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TheLastOutPost

A Beginning, A Detour, Another End

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How much more of this can I withstand? How many more years? How many more false-starts? How many more orgasms by myself? I can't keep getting knocked down to the mat like this. They tell you to keep your chin up, but at age 38, how many more uppercuts to the jaw can I absorb? Okay, lemme rewind.
So, last month I started a new job, one with some promise, since the actual work is tolerable- in contrast to most of my prior jobs. But the people who work in the office I'm in are so incredibly stuck-up I think if I had a coronary they would notice to the same degree that they notice when the printer is out of ink. This new job I got via assignment through a temp agency after relocating to my "hometown" after years away. Also, this town is home to the state's "Polytechnic" university, where if you aren't a student or a graduate of this school, they think you're some sub-human imbecile. It's one of those big state schools where the university is the raison d'etre for the whole area, and the local media will literally print stories about the school installing new dog pooper-scooper stations along walking paths on campus, as if the provost of Harvard will catch wind of it and declare, "We're closing! We just can't compete with V. Tech!"
So anyway, I'm no goddamn Hokie and this place is basically an extension of the campus, so of course almost everyone in that place has their master's degree from there and they have it in their heads that they're all a bunch of Thomas Edisons giving the world a new version of the light bulb every time they take a shit. There's this chick that sits two cubes down from me who is so goddamn arrogant, and so convinced of her manifest intellect, that on 2 occasions now I've passed her in the hallway, greeted her by name only to have her look me right in my eyes and form an expression on her face that says, "Who told that animal it's allowed to speak at me?" And the whole town is like this. A common suggestion I get is, "You should pursue your interests in like a Meetup.com group or something. Or get on a dating app." Decent concept, except everyone involved in anything around here is affiliated with the university, and are unwelcoming to people like me who didn't join their flock. Women just put their degree and their graduating year in their dating profile and that's it!
Now to really put the cherry on top, my first day there my manager is walking me around and introducing me to people, and she leads me into this chick's office, and as I round the corner the name tag on the door sparks a memory association that I haven't thought about in literally two decades. I went to high school with this girl and she was a total asshole then and hasn't a bit. She gave me this look like, "You are human garbage." After 20 ****ing years! It tells me she hasn't had much life experience between then and now, but she's some kind of manager due to swimming through the Tech system of internships in town. So, in addition to trying to establish myself in the office, a difficult task in most scenarios, I have this poison pill running around quietly whispering shit-talk about me behind my back. It's just endless. Shit stacked on top of shit on top of more shit.
And all I want to do is work there for a while and save up some money and move several hours away from here where there's more to life than tailgating 5 times a year as the university plays a week football schedule so they can guarantee themselves a bowl game and convince themselves in the local media that they're the greatest college town since Athens, Greece. But after a few weeks it's becoming abundantly clear that I'm not welcome there. But it took two and a half months to land this gig and if this falls through I don't know what I'm gonna do.
Ah well, after 20 years of heavy depression there isn't much time left anyway. I'm not tall, dark, and handsome so I have little social currency. I'm the opposite: a short, chubby, ginger. I'm socially bankrupt! I can finally admit to myself at this stage that there isn't "someone for everyone", and some people will never fit in, and society just doesn't give a ****. Gravestones are grey for a reason: because they mark yet another unremarkable body. And that's what I've been my whole life- a walking tombstone that maybe 3 or 4 people would even know about it. The rest are the busy-people in society who matter. And in a place like this college town, if you aren't a part of the beehive, you're just a walking-tombstone.

-The Last Outpost

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It sounds like those people in that town needs to really get themselves a real life.

My friend try not to allow there false perception of life get you down because

in reality those people really don't have a life outside of there town. You probably

are much better off without them in your life anyway. 

 

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11 minutes ago, BeyondWeary said:

How hard to deal with! Hope there is someway to can find another place to live with a better job or get someone who can help you get some good coping skills to stay there. Feel for you.

I have dealt with similar situations like the one you are talking about and I have learned if you do your job very well.  It will solve a lot of your problems and what it doesn’t solve allow God to do the rest.I have been dealing with this kind of foolishness for almost eighteen years and Praise God I’m still standing 

 

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I guess the big problem is, while going somewhere else would be the ideal solution, one needs saved and incoming money to do so. Is it possible for you to stick out the job for a year or so and seek something better elsewhere?

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I would avoid responding to their attitude at all and do the absolute best you can at your job.  Be careful of what you say unless those arrogant illegitimate children will respect it.  Be nice even if they are mean.

I have had bosses who were mean to me for no reason.  I bore it.  I actually snapped at one and that seemed to smooth things over.  Another I called out when she said something unsupported and her behavior improved after that. 

Do not let them get an emotional reaction out of you. 

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