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Wish I had an addictive behavior to cope with everything


SailingSoul

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I know of which you speak. Failure should be my middle name. I hate facing life without a hazy buffer.

But as one who has struggled with addictive behaviors for decades, I wouldn't wish any of them on my worst enemy. Especially booze. That sh!t is pure poison. Legal and deadly poison. It definitely wrecked my pathetic life.

Anyway. I hope to make walking an addictive behavior again. I used to walk everywhere, all of the time. My ex and daughter would go to a mall and I'd walk around the outside of it until they were done. I got myself into excellent shape doing that. Now? I'm a lard-ass that can barely walk the length of a football field. My obsession with booze did that. Gah!

I wish you the very best.

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1 minute ago, JD4010 said:

I know of which you speak. Failure should be my middle name. I hate facing life without a hazy buffer.

But as one who has struggled with addictive behaviors for decades, I wouldn't wish any of them on my worst enemy. Especially booze. That sh!t is pure poison. Legal and deadly poison. It definitely wrecked my pathetic life.

Anyway. I hope to make walking an addictive behavior again. I used to walk everywhere, all of the time. My ex and daughter would go to a mall and I'd walk around the outside of it until they were done. I got myself into excellent shape doing that. Now? I'm a lard-ass that can barely walk the length of a football field. My obsession with booze did that. Gah!

I wish you the very best.

Awesome my friend and I also need to make walking an addicted habit

of mind also.

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Addictive things help for a while but you create a prison for yourself.  Your brain thinks it has to have that thing to survive so you pursue it to madness and beyond.  By the time you get control your life looks like it was ripped to shreds by a hurricane.

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Addictions are feeble attempts to fill the vast emptiness we all have.

My feeling is we should put this metaphorical emptiness to use because it won't just disappear.

To me depression is a metaphorical cave.

I have no problem taking temporary shelter but long-term residence is off limits.

I constantly remind myself to keep my back metaphorically turned away from the abyss.

Life is way too short to be lost and trapped in a dark, dangerous cave.

If we can be clever and willing to do the work with metaphorical tools depression can be manageable.

 

 

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Parasites (what I call addictions) is anything that latches onto you and sucks the life out of you. They usually come in the form of drugs, gambling, or pornography! They promise pleasure but grow like a disease and consume more and more of your thoughts, time, and money! They steal away your loyalty not only to yourself but those who love you. We must break any and every form of addiction or it will break us!

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9 hours ago, SheWrites said:

I can relate. I don't drink or take anything stronger than Tylenol, but I often wish I did so I could just go numb for a while. I'm so tired of being worried and anxious and depressed and lonely. I want to not feel.

I understand your pain my friend 

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On 11/2/2018 at 6:54 AM, SailingSoul said:

By that I mean like... 

Cutting or drinking 

 

Bc I hate my life ...being sober just makes me realize how much it sucks.

And being sober through my failures ( through I try so hard)makes me feel so hopeless and lowers my moral.

I don't have words of wisdom that haven't been said here already.  I just wanted to be another person to say "I get it."  

Being numb is so preferable many days.  It's not exactly living, but one desperately desires a reprieve sometimes.

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SailingSoul,

I can relate! 

I have been miserable in my life but I’ve never had an addiction. I have sometimes wished for an addiction, to take my mind off my misery and just feel numb for a while.

But I realize an addiction would only make things worse. Fighting depression is enough of a challenge for me.

ChopinLover

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Most of the time you aren't numb.  It isn't what people think it is.  With drugs and alcohol it becomes an endless struggle to not be sick.  Every day you feel like you have the flu.  You wake up shaking and feeling chills and throwing up but through it all you have to find the strength to maybe be able to get enough to take away the withdrawals and get to "normal" and you become someone that will do anything to feel better.  You will do things you said you would never do.  Here's a way to feel normal stay sober and never start using.

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