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Why I know I will always feel lonely


Logan Sims

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I'm more mature than everyone my age. I'm still a kid so I don't have adult friends. There are things about myself that I can't tell anybody because I know I'll be a creep if I tell them. Most people find it easier to hate me than even come over and try to meet me. Just because I look like crap and look depressed 24/7 doesn't mean I am a bad person. It means I hate my life. I always feel alone regardless. I doubt I belong anywhere on this planet or in this universe in general if there were some other livable planet discovered. I'm a depressed loser and I need to give it up. "With Liberty and Justice for all" I am not free and I don't get any justice.

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3 minutes ago, Logan Sims said:

I'm more mature than everyone my age. I'm still a kid so I don't have adult friends. There are things about myself that I can't tell anybody because I know I'll be a creep if I tell them. Most people find it easier to hate me than even come over and try to meet me. Just because I look like crap and look depressed 24/7 doesn't mean I am a bad person. It means I hate my life. I always feel alone regardless. I doubt I belong anywhere on this planet or in this universe in general if there were some other livable planet discovered. I'm a depressed loser and I need to give it up. "With Liberty and Justice for all" I am not free and I don't get any justice.

I'm so sorry to hear this my friend and we are hear for you, please don't

hesitate to keep us inform how things are going for you.  It is sad that

sometimes kids just don't understand the importance of being nice to

one another.  Hang in there my friend and hopefully things will begin

to change for you real soon.

 

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You are certainly not the only person who feels ALIENATED.

Sure Earthlings are difficult to say the least.

Old Man Depression is telling you some whopping lies about yourself.

Part of being mature is refusing to believe the God-awful lies from Old Man Depression.

Keep posting.

Your posts help us and maybe just maybe our posts will help you.

Oscar

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Sorry to hear you're struggling right now. Each of is I'm his/her own way though we've all experienced the isolation you've described, the feelings of helplessness, hopelessness and powerlessness to do a thing about it.

While it's hard to see through the smog of feelings, try to keep in mind that you are not your feelings, feeling like a loser doesnt mean you are. Challenge some of those negative thoughts, interrogate them. You may find that the evidence doesn't support the conclusion. For example,

28 minutes ago, Logan Sims said:

I doubt I belong anywhere on this planet or in this universe in general

You do belong here. Depression will try and minimize that significance of that but that's exactly what depression does to anything that's positive about us. That's why I come here. I need to read posts like yours so I'll have evidence it's not just me. I need to read replies to remember it's the disease distorting how I think and feel. Helps to have a community who gets it, don't you think?

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7 minutes ago, Oscar K said:

You are certainly not the only person who feels ALIENATED.

Sure Earthlings are difficult to say the least.

Old Man Depression is telling you some whopping lies about yourself.

Part of being mature is refusing to believe the God-awful lies from Old Man Depression.

Keep posting.

Your posts help us and maybe just maybe our posts will help you.

Oscar

I don't know if anything will help. I'm so broken.

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Hi Logan,

    I'm so sorry that you are having such a awful time !  Your post brings back so many memories of my own youth.   Loneliness can be really brutal.

    In my eyes, you are a hero.  People from all over the world read your posts here on the Forums, both members and non-members.  Your posts help me and many others to keep going in spite of our own personal anguish and pain.  They help us keep going by shattering the feeling of isolation we feel.

    Many people have told me that reading posts here, like the ones you write, have literally saved their lives when they were on the very edge.  That is why you are a hero. 

    Although you are young you have already achieved one of the greatest, if not the greatest thing a human being can achieve: saving lives.  In my eyes, that makes you a person of greatness and high moral stature.  And I don't believe I am alone in what I see in you.

    I have probably already shared this with you before, but there is an old saying that goes:  "Whoever helps to save a single life, it is as if that person had saved the entire world."  You are such a person, Logan.  

    I wish I knew how to help you as you have helped me and others here on the Forums, but I lack the wisdom. 

   It is awful that you are suffering and I wish I knew how to relieve it.  But you are more than your suffering and you a great person in the highest sense of "great." 

   Although I am an old man, it is an honor and privilege to have met you through your writings here.  I wish I knew what else to say.  People like you are so rare.  It is so good that exist in this universe.  You raise the whole universe to a higher level through your life! ! !

- epictetus 

    

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When broken bones and hearts heal they almost invariably are stronger.

Getting through this miserable chapter of your life will make you stronger and wiser.

Declare a tiny, temporary truce with yourself and a peace treaty will surely follow.

Oscar

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How are you defining the word "mature"? I will say that as someone who thought she was very mature for her age starting back when I was in elementary (and took pride in it), at some point in adulthood I ended up emotionally stunted compared to my peers.

