BeyondWeary Posted November 16, 2018 Share Posted November 16, 2018 I'm so glad it's Friday. This job wares me out. Luckily next week is a short week and I get to get away for 5 days! 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Floor2017 Posted November 16, 2018 Share Posted November 16, 2018 5 hours ago, ladysmurf said: MISERABLE! Days go by, and nothing changes. I feel useless and wish this nightmare would end. I never had a lot of friends due to my illness but the very few I had even the last one recently told me he and his wife are expecting twins. I admit I was happy for him and his wife, but I was also a bit jealous that my life stinks. This illness has not allowed me to live or do anything. For people like myself who can't get a break, or any type of relief from anything that the medical world has suggested/offered, you lose hope and you don't want to go on. I feel your pain my friend but people like us must continue on so that others that follow us know that we were here and we fought a good fight and they to can win 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hertz Posted November 16, 2018 Share Posted November 16, 2018 Irritable. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
velvetpuddles Posted November 17, 2018 Share Posted November 17, 2018 My week off work is coming to a close, sadly. Thankfully next week is short. Otherwise, frustrations abound with my boyfriend's ex-wife and with cash flow. At least my time off was relatively peaceful. Even got our first blanket of snow (and ice, but that's a whole other matter ). 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sober4life Posted November 17, 2018 Share Posted November 17, 2018 5 hours ago, JD4010 said: Well, good...happy she can still speak for herself. It is such a rough time when a parent is ailing. Mine are gone but it was stressful while they were approaching the end. I didn't visit them nearly enough. Of course, my ex hated them so that added another layer of complexity. I know she has to make her own decision. I'm so hard on myself over all of this because I'm supposed to save her and protect her. I love her more than I'm able to say with words. It's the hardest thing I have ever had to say there is nothing more I can do. She's too sick for me to save her anymore. It's devastating to me. She is my life force. She's the reason I go on every day. I have to find a way to go on without her. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cherryapplez2020 Posted November 17, 2018 Share Posted November 17, 2018 Don’t feel not a dang thing! Is that a bad thing?? 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rattler6 Posted November 17, 2018 Share Posted November 17, 2018 2 hours ago, Devlinkyla said: Don’t feel not a dang thing! Is that a bad thing?? It is not. I hope that you also have a good degree of clarity. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cherryapplez2020 Posted November 17, 2018 Share Posted November 17, 2018 17 minutes ago, Rattler6 said: It is not. I hope that you also have a good degree of clarity. I don’t think I do Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
salparadise6132 Posted November 17, 2018 Share Posted November 17, 2018 8 hours ago, sober4life said: I know it's not true. I'm just hurting very badly right now. I have a self destructive brain that seems to want to make sure I hurt as much as possible. Mom is at peace for the first time in 9 months. She's very calm and happy. Her family is amazing right now. This is the hardest time of my life. I will find my way through this somehow. I always do. I have to live the rest of my life in a way that would make mom proud. It's the only I can survive this. If there is a heaven when I die I want to deserve to be in her amazing presence. That response is the real you, Sober. The real truth. And I know this, what you are going through is so hard - beyond words hard!!!! But what you wrote, here, is reality. Please try to remember that. What an amazing daughter you have been for your mom!!!! 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hertz Posted November 17, 2018 Share Posted November 17, 2018 Angry. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lady Mozzer Posted November 17, 2018 Share Posted November 17, 2018 Sad and lonely right now. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sober4life Posted November 17, 2018 Share Posted November 17, 2018 I'm physically sick all the time. I can't eat or sleep or focus. I feel like I'm in a dream state most of the time. It's a nightmare. I have family staying with me helping me stay sane through everything. If they weren't here I might not be here. I was going to very dark places and I was getting to the point where I was scared and needed someone to stay with me. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Floor2017 Posted November 17, 2018 Share Posted November 17, 2018 45 minutes ago, sober4life said: I'm physically sick all the time. I can't eat or sleep or focus. I feel like I'm in a dream state most of the time. It's a nightmare. I have family staying with me helping me stay sane through everything. If they weren't here I might not be here. I was going to very dark places and I was getting to the point where I was scared and needed someone to stay with me. At some point in our lives we all need somebody to help watch after us. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Floor2017 Posted November 17, 2018 Share Posted November 17, 2018 I woke up this morning feeling really good after a much needed good night sleep. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
