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Hello. I'm not sure what to say; I'm severely depressed currently, and have been for a long, long time - decades, if I had to guess. I suppose at the time that it really set in, in those last couple years of high school, I ignored it with the assumption that once I got to college, life would "begin" and happy days would reign supreme. How wrong I was, as college only added another dimension to the suckitude. Sure, I was sparked by my studies, but due to a complicated set of events, that bridge to a decent and fulfilling life was taken from me, and when I dropped out of school after being forced to change majors at the end of my 3rd year; I was left with tens of thousands of dollars in debt, no degree, and no entry-point into a promising career or company. Then The Suck really grabbed me by the throat, looked me dead in the eyes, and said, "Now what?"
The rest of my adulthood have been several lonely dead-ends, a few promising detours that quickly turned into surprise cul-de-sacs, a bout with cancer, and depression so intense I feel like I'm about to drop into some abyss at any given moment. I'm 38, live at my mom's, and struggle with an ongoing auto-immune condition that has drained much of my little available income after paying bills. I can't get a girlfriend b/c I'm short, a result of my truncated growth-spurt in high school due to my health condition that I was diagnosed with at age 5. One of the things that kept me going in my 20s was a couple of long-term friends, who aided my struggle in life through laughter and good spirit (mostly); but as my 30s are now approaching their sunset, even they have receded into the shadows. 
Aside from my mother, I have no support structure. And more to the point, most people I meet at various jobs I've had over the past decade don't just overlook, but they actively dislike me, before I have the chance to really get to know them. Ever hear the phrase, "gingers have no souls"? I have, cuz I'm a short ginger, with acne scars to boot. I mean, you wouldn't believe the amount of contempt and resentment that gets smuggled into the collective-unconscious in the form of "jokes" at an out-group's expense until you're one of them.
Alone I walk this world these days, having tried desperately to right the boat that is my stupid, cursed life for all these years. I usually like to think of the life of the loner as one of quiet dignity, like some ronin negotiating his path on his own terms ; in my case though, it increasingly feels like Fate quietly snickering at me as I turn every corner.
Now, have I been some continuous victim all this time, all these years? No. I've made mistakes and miscalculations. I've returned fire when it would have been better to take the hit and carry on unhindered. I don't want to paint the picture that somehow I've been some choir boy, but I just feel like I've been unfairly burdened throughout most of my life and in ways that have been disproportionate to any transgressions I may have committed.
At this point in my journey, I'm just not sure how much more of this I'm gonna stick around for. I guess I need to say some of this while there's still time. I don't even know what good coming to this forum may possibly achieve, and if anything, I guess I'm sticking a note in a bottle and casting it out to the waters' whims, not really expecting a reply....or anything, really. I guess most of us here are adrift to some degree. And maybe this message will wash up on your shore, wherever that may be, and you'll say, "I see something of myself in this."
Anyway, thank you for reading.

-The Last Outpost

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Welcome! Glad you reached out and found us. You are very accepted here just as you are. I can relate in some ways. Life seems so unbalanced in the hardness to what degree a person gets. Please keep coming back, reading other's posts, and posting yourself. We will work at supporting you as best we can. It may take a while to get responses as we all have a lot going on. So please be patient with us. You are not alone in this.

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