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I can totally relate.  When my depression is at it’s worst, i struggle with anhedonia.  Just don’t care about anything and I am nearly emotionless.  All I want to do is escape the world by sleeping.  I’m feeling a bit better now , thankfully, but I still retreat to sleep on down days.

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I’m on Rexulti and Fetzima with Clonazepam for my anxiety. I did a round of ketamine infusions that helped lift me out of being suicidal but they are really expensive and you need to keep going back for more if things go downhill.  Exercise can really help more than the meds but I’ll be honest: I don’t do near enough of it.  After years of laying in bed, I’ve put on weight that I’d like to take  off.

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Yes I’ve been researching ketamine but it is way out of my reach.  I’m very weak physically as well from years of sleeping. Exercise is just not possible. I hate this. But no way out for me. Been on every med and combo from A to ZEE.

Death must be better

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If you’re suicidal, please call a hotline in your area.  I’ve been trapped in suicidal thinking and I know how it seems so logical at that awful moment, but it’s just a moment.  It passes and you realize that it would devastate your family and your friends, not to mention the fact that things can get better.   It means living day to day and trying to find little things to do to occupy your mind.  Please try doing even the smallest amount of exercise.  Walk around the block as slowly as you need to and build from there.  You can’t go from being a bed zombie to a runner overnight.  You are going to be weak at first but you can get stronger.  I urge you to talk to a professional if you can and if not try someone you know who might be at least a little bit sympathetic.  Stay with us.

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It’s hard to get out of bed for anything when you’re severely depressed.  I completely understand.  Please make it to the psych appointments and just be as honest as you can about where your head is at and listen to what your doctor recommends. I wish you the best and keep in touch on the forums.

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