desperateloser Posted November 17, 2018 Share Posted November 17, 2018 (edited) I've been researching Buddhism lately, and reincarnation has become a subject of my interest. As far as I can see, we don't have to be a human in our next life according to buddhism. Buddhism is very close to me. The fact that when there is doubt and refuses a word, there is no situation like losing religion. People's connection of all existence with each other, good and bad behavior under the name of karma directly without a direct influence in the future of life without a god and the lives of people, in this religion the closest thing to a Buddha that has the closest thing to me is a few features. But the fact that everyone who has come up to it in bad terms has caused this to happen, as a result of the previous quarters, has created the impression that I was able to justify the injustices of a part of the standard in the world. However, reincarnation, obvious Buddhism is something that will prove to be true or wrong. If you have a chance to remember many people's previous lives, if I have the opportunity to remember an old life, I would like to say that I would like to do this in human beings, animals, ghosts, heaven, semi-heaven or hell, clear. I'm clearly writing, the possibility of reincarnation is more attractive to me than to live with the Houries in heaven. Edited November 17, 2018 by desperateloser 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
desperateloser Posted November 17, 2018 Share Posted November 17, 2018 (edited) 2 minutes ago, desperateloser said: edit Edited November 17, 2018 by desperateloser Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nightjar Posted November 17, 2018 Share Posted November 17, 2018 1 hour ago, sober4life said: I'm physically sick all the time. I can't eat or sleep or focus. I feel like I'm in a dream state most of the time. It's a nightmare. I have family staying with me helping me stay sane through everything. If they weren't here I might not be here. I was going to very dark places and I was getting to the point where I was scared and needed someone to stay with me. Ah, that's good. I'm glad you have someone there with you sober. Let them take care of you and put your feet up! 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RiverLight Posted November 17, 2018 Share Posted November 17, 2018 WOW. I am thrilled!!!! I got my client to rank #1 on Google for their primary search term!!! I am SO happy. I have a LOT of doubts about my abilities at work, and then I succeed at something, and I realize that I actually know what I am doing. SO, hoooorayyyy!!!!! I am giving myself a pat on the back, which I never do, or not enough. 8 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
babyxgothxx Posted November 17, 2018 Share Posted November 17, 2018 Nobody cares but... Worst year ever... Hope next year would be better haha 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nightjar Posted November 17, 2018 Share Posted November 17, 2018 3 minutes ago, babyxgothxx said: Nobody cares but... Worst year ever... Hope next year would be better haha Sometimes the only way is up!stay strong babygothxx 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ladysmurf Posted November 17, 2018 Share Posted November 17, 2018 16 hours ago, Floor2017 said: I feel your pain my friend but people like us must continue on so that others that follow us know that we were here and we fought a good fight and they to can win Go on for what? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Floor2017 Posted November 17, 2018 Share Posted November 17, 2018 18 minutes ago, ladysmurf said: Go on for what? We have purpose in this life even though it might cause us some discomfort we matter.to the people around us. I have affected hundreds or perhaps thousands of people in my life time. Even though I have problems of my own my life matters to so many people. For example on my job people don't want me to take days off from work because I bring a pleasant spirit and a caring compassionate spirit into a place where people are so worried of their love ones not making it out of critical care. So, yes you matters and your life is affecting someone even though you do not know it. Even on this forum we look forward to hearing from you because it lets all of us know that you are still fighting with each of us as we try to get through this day so that we might be able to face another one tomorrow. 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
babyxgothxx Posted November 17, 2018 Share Posted November 17, 2018 (edited) 1 hour ago, jeremiah said: Sometimes the only way is up!stay strong babygothxx Thanks, you too Edited November 17, 2018 by babyxgothxx 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rattler6 Posted November 17, 2018 Share Posted November 17, 2018 Right now okay. Post workout and cleaning. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cherryapplez2020 Posted November 17, 2018 Share Posted November 17, 2018 5 hours ago, babyxgothxx said: Nobody cares but... Worst year ever... Hope next year would be better haha Oh I agree hopefully Next year is a lot better 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts