MaepleSyrup Posted April 27, 2019 Share Posted April 27, 2019 I feel so stressed. I just want to sleep all day tomorrow. But I plan to keep my mind busy by pushing myself to do something productive perhaps. Maybe buy tickets for a music event or something- just anything to get me to escape honestly 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Soarsie18 Posted April 27, 2019 Share Posted April 27, 2019 (edited) I am nervous. Seeing my closest mates for the first time today since September. I'm trying to forgive them, and take into account that they have no idea what it's like. Still so much has changed. I'm basically going for coffee with some strangers. I don't know if seeing them will make me feel better or worse. I stayed up all night yesterday just thinking about things. Edited April 27, 2019 by Soarsie18 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
APFSDS Posted April 27, 2019 Share Posted April 27, 2019 Today I discovered a video on youtube of my past and people I knew. I've lost all those people because of my depression, anxiety and schizoid behaviour. Sure, I did experience positive memories and feelings when watching that video, but I realised that it's a lost cause. I feel like sh** now. Good times ain't coming back. It's only going to get worse. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MarkintheDark Posted April 27, 2019 Share Posted April 27, 2019 (edited) A li'l rough startup this morning physically. But today, amazingly, is one where I have zip on my plate. No obligations. No people pushing their way into my life. Nothing. Whatta relief! Edited April 27, 2019 by MarkintheDark 8 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Snow47 Posted April 27, 2019 Share Posted April 27, 2019 feeling left behind Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Snow47 Posted April 27, 2019 Share Posted April 27, 2019 feeling alone 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Snow47 Posted April 27, 2019 Share Posted April 27, 2019 feeling ******* myself Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rattler6 Posted April 27, 2019 Share Posted April 27, 2019 Content. I get next week off. Probably going out of state for the next few days. Worked out, went to yoga and picked up a few things for myself. 8 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
watalife Posted April 27, 2019 Share Posted April 27, 2019 Feel like I want to go somewhere but you have to have money to do anything. Im not going to start a relationship just to be able to go somewhere so I guess I'll be here for the rest of my life. Slaving away just to have a place to sleep and eat. I don't like booze so food it is! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sober4life Posted April 27, 2019 Share Posted April 27, 2019 The stress of my life got the best of me that's for sure. I'm ok today but nobody would want to see me the days I was missing from here. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
anon22ae Posted April 27, 2019 Share Posted April 27, 2019 Feeling like I don't belong in this world (or this timeline). When young(er), did you ever envision anything like the present reality of yourself and everything else? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sober4life Posted April 27, 2019 Share Posted April 27, 2019 28 minutes ago, anon22ae said: Feeling like I don't belong in this world (or this timeline). When young(er), did you ever envision anything like the present reality of yourself and everything else? I've always felt that way. I feel like there is probably life on many planets and I was brought to the wrong planet. It's like this is a planet of only cats and I'm the only dog. I'm never going to be a cat. I'm never going to be like anyone else no matter how hard I try. I feel like an alien that has just arrived every day. Nothing makes sense and I don't enjoy anything most people enjoy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Extremebeginner Posted April 27, 2019 Share Posted April 27, 2019 2 hours ago, sober4life said: The stress of my life got the best of me that's for sure. I'm ok today but nobody would want to see me the days I was missing from here. Sorry you have been having some extra tough times. I was just thinking that you hadnt posted for a while and was to write to see if you were ok. You were missed..... 6 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cherryapplez2020 Posted April 28, 2019 Share Posted April 28, 2019 Sorry why do I have to stay feeling beyond over this bs called life I need to start getting busy to help me get over this like I have said I have dune it before I can do it agin 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tears_Always Posted April 28, 2019 Share Posted April 28, 2019 I thought that I was having a good day today but got steadily more snippy as the day went on, then got home and had to face the fact that he isn't here and totally broke down crying. Just want to hide in bed and never come out again, or even better go join him. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
watalife Posted April 28, 2019 Share Posted April 28, 2019 3 hours ago, anon22ae said: Feeling like I don't belong in this world (or this timeline). When young(er), did you ever envision anything like the present reality of yourself and everything else? Never imagined this crap. I always imagined wearing business suits and sitting around oval tables nothing else 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DialAForAlan Posted April 28, 2019 Share Posted April 28, 2019 I don't know how to explain. I mean, I'm sure there's a word for it but idk what it is. In my heart, I know I need top surgery if I'm ever going to feel like myself but I also know I'm never going to have enough money to do it even if it's covered by insurance. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
salparadise6132 Posted April 28, 2019 Share Posted April 28, 2019 30 minutes ago, DialAForAlan said: I don't know how to explain. I mean, I'm sure there's a word for it but idk what it is. In my heart, I know I need top surgery if I'm ever going to feel like myself but I also know I'm never going to have enough money to do it even if it's covered by insurance. Hugs, my friend. I am sorry I can't offer you anything else. I wish I could cut a check to help you feel whole. But please know that we are with you!!!!!!!! 7 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DialAForAlan Posted April 28, 2019 Share Posted April 28, 2019 (edited) 14 minutes ago, salparadise6132 said: Hugs, my friend. I am sorry I can't offer you anything else. I wish I could cut a check to help you feel whole. But please know that we are with you!!!!!!!! Thank you so much. Honestly, hearing about other people who want to and/or can transition leaves me feeling jealous in ways it shouldn't because of this. Edited April 28, 2019 by DialAForAlan 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nightjar Posted April 28, 2019 Share Posted April 28, 2019 Feeling like a survivor at the moment. I've been through a lot but I'm still here. I feel like the storm is over and I'm beginning to see little stars twinkling away in the night sky. 7 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Soarsie18 Posted April 28, 2019 Share Posted April 28, 2019 Ok, I went out with my friends for the first time and actually felt like myself again. There were times when the dark cloud would come back and I'd zone out a bit. But overall it was a good distraction and I'm just glad that I've done it. I need to see the world out there to remember that theres something to fight for. 8 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MaepleSyrup Posted April 28, 2019 Share Posted April 28, 2019 Honestly? I feel a lot better. Certainly much better than yesterday and better than the day before. 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stand_alone Posted April 28, 2019 Share Posted April 28, 2019 I still feel lonely. I met a new person at class yesterday. The recent shooting is 20 mins from where I live. Too much hate in this world. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stolenmile Posted April 28, 2019 Share Posted April 28, 2019 I have depression and today is tough. Just tough. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Extremebeginner Posted April 28, 2019 Share Posted April 28, 2019 Feeling totally overwhelmed today and for no specific reason.it just fuels the staying n bed feeling, which means I dont deal with anything, so nothing gets better. What a terrible way to feel all thetime Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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