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sad in grand Rapids

self medication with food

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I had to give  Alcohol  and cannabis. now all day i eat.  I lost a 80 pounds of weight And I'm going to gain it back. its ethier that or using . its my only comfort as i have no friends so im eating. i feel like i need something. im having bad thoughts tonight and negative thinking is raging again. i feel like i will never be happy. 

I'm going started going to 12 step meeting for emotions but have no faith it will work

the need to escape is becoming stronger each day. 

ive gave a lot lately but feel worse than ever.

david 

 

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I have used food to cope my whole life.  It's one addiction I can never beat because I have to eat to survive.  That's why I exercise.  Sometimes I eat like a horse so I have to exercise it off.  I know what it's like to have bipolar disorder.  You can go on binges of everything addictive that could set records.  I do as much cardio as I can to deal with my eating issues.

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thanks so much i really needed to hear this. everything is raw  and feels like i am  bleeding. i am no longer covering up feelings with herb and alcohol i haven't drank in like 4 weeks and tomrow i will be canabis will be 10 days. i need to make friends being alone sucks i join church since i do believe but i am scared to do so. 

i need feel my way out of this not drug my way out. the insanity has to stop .

david

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I don't know if it will help, but whenever I have the urge to do something that I will regret later and no one is around to help me (including but not limited to: staying in bed all day, eating pure junk food, drinking alcohol, texting someone I probably shouldn't, etc.), I have a playlist of music on my phone that I use.  It is a very select type of music that relates to exactly how sad I am feeling, but it gives lots of encouragement.  Usually the beat is really fast, but not always.  Once I have my playlist going at a loud enough volume, I just start dancing.  By no means am I any good at dancing, but I'm all alone so I can do whatever I want.  I hop around on my bed, roll around on the floor, twerk with me feet in a chair, you name it I've probably tried to do it.  Sometimes I'm just so sad that when the music relates to me, I just start bawling my eyes out, but I keep dancing around.  By the end of it, the music shifts over to just being happy, upbeat stuff, and I'm usually tired and ready to eat a real meal.

Also, since it is officially December, another method I use to distract myself is wrapping.  I went out last year and bought a lot of wrapping paper when it was on sale, and this year, whenever I am feeling down, I just grab some random item in my house and start wrapping it.  Once it's wrapped, I stick it under the tree.  I mean, I have no one else, so at least having something wrapped under the tree would be nice.  Plus, I didn't go out and indulge in a shopping spree to wrap stuff.  It's cheap, it's easy and convenient, and it doesn't push me over the top into a manic phase.

If I don't feel like wrapping, but I'm feeling really down, I just grab one of the presents and unwrap it.  Sometimes I forget what it was, and I get a little giggle when I open it and see the empty box my Christmas lights came in.  I giggle because I remember how awkward it was to string the lights into the tree and how I accidently ripped off a few branches.  I giggle because I remember the same night I wrapped that box, I was dancing around with a partially assembled Christmas tree.  It helps.  In some small way it helps.

Lastly, I like to browse the internet for ideas of what I can hand-make for the guys and gals at the old folks home.  I plan to visit them a few days before Christmas, and I want to make sure I have made enough gifts to hand out to anyone who wants one.  I plan on taking pictures of each step of the process when I am making each gift, and I'll add the pictures in the present too.

I also make sure not to stay up late.  That is my absolute WORST enemy, is the night time.  When the sun goes down, my thoughts get worse.  So it's an early bed time for me, and that goes a long way in keeping myself in a good spot.

These are just a few ideas.  They don't always help me, but it's my first line of defense, and it does a pretty good job.  You're doing great so far, and now you just have to find the right ways to cope now.  We're here for you!

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thanks I'm feeling a bit better and I'm going to support group tonight and I'm going get off my chest what's been going on. my health insurance has a social worker i can call. i talked to her and told her how bad ive been she have me some ideas. I'm going to try them. talking to some really helps. 

david

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28 minutes ago, sad in grand Rapids said:

thanks I'm feeling a bit better and I'm going to support group tonight and I'm going get off my chest what's been going on. my health insurance has a social worker i can call. i talked to her and told her how bad ive been she have me some ideas. I'm going to try them. talking to some really helps. 

david

That's awesome dude.  I'm happy that she was able to give some advice.  If you'd be willing, I'd love to hear what advice she gave, and maybe I could try it out too.

Also, support groups are amazing.  Sadly, I never knew how helpful they were until I stopped going and had nobody to vent to.

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