patients) but I've heard people say "Oh poor them" and I do feel bad for them, but here i am for decades fighting for my life day after day inside my mind, and the majority of people laugh at me, and don't even consider it real. how do you think that makes me feel?

I agree that it's very rare you will find an individual (friend/spouse) who will stick by you and truly care for you because most people care about themselves, and look out of their own good. If you do be grateful, those type of people are rare and very hard to find..Life is beautiful and it has amazing things to offer, but our illness and the way humans act make us hate it..

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
13 hours ago, salparadise6132 said:

Thanks, wanttotry, for the kind words.  

The best thing I could hear about, though, is not kind words about me, it's you living your life until the day you die knowing that it is all alright - the downs, the tragedies, the loves, the triumphs. Living in peace and acceptance.  That is what I wish for YOU.

I am 54, and have acquired some hard earned wisdom through a lot of hard work, some awful life experiences, and a bit of luck. But I often fail at using this wisdom on myself, still today.  I'm getting better at it, but, as I said, it is hard work, and it is in fact a lifetime of work to be at peace with oneself!  I hope you, and I, and all our friends on DF can get there!

Step one, I believe for everyone, is to except that shit happens and that that is OK, for only through the shit can we grow!  We cannot control everything, or even, in fact, very much in our lives. Letting go of a need for control (ie. the story we are scripting, ie. expectations) is the kindest, most anxiety and depression lessening thing we can do for ourselves.

Hugs, my friend!

I have been humbled, no doubt. So you are right. I'm only 32, but have made enough mistakes to last the rest of my life. But with the help of my family and God himself, I am growing grateful that I'm allowed to see ALL my past mistakes and learn from them if I cannot make it right. Meds have really stabilized me, but working again is what has lifted my spirits. The key is to try again. And for the longest time that was so hard. I kept telling myself "I can't get back up this time." My goal now is to not fall again and take care of myself to the best of my ability and stay educated about my illness and meds. My fam and bf, and now a caretaker is going to keep me on track. So I'm grateful for everything right now ☺️.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Left this morning on my Triumph and headed for Virginia. Finally stopped at a motel to rest. Gonna be back Wednesday probably since I have to work next weekend. As far as states go I started in Kentucky and was in and out of Tennessee, Virginia and North Carolina. Not really going anywhere specifically, just away.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Overall I guess I'm feeling alright right now.  But earlier today I was feeling anxious and edgy.   Most likely because I've been struggling with some pretty bad insomnia for the past week or so, and a lack of good sleep always makes me more anxious during the day.  It's like my brain is really pissed off at my body for not sleeping properly, haha.  I can't help but joke about it because if it weren't for humor I'd have given up a long time ago.  

 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Compared to earlier, tranquil.  Got to go home from work for a while.  Played some games, watched a few videos and meditated before heading back out.  

A few more hours would have been nice but going home for a bit of relaxation after these last few days way what I needed.  Perfect call in and arrival times too.

Just finish my observations and go home.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
11 hours ago, roadking02 said:

Left this morning on my Triumph and headed for Virginia. Finally stopped at a motel to rest. Gonna be back Wednesday probably since I have to work next weekend. As far as states go I started in Kentucky and was in and out of Tennessee, Virginia and North Carolina. Not really going anywhere specifically, just away.

That's awesome.  I drove through those states many years ago.  BTW what year is your Triumph?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Despite doing all the "right" things this morning - shower, shave, meds, early li'l dawn excursion out for some photos - I can't shake the anxiety attack that's worsened all morning.

Kinda confounds me, too, considering all my accomplishments yesterday that included new pillows to make me comfy in bed, groceries, laundry, etc. 

Edited by MarkintheDark

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
39 minutes ago, MarkintheDark said:

Despite doing all the "right" things this morning - shower, shave, meds, early li'l dawn excursion out for some photos - I can't shake the anxiety attack that's worsened all morning.

Kinda confounds me, too, considering all my accomplishments yesterday that included new pillows to make me comfy in bed, groceries, laundry, etc. 

Maybe you're like me.  I accomplish a lot some days too but I push myself too hard.  Our panic attacks is our mind telling us it's had enough and needs rest.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
1 hour ago, sober4life said:

Maybe you're like me.  I accomplish a lot some days too but I push myself too hard.  Our panic attacks is our mind telling us it's had enough and needs rest.

I've always had the impression that the flavors of our attacks were a little different, sober, but maybe I was wrong.

I've consciously tried to stay - excuse the term - mindful of my activity levels and my tendency to sometimes overdo, particularly with the worst of my depressive symptoms subsiding the past few months.  I thought that having Mom finally under supervised care and her dramas out of my hair was the end of that.

Lately, I've seen those days of heightened activity as a way to burn off or distract me from the anxiety.  I'm about to pick up the new Buspar script, so we'll see how that goes in the next few weeks.  Unfortunately, it takes a while to take effect.  You've given me some food for thought.

Edited by MarkintheDark

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
1 hour ago, MarkintheDark said:

I've always had the impression that the flavors of our attacks were a little different, sober, but maybe I was wrong.

I've consciously tried to stay - excuse the term - mindful of my activity levels and my tendency to sometimes overdo, particularly with the worst of my depressive symptoms subsiding the past few months.  I thought that having Mom finally under supervised care and her dramas out of my hair was the end of that.

Lately, I've seen those days of heightened activity as a way to burn off or distract me from the anxiety.  I'm about to pick up the new Buspar script, so we'll see how that goes in the next few weeks.  Unfortunately, it takes a while to take effect.  You've given me some food for thought.

My heightened activity is a way to burn off or distract myself from anxiety as well.  I've done it my whole life stayed active all the time until I crashed.  Eventually the body runs out of energy.  The older we get and the worse our health problems get the sooner it happens.  My attacks happen after putting on the act for the world for too long.  Pretending to be like everyone else and pretending to be ok is what brings on my attacks every time.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Okay actually.  Got some sleep after work.  Meditated and made my lunch.  It is nice to have things go okay.  Back to work late this afternoon.

I would have liked to get a full work week this week.  But it is the 4th on Thursday.

See the cardiologist on Friday for a minor condition.  Not too worried as I take pretty good care of myself.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

My heart is broken, There is a big pain in my chest and i'm trying to hold the tears back. If I start crying now I won't stop. I'm trapped in a prison with my parents and this stupid house and I can't get out. I can't bear it. How could anyone live like this. Such pain, everyday and no end in sight. I will end it soon for myself

Edited by Soarsie18

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I've calmed down from earlier, but it sure seemed like it wouldn't end.  I think it helped, for one, that I picked up the new script, even if I won't feel anything but a placebo effect for the first couple of weeks. 

Tried bed, but that didn't work.  I kept editing some pix - which is my go-to for cooling myself off - but otherwise avoided doing anything "productive."

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Guest
This topic is now closed to further replies.
Sign in to follow this  

Announcements

×
×
  • Create New...