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I hate this upcoming holiday season. I know this is the time of year many folks become depressed.

My job just put me and everyone in the department on call which is almost the same thing as unemployed. Right, now I would have to go through the whole job searching ordeal but I feel I don’t know what to look for because I still don’t know in life of what am I. My bachelor’s never amount to anything. Not knowing made me loose motivation and I just froze.

 

I’m 34 yet my family for 3 yrs now don't know how old I really am and I don’t even bother to correct them. 

I have no real life friends.There are some online friends but I don’t think that counts much.  I had an online friend which I thought converted to real friendship but we dont talk to each other anymore and it fell out. I would like to have a friend who I can talk to and be comfortable with. I feel depressingly lonely.

I have been having thoughts that since I feel I am an utter failure in life, suicide is better than living in homelessness. I have thought of drug overdose and electrocution as the easiest ways. My family will move apart in time. This could be the last winter I live under a roof. Many homeless ppl I see while working Downtown have worse mental problems I have and ofc they shit on the streets a lot.

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So sorry Stand_alone! Holidays can be so hard with depression. I try to not to pay too much attention to them as much as possible and do my own thing. Since you posted this under the Religion Forum, I would suggest you find a good, healthy church family to be a part of for support and friendship. If you find a good, healthy one, they can be the best at accepting you as you are and reaching out with love and caring, not judgement. It might be worth a try. 

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There are some good churches out there that are in no way "stiff". Try just a Christian church that is not with a certain religion. They are a lot different than the Catholic churches.

Edited by BeyondWeary

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It might pay to give a Protestant (or even 'Protestant') church a go. They do tend to have a different approach to life to Catholic churches, and they are more varied in tone and practice. You may still not find what you're looking for. (I tried many churches and did not find what I was looking for, so I can attest to that.) However, it's worth a shot.

It sucks about your job. I have been in a similar situation recently. I got a job, was really happy about it, but did wonder why they hired someone outside the field ... then found out it's because the company had a history of using and discarding workers. I was majorly ticked off. I stayed a few months and got some money, then left before they could fire me and start acting like it was my fault. I think I only just made it out the door in time. :veryangry: And sadly, money doesn't last for long, no matter how well you try to save. The job search is a real drag, because there are all those little coded details that tell me I'm not what they want.

Online friendships can be like that. I had a group of friends once, but when our geographic locations changed, we slowly fell out because nobody else was making the effort in the relationship, and I only have three now, all of whom are online. I think online friendships are definitely real friendships, but it's harder to keep in touch that way.

I'm also lonely, but don't have the energy to pursue new relationships, so we're probably not quite the same in that respect. I still know how lonely things can be, though.

:hugs:

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Well I got called back to work since Tuesday. It feels like every day can be my last day. Hrs are shorten to 6hrs. I tried a hiring session after work. Who knows if I get hired. I should be grateful to at least be working. Yet I heard somene who was working here died of OD. It is disheartening but have felt this could be me.

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