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20YearsandCounting

The Post Anything Thread #3

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Posted (edited)

The day I called in to work, my roommate and I were having lunch together. I told her about missing my old apartment and how I walked to the grocery store and that carrying two reusable bags of groceries each time was good exercise. She told me she'd give me a few reusable bags when I move out. This is why I ran away with catastrophe in my mind. This happens often enough regarding my living situation, but not usually with anything else*. Obviously, this is the thing that scares me the most currently. 

There are ways to feel better about it, more secure, and I'm taking steps to do so. Thinking back over the last year, nothing that I've been afraid of has actually come to pass. Bad things have happened, yes, but I've always found a solution just when I needed it. I'm working on finding a better job next year, made the decision to delay school by one semester, am reconnecting with a few family members in between semesters, slowly building up furniture and other basic apartment items (this stuff adds up- one plate here, one carrot peeler there, one shower curtain here...)

Whenever I feel hopeless or scared, it helps to remind myself how far I've already come. I need to reach a point where, if everything around me fell away, I'd be able to reasonably sustain a roof over my head and not starve. 🙂 Not only is this important for everyone, but it's particularly important to me to regain that for myself after it was stolen from me. I need to take that back. I don't think I'll ever heal if I don't.

*Okay, it does with my love life. But all of these things are gradually getting better.

Edited by moodyjuniper

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If there really is a god like my sister goes on and on about everyday then god rewards evil and punishes the good.  If you don't believe me i got lots of proof. I wish someone would reveal the truth on this matter. 

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Posted (edited)
On 4/25/2019 at 3:02 AM, SpiralingMind said:

I spent 15 minutes looking for my glasses tonight.  Do you know where I found them?

On my face.

I know how you feel.  I can't tell you how many times I've been looking for the car keys while driving down the road in the car.  Other times when mom was still alive I could be riding in the car with her and we would pass a car that looked like ours and I would think hey there's mom and she was sitting beside me.

Edited by sober4life

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I released my ladybug "Rembrandt".  I only kept him so he would survive the bitter winter here. 

Now it is time to think about releasing my pet cockroach "Michelangelo."  He is almost full grown now.  I think I will let him go close to the river and at night if I can so he'll only have to worry about lizards and mice and not birds and homes with pesticides. 

I still have all my spiders. 

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I've cried to my family saying I'm not sure what I'm going to do for Mothers Day and they say nothing.  Humans would say well why don't you do something with us but when I look at them the looks on their faces say I hope she doesn't want to do anything with us.  Then they change the subject.

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Posted (edited)

I'm actually going to be able to afford to have live tv here for the first time in almost 6 months.  Starts playing the theme to the Jeffersons I'm movin on up to the east side to a deluxe apartment in the sky.

Edited by sober4life

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Posted (edited)
22 hours ago, evalynn said:

I'm sitting outside and there are literally roaches falling from the sky. What in the actual ****?!

I guess that part of the idea of DF is that we're never alone.  😁  In that respect, I just took out the recycling, had one drop from the sky and land on my neck.

Still not quite as unnerving as several years ago when I put on my jeans and felt one inside crawling up my...ah...leg. :cheesy:

Edited by MarkintheDark

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Simply outstanding kitty playtime this evening because he was stuck inside during the afternoon thunderstorms.  My arms are ripped to shreds.  Well, as long as he's entertained and happy...

My pdoc may wonder about that when I see him in the morning.

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Got a call from my son this afternoon. He and his girlfriend were hanging out in her dorm room when a car hit the f*$%ing building about 3 or 4 feet from her room's window. They are both ok - but quite shaken. It is finals week. 

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Posted (edited)

A three inch lizard hitched a ride on the hood of our car from the vet's office parking lot to our neighborhood. I was distracted by him the whole ride home, hoping he wasn't going to fly off into traffic and wondering if he was a baby who was never going to see his family again by the time we got home. When we arrived, my husband had a hell of a time picking him up since he kept jumping away and he kind of blended in with the car. Finally he took a little ride on my husband's hand til we found the perfect patch of grass to set him down.

Edited by evalynn

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I've always thought my life was some Truman Show thing but not like the movie.  In my scenario all the characters are perfectly placed to make sure my life is as miserable as possible.  What happened today is the last straw.  It has to be true.  This has to be hell.  I want out of this world god.  Are you listening?  If you are constantly gunning for me strike me down with lightning and get it over with.

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I think most people go around in this world thinking the people around them are normal or at least in better shape than they are in but I don't.  I think if I'm this bad what if everyone is this bad or worse?  

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Posted (edited)

@sober4lifeI think alot of those people probably have access to distractions. And maybe you do to. Pills, drugs, alcohol, money, shopping,  sex, good friends and family. Even if they do feel sad for a while its short lived with all there distractions. Honestly some people have no feelings at all. And some feel to much  

Edited by watalife

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35 minutes ago, watalife said:

@sober4lifeI think alot of those people probably have access to distractions. And maybe you do to. Pills, drugs, alcohol, money, shopping,  sex, good friends and family. Even if they do feel sad for a while its short lived with all there distractions. Honestly some people have no feelings at all. And some feel to much  

So basically everyone's life starts out as awful and the only way to get through it is if we're distracted in some way.

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