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Groucho4u

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So lately I’ve been a mess. I am on Wellbutrin for MDD. In the past I have dealt with severe anxiety and now I’m having panic attacks. My pdoc has tried adding on Zoloft which gave me intollerable side effects and Suicidal thoughts. So we stopped that....

Then we tried adding Deplin at 7.5mg which worked amazing. At day 3 of taking it I had no more anxiety or depression. My sleep returned to normal. This lasted about 10 weeks and then... it just stopped working. I began having an impending sense of doom upon waking up. My panic attacks became more frequent. I didn’t want to go to my college classes, but I forced myself. My pdoc tried upping my Deplin to 15mg and all this did was make my anxiety much worse. So my pdoc cut my dose back to 7.5mg I tried Valarian root,  with little effect. So I tried Benadryl which helped a little but make me so drowsy I could barely 

Fast forward to two weeks ago. After constantly reaching out to my pdoc that I was feeling worse and worse and seeing a therapist twice a week to work on mindfulness nothing was really helping. It was like 24/7 panic. I tired as hard as I could to apply the mindfulness exercises, deep breathing, and so on... and it barely helped. 

Last week I reached out again to my Pdoc saying I felt very panicky and I hadn’t slept in 3 days because of the anxiety... and his reply was “just take Benadryl for sleep and Benadryl for anxiety.” So basically constantly medicate myself with Benadryl until I can graduate college in May? 

My resting heart rate was up to 120BPM, I felt a constant sense of impending doom, and then felt like I was gonna die. After not sleeping for 4 days I started getting a sense of Akathisia, depersonalization, and I became conscious of my blinking. My heart was constantly going into bad palpitations.

I made an appointment with my family doctor who worked me in. I felt like a nervous wreck. She took one look at me and prescribed low dose Klonopin. She just about begged me to take it, and wrote the script for 0.5mg 3 times a day for 10 days. if I got dependent on it she agreed she would slowly taper me off with a switch over to Valium and then slowly, slowly taper the Valium. 

The klonopin sat on my shelf for several days. I was mortified to take it because everything I read online said that benzos were pure and absolute soul destroying, hell on earth to get off of. 

I somehow made it to my next therapist appointment. I was literally beside myself. The anxiety was crippling. We both agreed that since I had tried all of the CBT techniques and mindfulness and nothing was working I needed a chemical intervention. I was devastated. 

I cryied my eyes out on the way home, I called my wife and said I was having a bad meltdown. I fumbled my way through my house, still crying my eyes out, riddled with anxiety, conscious of my blinking... and I opened the Klonopin bottle in shear dread. I took my first dose layed down in bed and just waited.... within 1 hour the anxiety had lifted, I didn’t get a high or loopy, I just felt.... normal and for the first time in what seemed like several weeks I gotta full nights rest. I’ve been taking The Klonopin now for a week and it has done a good job of keeping the sense of impending doom, blinking obsession, and palpitations under control, I feel stable and able to think somewhat clearly... but now I’m scared to get off The Klonopin. My pdoc and family doc agree and want to try me on Celexa, but my fear is that from everything I’ve read online it seems like I’m going to have to go through hell to get off of the Klonopin, I’m going to be bedridden, and wheelchair bound for months...

what should I do? Sorry for the long post

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1 hour ago, Groucho4u said:

So lately I’ve been a mess. I am on Wellbutrin for MDD. In the past I have dealt with severe anxiety and now I’m having panic attacks. My pdoc has tried adding on Zoloft which gave me intollerable side effects and Suicidal thoughts. So we stopped that....

Then we tried adding Deplin at 7.5mg which worked amazing. At day 3 of taking it I had no more anxiety or depression. My sleep returned to normal. This lasted about 10 weeks and then... it just stopped working. I began having an impending sense of doom upon waking up. My panic attacks became more frequent. I didn’t want to go to my college classes, but I forced myself. My pdoc tried upping my Deplin to 15mg and all this did was make my anxiety much worse. So my pdoc cut my dose back to 7.5mg I tried Valarian root,  with little effect. So I tried Benadryl which helped a little but make me so drowsy I could barely 

Fast forward to two weeks ago. After constantly reaching out to my pdoc that I was feeling worse and worse and seeing a therapist twice a week to work on mindfulness nothing was really helping. It was like 24/7 panic. I tired as hard as I could to apply the mindfulness exercises, deep breathing, and so on... and it barely helped. 

Last week I reached out again to my Pdoc saying I felt very panicky and I hadn’t slept in 3 days because of the anxiety... and his reply was “just take Benadryl for sleep and Benadryl for anxiety.” So basically constantly medicate myself with Benadryl until I can graduate college in May? 

My resting heart rate was up to 120BPM, I felt a constant sense of impending doom, and then felt like I was gonna die. After not sleeping for 4 days I started getting a sense of Akathisia, depersonalization, and I became conscious of my blinking. My heart was constantly going into bad palpitations.

I made an appointment with my family doctor who worked me in. I felt like a nervous wreck. She took one look at me and prescribed low dose Klonopin. She just about begged me to take it, and wrote the script for 0.5mg 3 times a day for 10 days. if I got dependent on it she agreed she would slowly taper me off with a switch over to Valium and then slowly, slowly taper the Valium. 

The klonopin sat on my shelf for several days. I was mortified to take it because everything I read online said that benzos were pure and absolute soul destroying, hell on earth to get off of. 

I somehow made it to my next therapist appointment. I was literally beside myself. The anxiety was crippling. We both agreed that since I had tried all of the CBT techniques and mindfulness and nothing was working I needed a chemical intervention. I was devastated. 

I cryied my eyes out on the way home, I called my wife and said I was having a bad meltdown. I fumbled my way through my house, still crying my eyes out, riddled with anxiety, conscious of my blinking... and I opened the Klonopin bottle in shear dread. I took my first dose layed down in bed and just waited.... within 1 hour the anxiety had lifted, I didn’t get a high or loopy, I just felt.... normal and for the first time in what seemed like several weeks I gotta full nights rest. I’ve been taking The Klonopin now for a week and it has done a good job of keeping the sense of impending doom, blinking obsession, and palpitations under control, I feel stable and able to think somewhat clearly... but now I’m scared to get off The Klonopin. My pdoc and family doc agree and want to try me on Celexa, but my fear is that from everything I’ve read online it seems like I’m going to have to go through hell to get off of the Klonopin, I’m going to be bedridden, and wheelchair bound for months...

what should I do? Sorry for the long post

You should try to listen to your doctors and quit doing all this research on your

medications because it can drive you crazy and raise your anxiety level reading

about all of the side effects.  The doctors are trained professionals and they are

doing their best to find what best works for you.  Remember one thing medicine

affect each person body differently and just because it affects one person one way

it does not mean that it is going to affect you the same way.  I wish you nothing

but the best my friend as you move forward with your treatment plan. 

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9 hours ago, Groucho4u said:

So lately I’ve been a mess. I am on Wellbutrin for MDD. In the past I have dealt with severe anxiety and now I’m having panic attacks. My pdoc has tried adding on Zoloft which gave me intollerable side effects and Suicidal thoughts. So we stopped that....

Then we tried adding Deplin at 7.5mg which worked amazing. At day 3 of taking it I had no more anxiety or depression. My sleep returned to normal. This lasted about 10 weeks and then... it just stopped working. I began having an impending sense of doom upon waking up. My panic attacks became more frequent. I didn’t want to go to my college classes, but I forced myself. My pdoc tried upping my Deplin to 15mg and all this did was make my anxiety much worse. So my pdoc cut my dose back to 7.5mg I tried Valarian root,  with little effect. So I tried Benadryl which helped a little but make me so drowsy I could barely 

Fast forward to two weeks ago. After constantly reaching out to my pdoc that I was feeling worse and worse and seeing a therapist twice a week to work on mindfulness nothing was really helping. It was like 24/7 panic. I tired as hard as I could to apply the mindfulness exercises, deep breathing, and so on... and it barely helped. 

Last week I reached out again to my Pdoc saying I felt very panicky and I hadn’t slept in 3 days because of the anxiety... and his reply was “just take Benadryl for sleep and Benadryl for anxiety.” So basically constantly medicate myself with Benadryl until I can graduate college in May? 

My resting heart rate was up to 120BPM, I felt a constant sense of impending doom, and then felt like I was gonna die. After not sleeping for 4 days I started getting a sense of Akathisia, depersonalization, and I became conscious of my blinking. My heart was constantly going into bad palpitations.

I made an appointment with my family doctor who worked me in. I felt like a nervous wreck. She took one look at me and prescribed low dose Klonopin. She just about begged me to take it, and wrote the script for 0.5mg 3 times a day for 10 days. if I got dependent on it she agreed she would slowly taper me off with a switch over to Valium and then slowly, slowly taper the Valium. 

The klonopin sat on my shelf for several days. I was mortified to take it because everything I read online said that benzos were pure and absolute soul destroying, hell on earth to get off of. 

I somehow made it to my next therapist appointment. I was literally beside myself. The anxiety was crippling. We both agreed that since I had tried all of the CBT techniques and mindfulness and nothing was working I needed a chemical intervention. I was devastated. 

I cryied my eyes out on the way home, I called my wife and said I was having a bad meltdown. I fumbled my way through my house, still crying my eyes out, riddled with anxiety, conscious of my blinking... and I opened the Klonopin bottle in shear dread. I took my first dose layed down in bed and just waited.... within 1 hour the anxiety had lifted, I didn’t get a high or loopy, I just felt.... normal and for the first time in what seemed like several weeks I gotta full nights rest. I’ve been taking The Klonopin now for a week and it has done a good job of keeping the sense of impending doom, blinking obsession, and palpitations under control, I feel stable and able to think somewhat clearly... but now I’m scared to get off The Klonopin. My pdoc and family doc agree and want to try me on Celexa, but my fear is that from everything I’ve read online it seems like I’m going to have to go through hell to get off of the Klonopin, I’m going to be bedridden, and wheelchair bound for months...

what should I do? Sorry for the long post

 

I would recommend trying cardio exercise, since that has been proven to lower anxiety.  Also, have you looked into herbal suppliments?  From my understanding, not getting enough magnesium and potassium can cause excessive stress and high blood pressure, so that may be contributing to your symptoms.  Personally, I am against using perscription antidepressants, athough that is a question for you and your doctors.

I hope things get better for you soon!

- Wizardwarrior

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Hi and welcome. Sorry to hear you are suffering I hope you and your doctors continue to search for an effective treatment protocol for your symptoms.

I know that finding the right medications in the right combination can be difficult, its not nearly as basic as treating common physical illnesses. Sounds like you needed the Klonopin to restore basic functionality and it was effective. 

This doesn't mean that you and Klonopin are together for life. There is no reason to believe you've exhausted all other possibilities.

I advise you to continue to advocate for yourself by making a few things clear to your doctor. What treatment is acceptable to you, what mental illness symptoms and drug effects are tolerable, what degree of functionality you can live with. Inform your doctor you can be patient with yourself and the process so long as your concerns are being addressed, in particular what they can do for you should you experience discontinuation effects. Enlist help from your wife on occasions when symptoms or side effects make it just too difficult to advocate by yourself.

Most importantly, cultivate a little compassion for yourself because it is so hard to live with this illness and every one of us needs some help to fight it. We are here for you when you need encouragement and inspiration.

 

 

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Hello Groucho,

There is a rich history of palliative drugs and drug treatments developed to help people who suffer.  The contemporary social climate discourages treatment and/or information about these drugs in the name of sanctimony, ignorance, and yes, even as a matter of legitimately considered personal choice. Trust your family doctor.  Addiction will not likely "sneak up" on you if you and your doctor are paying attention.  Take advantage of respected regimens and respectable drugs designed to alleviate your symptoms.  I'm no doctor buy have used benzodiazepines on and off for twenty years with no reported or recorded ill effects. 

Feel Better,

Bulgakov

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