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Is anyone out there? Struggling here


Aislynn

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Not sure how active this site is or which board is most currently active. 

It’s been many years since I sought support online. Last forum became a nightmare and I very nearly ended my life. So I’ve stayed far away, but I just need to not feel so dam alone.

theres probably nobody around but I thought I’d at least try

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Hello and welcome. The New Members forum is good for introducing yourself and it does get attention, though feel at ease jumping into any conversation. While it may not be as large as some other support communities, replies tend to be more thoughtful, more numerous and more personal. I think that fosters intimacy and trust which are qualities the larger communities can't always provide. 

Sorry to hear you're struggling. If you're ready to share what's weighing on your mind, you will get responses. 

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10 hours ago, Aislynn said:

Not sure how active this site is or which board is most currently active. 

It’s been many years since I sought support online. Last forum became a nightmare and I very nearly ended my life. So I’ve stayed far away, but I just need to not feel so dam alone.

theres probably nobody around but I thought I’d at least try

Hi Aislynn

I'm fairly new, sorta. But from what I see, sometimes the boards are active more, other times less. There are a few places you'll see a tumbleweed roll by, but other places you'll get an almost immediate answer.

I stay at the Blogs. It helps to keep a blog, and people here are extremely kind. I've never met such great people.

I'm like you - I've been to other forums where it became a nightmare, and I ended up suicidal too. I understand.

If you need someone to talk to, I'm here. I think I'm a good listener. I try to be.

I hope you are able to stay here for a long while with us.  This is the best forum I've been to since we got the internet back in 2002.

I've never felt so welcome before, as I do here.

I send you good vibes of comfort, peace, love and joy. :)

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19 hours ago, Aislynn said:

Not sure how active this site is or which board is most currently active. 

It’s been many years since I sought support online. Last forum became a nightmare and I very nearly ended my life. So I’ve stayed far away, but I just need to not feel so dam alone.

theres probably nobody around but I thought I’d at least try

I hope you are feeling better my friend and I hate I didn’t see your post earlier.  Best of luck my friend and try to enjoy the rest of your day 

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i know how you feel. feeling like their is no hope and your the only one that feels this way. I too struggle with mental health issues. If you feel this way again please call a suicide hotline and this forum has a number for such a hotline. 

I still quite sick myself but i am getting help and doing my best.

please reach out and try to get help.

online support is good but will never replace in person help. 

finally don't be afraid to go the er if it gets that bad. if you think that no one will miss you or that no one will miss you well you are sadly mistaken.  I'm sure so many people would be devastated.  i just wanted to say you aren't alone and i wanted you to know that i care what happens to you.

david

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Thank you everyone for the replies, they mean a lot. 

Merry Christmas for what it’s worth.

i was feeling a bit better yesterday. But now I’m in tears. I guess my Christmas present is being verbally attacked by my adult daughter. Everything that doesn’t go right is my fault. Never does she take any responsibility. Then there’s her ex who is the biggest dead beat dad. The kids other grandmother who could help out but is to busy having fun. You’re very welcome daughter for me, on my own, solely supporting you and your 4 children until you decided to get a job 2 years later. You’re very welcome daughter for me not watching your 4 children, but for raising them while you are gone 22 out of 24 hours every day. Here’s my teeth, give a good kick please.

im sorry. I’m simply hurting atm. More depressed than I was and feeling very beat up.

i was dx’d more than 20 yrs ago with bp2 rapid cycling. I have more depression than anything so I think someone screwed up. Co-morbid  include severe anxiety, ptsd, blah, blah, blah. Been through years of therapy, rather successfully I might add. Been through near all medications. Most I react badly to, so Drs have pretty much thrown up their hands. External sources play a huge part. I’m working on that.

i know it’s possible to get to a better place, I was there before. I was a cake designer, sat on the NAMI board of directors for my local chapter and ran support groups for those with mental health illnesses for NAMI. I also did their newsletter. All at the same time while doing my own therapy and group therapy sessions and Drs and raising my toddler daughter, as well as fighting and winning custody back of my older/now adult daughter and having a third party find that my daughter was wrongfully removed from my custody.

so I do know I can get to that place. If I can take care of me. But I can’t take care of me, so I’m just hanging on by my fingernails. At least I’m not SI. Even if I might like to. I know better. 

So that’s a quick rundown.

i meditate and am trying to change my thought pattern. Which would go much better if I wasn’t surrounded by negative people who blame me just because it helps them feel better.

anyway, I suppose I’d better go before I give more ammunition.

thanks for listening.

Ais

Edited by Aislynn
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Hi @Aislynn,

You are not to blame for your daughter's poor judgement.  She chose a mate/husband(?) poorly and was unable to keep him.  Hell it sounds like you should be charging her for childcare or petitioning the court for custody of the kids.  Plus back-pay.  I have 2 friends who have deadbeat sisters that had their kids taken.  And the state should have put them with a better family relative faster or in foster care.Both of those ladies are shining examples of why there used to be forced sterilization, perhaps it should be brought back.  It is not right to conceive a child while you are living like an idiot.  I also think it is wrong to have a child if certain things can be passed down to the child. 

I hate people who do not work when they are physically and psychologically able to do so.  I have driven half way across the US to and from work every month for a while.  I have worked while hurt and while I was in a very damaged emotional state in a high stress job that could be a tad dangerous and come out on top.  I am currently working with someone who works very long hours and should have seen a doctor months ago.  I have never been on food stamps or welfare.  I also lacked the heart to apply for unemployment benefits. 

I am someone who takes responsibility for my actions.  I have failed and fessed up to it.  Honestly it pisses me off when people do not take responsibility for their actions.  Not to sound unkind but there is practically a meme for women who do not take responsibility for their actions. 

Sounds like your daughter needs the boot if she is treating you like that.  Some discomfort would probably do that loser good. 

Hope things look up for you.

 

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Welcome,

Yeah, we're here. Sometimes it takes some time to get a response, sorry. Some of us usually try to respond to new posts, even if we have nothing helpful to say, but other times we're busy or too hurting ourselves to reach out. 

This seems to be a pretty smart bunch around here, and you can get a lot of insight and useful help. If nothing else, you'll get understanding.

Hang on and keep posting.

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This is still my preferred forum for chatting, even though it does seem less active. Iguess I have to accept that everything changes, including myself and then post knowing that there will be a response, supporting me and others in a timely manner.

if I was the optimistic person I used to be, I would say its great because people are healed of these terrible mental issues, however, the realist in me says its because times have changed. At least Ifeel better writing things down here, and if you have the time and energy to read and respond, then that will help us all feel less lonely

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