TA's "What's On Your Mind Right Now?" Thread, Part 2

[20YearsandCounting 6,559]

Wow, what a great thread!  Getting a new one started since the old one is 25+ pages!  Here are the last few  posts, and a link to the old thread if you need it.

https://www.depressionforums.org/forums/topic/146851-whats-on-your-mind-right-now-2/?page=26

 

5 minutes ago, sober4life said:

I wish this would be over soon.  I hate life!

 

 

6 hours ago, Rattler6 said:

Not sure what to do next today.  Not wanting to go back to work on Monday but I have financial goals, things I want to do and a few things I want to do.

 

 

11 hours ago, babyxgothxx said:

Same 

 

12 hours ago, evalynn said:

I hate when my eye won't stop watering. It's so irritating, physically and mentally. It also scares me, because that's how my inexplicable week of bell palsy started in high school. 

 

 

 

 

 

[sober4life 12,160]

My dog loves my niece.  She's a 10 year old version of mom.  It makes me cry.

[Floor2017 2,608]

11 minutes ago, sober4life said:

My dog loves my niece.  She's a 10 year old version of mom.  It makes me cry.

I do understand my friend but it sure is good to see a love one in another family

member that brings back precious memories. 

[samadhiSheol 5,339]

Tomorrow’s mri- scan. I hate confined, constricted spaces (read: I am claustrophobic), but it is a necessary step to figure out what’s going on in my chronic effed up, pain ridden wrist/arm.

I am also thinking of the bother of going to work after the scan. It will take me longer to get there. I dislike my job and I am utterly bored with it. I can’t find anything else and with all this chronic pain- and what-not -crappery in my life, also being the age I am,  I feel completely defeated. Why even bother anymore? No reason I guess. I seem to have inherited all the bad genes  and characteristics of both sides of my respective family lines. If I’m glad for one thing it’s that I don’t have kids to pass on all of these bad genes and bad blood I have picked up during my dissatisfactory and disappointing failure of a life. 

[APFSDS 597]

Paid my bills and stuff. But I keep thinking what if I didn't. Did I? Or didn't I? I remember paying them, but are the memories real?

Same damn thing about the gas valves, apartment keys...

Did I say something insulting? Maybe there's a hidden f**k somewhere.

That's how I roll. Call the Guards!

[Floor2017 2,608]

17 hours ago, samadhiSheol said:

Tomorrow’s mri- scan. I hate confined, constricted spaces (read: I am claustrophobic), but it is a necessary step to figure out what’s going on in my chronic effed up, pain ridden wrist/arm.

I am also thinking of the bother of going to work after the scan. It will take me longer to get there. I dislike my job and I am utterly bored with it. I can’t find anything else and with all this chronic pain- and what-not -crappery in my life, also being the age I am,  I feel completely defeated. Why even bother anymore? No reason I guess. I seem to have inherited all the bad genes  and characteristics of both sides of my respective family lines. If I’m glad for one thing it’s that I don’t have kids to pass on all of these bad genes and bad blood I have picked up during my dissatisfactory and disappointing failure of a life. 

I feel you my friend and I can relate to your struggles

[samadhiSheol 5,339]

18 minutes ago, Floor2017 said:

I feel you my friend and I can relate to your struggles

Muchos thanks Floor. 

Funnily enough claustrophobia wasn't an issue today. It was the impossible postion I had to be. Haha

I was in the so-called "superman position. As I had my shoulder decalsified a few weeks ago and only recently have gained any resemblance of mobility in the shoulder area, it was more the position I was in that was the bxxxh of it.

It went well though and the nurse commented how still I was throughout the procedure. Waiting for the orthopedist's evaluation next. I know there is a ganglion cyst somewhere within the wrist which is causing the pain in my wrist.

So still no boxing as in heavy bags or pad work and I have to modify any workouts. But I intend to shadow kickbox the crap out of my nihilst stance of today 

Edited November 20, 2018 by samadhiSheol

[iWantRope 182]

Where the ******* **** am I supposed to find tutorials for cyber-security products?!?!

[Floor2017 2,608]

1 hour ago, samadhiSheol said:

Muchos thanks Floor. 

Funnily enough claustrophobia wasn't an issue today. It was the impossible postion I had to be. Haha

I was in the so-called "superman position. As I had my shoulder decalsified a few weeks ago and only recently have gained any resemblance of mobility in the shoulder area, it was more the position I was in that was the bxxxh of it.

It went well though and the nurse commented how still I was throughout the procedure. Waiting for the orthopedist's evaluation next. I know there is a ganglion cyst somewhere within the wrist which is causing the pain in my wrist.

So still no boxing as in heavy bags or pad work and I have to modify any workouts. But I intend to shadow kickbox the crap out of my nihilst stance of today 

ok superman just don't over do it

[samadhiSheol 5,339]

2 hours ago, Floor2017 said:

ok superman just don't over do it

Haha I wish..

[Floor2017 2,608]

I WANT TO GO HOME! 

[samadhiSheol 5,339]

1 minute ago, Floor2017 said:

I WANT TO GO HOME! 

So where are you, Floor?

[samadhiSheol 5,339]

Our kitty’s  paws and claws as she is kneading my thigh. 

Edited November 20, 2018 by samadhiSheol

[Floor2017 2,608]

6 minutes ago, samadhiSheol said:

So where are you, Floor?

At Work my friend

[samadhiSheol 5,339]

33 minutes ago, Floor2017 said:

At Work my friend

Haha penny dropped. 

Have a nice day. Floor.  You’ll get home soon enough.

[Floor2017 2,608]

1 minute ago, samadhiSheol said:

Haha penny dropped. 

Have a nice day. Floor.  You’ll get home soon enough.

You know how to make a fellow smile. 

[evalynn 11,402]

I wish I could take a nap right now.

[Floor2017 2,608]

I'm hungry and I'm ready to eat.  

[Epictetus 13,451]

Now that I'm retired, I don't usually 'seize the day.' Most of the time,   I just poked it with a stick.

[APFSDS 597]

A year ago I ordered two sparring swords.
They were in the "coming soon" category.
 
 

Spoiler

I should write to them and cancel the order.

 

[Floor2017 2,608]

17 minutes ago, APFSDS said:

A year ago I ordered two sparring swords.
They were in the "coming soon" category.
 
 

  Hide contents

I should write to them and cancel the order.

 

NFL football 

[samadhiSheol 5,339]

I turned out to be the loser they saw in me when I was bullied at 14-16. I have no reason to not think I am a failure. I was/am crap at everything I did/do. The only thing different from the me then and now is I hate myself even more and I know hope never existed in the first place.

 

Edited November 28, 2018 by samadhiSheol

[Natasha1 11,322]

Trust issues. 

[Floor2017 2,608]

1 hour ago, Natasha1 said:

Trust issues. 

Trusting in something or someone can be hard to do sometimes especially if you have been hurt from it before 

[evalynn 11,402]

My back hurts. I have to rearrange my body and the pillows underneath me. It seems to hurt more lately, maybe I knew a new firm pillow to support it. Also I feel very tired and it's coldish today so I don't want to leave these blankets if I don't have to.