20YearsandCounting 7,033 Posted November 18, 2018 Wow, what a great thread! Getting a new one started since the old one is 25+ pages! Here are the last few posts, and a link to the old thread if you need it. https://www.depressionforums.org/forums/topic/146851-whats-on-your-mind-right-now-2/?page=26 5 minutes ago, sober4life said: I wish this would be over soon. I hate life! 6 hours ago, Rattler6 said: Not sure what to do next today. Not wanting to go back to work on Monday but I have financial goals, things I want to do and a few things I want to do. 11 hours ago, babyxgothxx said: Same 12 hours ago, evalynn said: I hate when my eye won't stop watering. It's so irritating, physically and mentally. It also scares me, because that's how my inexplicable week of bell palsy started in high school. 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
sober4life 31,995 Posted November 18, 2018 My dog loves my niece. She's a 10 year old version of mom. It makes me cry. 6 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Floor2017 6,064 Posted November 18, 2018 11 minutes ago, sober4life said: My dog loves my niece. She's a 10 year old version of mom. It makes me cry. I do understand my friend but it sure is good to see a love one in another family member that brings back precious memories. 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
samadhiSheol 7,780 Posted November 19, 2018 Tomorrow’s mri- scan. I hate confined, constricted spaces (read: I am claustrophobic), but it is a necessary step to figure out what’s going on in my chronic effed up, pain ridden wrist/arm. I am also thinking of the bother of going to work after the scan. It will take me longer to get there. I dislike my job and I am utterly bored with it. I can’t find anything else and with all this chronic pain- and what-not -crappery in my life, also being the age I am, I feel completely defeated. Why even bother anymore? No reason I guess. I seem to have inherited all the bad genes and characteristics of both sides of my respective family lines. If I’m glad for one thing it’s that I don’t have kids to pass on all of these bad genes and bad blood I have picked up during my dissatisfactory and disappointing failure of a life. 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
APFSDS 1,874 Posted November 19, 2018 Paid my bills and stuff. But I keep thinking what if I didn't. Did I? Or didn't I? I remember paying them, but are the memories real? Same damn thing about the gas valves, apartment keys... Did I say something insulting? Maybe there's a hidden f**k somewhere. That's how I roll. Call the Guards! 5 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Floor2017 6,064 Posted November 20, 2018 17 hours ago, samadhiSheol said: Tomorrow’s mri- scan. I hate confined, constricted spaces (read: I am claustrophobic), but it is a necessary step to figure out what’s going on in my chronic effed up, pain ridden wrist/arm. I am also thinking of the bother of going to work after the scan. It will take me longer to get there. I dislike my job and I am utterly bored with it. I can’t find anything else and with all this chronic pain- and what-not -crappery in my life, also being the age I am, I feel completely defeated. Why even bother anymore? No reason I guess. I seem to have inherited all the bad genes and characteristics of both sides of my respective family lines. If I’m glad for one thing it’s that I don’t have kids to pass on all of these bad genes and bad blood I have picked up during my dissatisfactory and disappointing failure of a life. I feel you my friend and I can relate to your struggles 3 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
samadhiSheol 7,780 Posted November 20, 2018 (edited) 18 minutes ago, Floor2017 said: I feel you my friend and I can relate to your struggles Muchos thanks Floor. Funnily enough claustrophobia wasn't an issue today. It was the impossible postion I had to be. Haha I was in the so-called "superman position. As I had my shoulder decalsified a few weeks ago and only recently have gained any resemblance of mobility in the shoulder area, it was more the position I was in that was the bxxxh of it. It went well though and the nurse commented how still I was throughout the procedure. Waiting for the orthopedist's evaluation next. I know there is a ganglion cyst somewhere within the wrist which is causing the pain in my wrist. So still no boxing as in heavy bags or pad work and I have to modify any workouts. But I intend to shadow kickbox the crap out of my nihilst stance of today Edited November 20, 2018 by samadhiSheol 3 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
iWantRope 1,033 Posted November 20, 2018 Where the ******* **** am I supposed to find tutorials for cyber-security products?!?! 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Floor2017 6,064 Posted November 20, 2018 1 hour ago, samadhiSheol said: Muchos thanks Floor. Funnily enough claustrophobia wasn't an issue today. It was the impossible postion I had to be. Haha I was in the so-called "superman position. As I had my shoulder decalsified a few weeks ago and only recently have gained any resemblance of mobility in the shoulder area, it was more the position I was in that was the bxxxh of it. It went well though and the nurse commented how still I was throughout the procedure. Waiting for the orthopedist's evaluation next. I know there is a ganglion cyst somewhere within the wrist which is causing the pain in my wrist. So still no boxing as in heavy bags or pad work and I have to modify any workouts. But I intend to shadow kickbox the crap out of my nihilst stance of today ok superman just don't over do it 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
samadhiSheol 7,780 Posted November 20, 2018 2 hours ago, Floor2017 said: ok superman just don't over do it Haha I wish.. 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Floor2017 6,064 Posted November 20, 2018 I WANT TO GO HOME! 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
samadhiSheol 7,780 Posted November 20, 2018 1 minute ago, Floor2017 said: I WANT TO GO HOME! So where are you, Floor? 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
samadhiSheol 7,780 Posted November 20, 2018 (edited) Our kitty’s paws and claws as she is kneading my thigh. Edited November 20, 2018 by samadhiSheol 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Floor2017 6,064 Posted November 20, 2018 6 minutes ago, samadhiSheol said: So where are you, Floor? At Work my friend 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
samadhiSheol 7,780 Posted November 20, 2018 33 minutes ago, Floor2017 said: At Work my friend Haha penny dropped. Have a nice day. Floor. You’ll get home soon enough. 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Floor2017 6,064 Posted November 20, 2018 1 minute ago, samadhiSheol said: Haha penny dropped. Have a nice day. Floor. You’ll get home soon enough. You know how to make a fellow smile. 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
evalynn 22,028 Posted November 20, 2018 I wish I could take a nap right now. 3 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Floor2017 6,064 Posted November 20, 2018 I'm hungry and I'm ready to eat. 3 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Epictetus 19,122 Posted November 20, 2018 Now that I'm retired, I don't usually 'seize the day.' Most of the time, I just poked it with a stick. 5 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
APFSDS 1,874 Posted November 25, 2018 A year ago I ordered two sparring swords. They were in the "coming soon" category. Spoiler I should write to them and cancel the order. 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Floor2017 6,064 Posted November 25, 2018 17 minutes ago, APFSDS said: A year ago I ordered two sparring swords. They were in the "coming soon" category. Hide contents I should write to them and cancel the order. NFL football 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
samadhiSheol 7,780 Posted November 28, 2018 (edited) I turned out to be the loser they saw in me when I was bullied at 14-16. I have no reason to not think I am a failure. I was/am crap at everything I did/do. The only thing different from the me then and now is I hate myself even more and I know hope never existed in the first place. Edited November 28, 2018 by samadhiSheol 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Natasha1 11,808 Posted November 28, 2018 Trust issues. 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Floor2017 6,064 Posted November 28, 2018 1 hour ago, Natasha1 said: Trust issues. Trusting in something or someone can be hard to do sometimes especially if you have been hurt from it before 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
evalynn 22,028 Posted November 28, 2018 My back hurts. I have to rearrange my body and the pillows underneath me. It seems to hurt more lately, maybe I knew a new firm pillow to support it. Also I feel very tired and it's coldish today so I don't want to leave these blankets if I don't have to. 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites