Jump to content
20YearsandCounting

How Do You Feel Right Now #10

Recommended Posts

I slept 4 hours total last night. I was mentally exhausted, now I’m physically exhausted as well. On my way to group and I’m not ready. I’m trying to push through and not give up, but my energy has been depleted since I woke up. How can I get through this IOP? Uuuugh

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Today went well even though I was a bit nervous and frustrated that I had to put all of the cats stuff away.  She wasn't happy! And if she's not happy, I'm not happy lol. 

Anyway, it's full steam ahead for operation ESCAPE FROM ALCATRAZ. I am officially reaching ESCAPE VELOCITY 😆

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Posted (edited)

I'm not escaping this place.  Nobody will run me out of my home but July 4th will be my independence day.  I begin my real life that day where I live free of the toxic people in my life.  They will be cut out for good that day.

Edited by sober4life

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
19 hours ago, Depressedgurl007 said:

I think if you explain to her fully, she should be able to understand. It’s normal to feel guilty, but your emotional and mental health is important too so don’t feel guilty for trying to take care of yourself. Hope all goes well! 

My daughter thinks I'm "making up" my depression, courtesy of my ex. "Yeah dad, whatever..."  I can still be "funny" (i.e. cynical) when I'm depressed so that makes it even more difficult for her to recognize when I ain't feeling good.

I guess I hide it well.

My ex has this thing where she can't recognize the feelings and mindset of others. She lacks empathy. Some of that may have worn off on our daughter over the years--though she has taken after me in some respects as well. I try not to burden her with my depression if at all possible.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
17 hours ago, MarkintheDark said:

 I'm still surprised I'm going outdoors this late in the season with dew point at 75F/24C. 

Gah. That make me sweat just from reading about it. I hate humidity. Today is only  in the mid 70s F outside, but the dewpoint is creeping up and making me feel more miserable. We get the really high dewpoints like you've got for a few weeks out of the year and it wipes me out. I belong in a polar region somewhere.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
41 minutes ago, Devlinkyla said:

I feel a lot better today 🙂 

Yay!

54 minutes ago, sober4life said:

I'm not escaping this place.  Nobody will run me out of my home but July 4th will be my independence day.  I begin my real life that day where I live free of the toxic people in my life.  They will be cut out for good that day.

Sounds like an excellent route to take. F the toxic people. Adios to them!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

The day started out good. Niece (actually my nephew's wife, but love her like a sister) b-day so spend the day with her. We were going to have lunch at our favorite place. Lunch turned into dinner so her daughter could join us, then it became me, her, her daughter and her daughter's in=laws (I can't stand her mother-in-law, such an annoying  know-it-all), then niece's parents joined us. too many people and I shut down. Said maybe three words in the 2 hours  at dinner. 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Day ended on an up note.  Stifling heat just kept me bunkered in the a/c until I got a heads up from another photog about an unexpected sunset photo opp.  Actually beat the traffic, got the shot...and even ran into a buddy - yep, another photog - I haven't seen in a couple years.  Kinda made up for the rest of the day.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

didn't sleep last night and I figured I would be a wreck today wasn't as teary as I thought I would be. But wasn't tracking well, got dizzy off and on, and overall felt disassociated with the world. The shoulder that I dislocated in Feb is hurting really bad guess I didn't do enough to keep the strength up in it once I finished physio so now I have to work forward again.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
1 minute ago, Soarsie18 said:

When I'm distracted i'm good. As soon as i'm alone in bed I cry and pray to god that I don't have to live anymore. I don't feel alive anymore. I feel like i'm just waiting for time to go by.

I could talk about my feelings in more detail, like i used to, but i just don't have the energy anymore. I've been looking for a way out and I can't find one. It's all out of my reach, so now i don't even see the point in explaining myself anymore. Nothing could fix me. I'm so stuck I've given up on trying to help myself. Most people can imagine what they want their life to be like in 10 years time. I try and imagine that now, maybe to give myself a reason to keep on living, but I can't. Whenever I try to my mind tells me that I'm lying to myself. That I will just get hurt, and so i shut down again. I don't believe I will make it to my 20ties .

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
1 hour ago, Nightjar said:

Well, I've been working hard. A bit too hard, granted but I don't feel too bad. Have a couple of things to do this afternoon but will try to get lots of relaxation in this evening. 

I work very hard too.  Age is catching up to me though.  It's that time in my life where I have to start acting my age.  I work too hard like a work horse when I do work.  If I keep this up I will fall over from a heart attack like most of my family do.  I'm going to start going through life with a different attitude.  Life is short so I'm going to start being more easy on myself.  I have to.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

Announcements

×
×
  • Create New...