You need to be careful with that line of thinking because your peers may sense you are "looking down" on them in that way and be put off. Try and have compassion for your classmates, even if they don't show it back. Everyone is fighting their own battle every day, even those with a cheery facade.

For example, I had an "airhead ditz" classmate in high school who was the cheeriest pathological liar. She lied about everything! People mocked her for it behind her back, but she was certainly more popular than me. I went to her house for a science project and her whole family was so verbally abusive to her (even her elementary-aged brother!), and they had no issue being like that to her in front of me (a stranger). It made me so sad for her, imagining how life was when there was no one else around.

If there is an adult you trust at least somewhat, I hope you can talk to them. I used to talk to my school counselor a lot - not just about my feelings and career goals, but just chit-chat that I couldn't (or didn't feel I could) have with peers.

Hindsight is 20/20. You are so young and full of potential (hokey, I know, but I wish I had realized it when I was your age). I wish I had pushed myself more. Not for my parents, not as some cog in the machine - I really wish I had tried more for myself. The world is so much bigger than high school.

I know you hate school, but doing things you don't like doing is a trait I wish I had practiced when I was younger (obviously there are limits, like if you are being bullied). As I've become older and continually avoided things that make me uncomfortable, I realize how much I've lost in developing resilience, opening new doors, discovering things about myself. You don't want to be me: in your thirties and scared to do the simplest things.

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10 minutes ago, Kogent5 said:

How are you defining the word "mature"? I will say that as someone who thought she was very mature for her age starting back when I was in elementary (and took pride in it), at some point in adulthood I ended up emotionally stunted compared to my peers.

You need to be careful with that line of thinking because your peers may sense you are "looking down" on them in that way and be put off. Try and have compassion for your classmates, even if they don't show it back. Everyone is fighting their own battle every day, even those with a cheery facade.

For example, I had an "airhead ditz" classmate in high school who was the cheeriest pathological liar. She lied about everything! People mocked her for it behind her back, but she was certainly more popular than me. I went to her house for a science project and her whole family was so verbally abusive to her (even her elementary-aged brother!), and they had no issue being like that to her in front of me (a stranger). It made me so sad for her, imagining how life was when there was no one else around.

If there is an adult you trust at least somewhat, I hope you can talk to them. I used to talk to my school counselor a lot - not just about my feelings and career goals, but just chit-chat that I couldn't (or didn't feel I could) have with peers.

Hindsight is 20/20. You are so young and full of potential (hokey, I know, but I wish I had realized it when I was your age). I wish I had pushed myself more. Not for my parents, not as some cog in the machine - I really wish I had tried more for myself. The world is so much bigger than high school.

I know you hate school, but doing things you don't like doing is a trait I wish I had practiced when I was younger (obviously there are limits, like if you are being bullied). As I've become older and continually avoided things that make me uncomfortable, I realize how much I've lost in developing resilience, opening new doors, discovering things about myself. You don't want to be me: in your thirties and scared to do the simplest things.

Maturity can be something totally different for each individual.  What is mature

for one person might not be mature for another because everybody have different

abilities and talents. 

Edited by Floor2017
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The culture explosions at your age are perfectly normal. You think everyone is uncultured, you're the perfect. Everyone speaks the same subject, you want to talk about different topics, nobody understands. He is uncultivated, and everyone who does not understand you is cultured. This symptom is common in adolescents. Don't worry.

But I don't think you ever thought about that." If I don't work I will be in the same place with these "uncultured" people. "You just need to fulfill the tasks given now.

As for the problem; No one likes to go to school, no one wants to go to school. He considers the lessons he cannot do as unnecessary. For them the world revolves around them. All courses, life schemes should be as they wish. Who wants to be with people without culture?

It is assumed that this education and training life destroys his future plans. But when he gets home, he won't let your ass out of the computer chair. He doesn't study. Then he rebel. "Why am I in the same school with these idiots?" "These lessons are unnecessary"


If you want to draw your way. Work, work, work.

Edited by desperateloser
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On 11/3/2018 at 1:11 PM, Kogent5 said:

How are you defining the word "mature"? I will say that as someone who thought she was very mature for her age starting back when I was in elementary (and took pride in it), at some point in adulthood I ended up emotionally stunted compared to my peers.

You need to be careful with that line of thinking because your peers may sense you are "looking down" on them in that way and be put off. Try and have compassion for your classmates, even if they don't show it back. Everyone is fighting their own battle every day, even those with a cheery facade.

