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drowningsakura

Anyone else feel this way?

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I'm absolutely horrible at remembering to take my medication, especially when my life is quite busy (like during my semesters). I just realized a week ago that I have forgotten to take my meds for the past month or so, which definently had a hand in the downward spiral I am in. But the thing is, I don't want to take my meds. I know I should, I know it would make me feel better, but I just can't get myself to do it. I stare at the bottle and do nothing with it. I guess I partially don't want to admit that I need meds or anything else, even though I know I do, and I guess I'm terrified that I won't take them at all and end up hospitalized. I'm just really really lost right now.

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I honestly hated the thought of having to take medication just to help me feel better, that I should be able to do that on my own.. and I struggled with that for years. But knowing now that they can help me to feel better, and be able to live normal and happier I'm starting to realize it's not a bad thing. A doctor once mentioned that its like a diabetic who has to take insulin because their body doesn't produce enough on it's own, if they felt like we do about not wanting to take them because they feel they should be able to make enough on their own they would probably end up really sick, just like those of us who take it for mental health. I personally believe that some of us have a chemical imbalance of neurotransmitters and we just don't produce enough seratonin on our own at points in our life, or possibly all our life, and when the levels get off everything goes off so we just need to get it back to normal. I still hope that at some point I won't have to take them forever but until that happens, I'm more then happy to take them and be functioning normal and living life rather then suffer and feel bad. 

I hope that you find a solution that works for you soon, and you start feeling better! 

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