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Issues with BPD diagnosis

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Hi everyone! I have been doing a lot of thinking lately, and a lot of considering how my family works emotionally, and I have come to the conclusion that I might, indeed, have Borderline Personality Disorder. However, getting a diagnosis is difficult, because when psychs bring up the possibility of this, (or that I might be on the autism spectrum), they base it on the most ludicrous reasoning. Usually it involves the fact I'm not a terribly sexual person and I don't want a relationship or children at this stage, or that I don't like socialising with other women my age who, (where I live, at least), tend to only want to talk about reality TV and things like that which don't interest me. I got a test once, but what it was was that the psych showed me some really grainy, black-and-white pictures of people's eyes, (not their faces, just their eyes,) and asked me what the expression was. I could barely see, so I was guessing, because the picture was so bad. Afterwards, she told me I have Aspergers.

Then she told me that Aspergers is actually a gift, and I would find a better way of living now that I could stick to socializing 'with my own kind'. Which is insulting to everyone on the spectrum, because they're people, and not some 'kind' of alien, and actually doesn't prove I'm on the spectrum at all, since the test was about as scientific as me throwing wads of chewing gum at the wall. The tests I've seen from the DSM 5 for BPD don't look promising, either. They seem to be down to the psychiatrist's subjective opinion, which isn't great. (I think it's way more likely my issue is BPD, but I don't like elements of my personality being pathologized while the things that are upsetting me are ignored.)

So, if anyone here has BPD, how is it diagnosed? What is the actual criteria? And what sort of treatment options are there? I really want to be responsible about it, because I don't want the negative aspects of this to turn me into an awful person, and if my problems are caused by something else, I'd like to rule out what's not causing it.

Thank you!

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