For example, I had an "airhead ditz" classmate in high school who was the cheeriest pathological liar. She lied about everything! People mocked her for it behind her back, but she was certainly more popular than me. I went to her house for a science project and her whole family was so verbally abusive to her (even her elementary-aged brother!), and they had no issue being like that to her in front of me (a stranger). It made me so sad for her, imagining how life was when there was no one else around.

If there is an adult you trust at least somewhat, I hope you can talk to them. I used to talk to my school counselor a lot - not just about my feelings and career goals, but just chit-chat that I couldn't (or didn't feel I could) have with peers.

Hindsight is 20/20. You are so young and full of potential (hokey, I know, but I wish I had realized it when I was your age). I wish I had pushed myself more. Not for my parents, not as some cog in the machine - I really wish I had tried more for myself. The world is so much bigger than high school.

I know you hate school, but doing things you don't like doing is a trait I wish I had practiced when I was younger (obviously there are limits, like if you are being bullied). As I've become older and continually avoided things that make me uncomfortable, I realize how much I've lost in developing resilience, opening new doors, discovering things about myself. You don't want to be me: in your thirties and scared to do the simplest things.

When I say I'm more mature, I say it for a reason. It feels like you guys are protecting the people at school who hate me and that hurts. I don't look down on them. If anything I put myself down like crazy. It's rare for me to even give myself the grace to call myself mature. These people at my school ignore every word I say to them. It makes me feel alone and that I'm better off dead. Maybe I'm not mature, but neither are the people who ignore me and hate me and leave me feeling better off dead.

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3 hours ago, Logan Sims said:

When I say I'm more mature, I say it for a reason. It feels like you guys are protecting the people at school who hate me and that hurts. I don't look down on them. If anything I put myself down like crazy. It's rare for me to even give myself the grace to call myself mature. These people at my school ignore every word I say to them. It makes me feel alone and that I'm better off dead. Maybe I'm not mature, but neither are the people who ignore me and hate me and leave me feeling better off dead.

I'm sorry if I came across as putting you down or belittling you, I did not mean it in that way. Kids can be massive jerks and you don't owe them your compassion. Empathy and forgiveness is more for yourself than the person who wronged you, I think. It helps make them occupy less space in your head, and it can help you be kinder to yourself (because if they deserve grace, then why wouldn't you, too?).

You mentioned in another thread that a girl had shown interest in you. Even though that didn't work out, it shows that there are traits in you people do like and some people are willing to reach out to you. Heck, the opposite sex wanted nothing to do with me in high school.

Idk if school clubs are an option for you. Outside of school, you can meet friends volunteering, after-school programs/clubs, part-time jobs, you've mentioned apps. I've had good luck with volunteering.

If you feel your school is a lost cause, is there a possibility of  transferring to another one?

I was in university for 4 years and I never made university friends until my last year. It was in a class I was terrified of taking (and after I had bad experiences trying to make friends with people). The class was Japanese and speaking was a large component. Sometimes the best thing for a person having difficulty making friends is being in a situation where people are forced to talk to them.

Sometimes you fail and you fail and you fail...and then you succeed. Don't let your past experiences trick you into thinking that is how it's going to be forever and you're just going to meet the same type of people over and over again.

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11 hours ago, Kogent5 said:

I'm sorry if I came across as putting you down or belittling you, I did not mean it in that way. Kids can be massive jerks and you don't owe them your compassion. Empathy and forgiveness is more for yourself than the person who wronged you, I think. It helps make them occupy less space in your head, and it can help you be kinder to yourself (because if they deserve grace, then why wouldn't you, too?).

You mentioned in another thread that a girl had shown interest in you. Even though that didn't work out, it shows that there are traits in you people do like and some people are willing to reach out to you. Heck, the opposite sex wanted nothing to do with me in high school.

Idk if school clubs are an option for you. Outside of school, you can meet friends volunteering, after-school programs/clubs, part-time jobs, you've mentioned apps. I've had good luck with volunteering.

If you feel your school is a lost cause, is there a possibility of  transferring to another one?

I was in university for 4 years and I never made university friends until my last year. It was in a class I was terrified of taking (and after I had bad experiences trying to make friends with people). The class was Japanese and speaking was a large component. Sometimes the best thing for a person having difficulty making friends is being in a situation where people are forced to talk to them.

Sometimes you fail and you fail and you fail...and then you succeed. Don't let your past experiences trick you into thinking that is how it's going to be forever and you're just going to meet the same type of people over and over again.

Yeah. My school IS a lost cause. But so is my life honestly. Very rarely does anyone my age treat me with respect and I'm just a loner with a #%$^ ton of issues. No matter what I do it's impossible for me to be happy. I've wanted to **** myself for quite a while honestly. Counseling hasn't helped. Going to Wednesday night Youthgroup hasn't helped. My life is a lost cause.

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