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20YearsandCounting

TA's "What's On Your Mind Right Now?" Thread, Part 2

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Posted (edited)
7 hours ago, Atra said:

Watching the news seeing Notre Dame in Paris engulfed in flames is so depressing. I spent an entire day in the Cathedral in the towers and crypt just last week. Unbelievable.

Made me sad too. I've visited Notre Dame a couple of times and It never failed to amaze me.

Edited by samadhiSheol

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4 hours ago, Tears_Always said:

How do you know you are not the normal one, and they are wrong? What is normal anyway?

I know I really do think I'm the normal one and everyone else is crazy.  I've been the family scapegoat my whole life.  If they point the finger at me and say look how nuts she is enough nobody pays attention to how nuts they are.

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On 4/14/2019 at 2:29 AM, evalynn said:

We are constantly bombarded with TV commercials for fast food on TV. I bet if I watched less TV, I would eat less junk.

Continuing on this thought, I don't make it easier on myself by watching the Food Network. I've been watching a lot the last few days and I've also been eating a lot. I keep an internal log of all the foods I want to try, and it's never the healthy ones. 😆

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It's so hard doing this life alone.  Every day you know the world doesn't give a shit if you survive.  In fact all the people in my life actively try to make sure I don't do well in life.  They laugh at me and make fun of me when I try to do my best.  They try to trip me up and make sure I fall on my face if they get the chance.  There's nobody I can talk to or trust and no safe place in the world not even here because I have the neighbors to worry about.

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I’m wondering what made my psychologist so jittery and awkward and absent-minded during our session today. I’ve never seem him like that. He is the most composed, self-assured person I’ve ever met. I have a running joke in my head that he and the new art therapist hired a few months back are having an affair. I do know they lectured together at an art therapy conference in Milwaukee only a few days ago (they told me about this, I wasn’t Facebook spying again). I’ll assume they roomed together that night, too. Obviously his wife has only just found out about this, and sent him a confrontational text message moments before I’d seen him. 

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I need to stop listening to everyone else and remember my position. I know people have good intentions, but they don't think the way I have to think because they're not in my position.

I'm not pulling my weight at home consistently. I know this. I've been so scattered. And, being completely open, I've spent the last three days barely getting anything done for school. The load is light right now, but I still have deadlines plus Easter brunch tomorrow when I'm normally taking a quiz.

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Posted (edited)

I wish everyone out there knew that they are loved by someone. I hate how this disease makes you question your self worth and automatically blame yourself for everything that's gone wrong. It's so easy to fall deeper into the pit of self-hatred without even knowing you are doing it. You are all loved by someone. And you all mean a great deal to me. 

Edited by Soarsie18

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I don't feel like entertaining. I never entertained this much when I was alone.

It's all well and good for people to help me out, but honestly, what they expect most in return are things that require time, which I don't have if I'm going to go to school. Not that I don't appreciate the help, because I'd be dead without it, but it doesn't work so well anymore.

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