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Back to reality


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So I traveled out of town for a job for the past couple weeks. Idealic setting on the Oregon coast with my house a five minute walk to the beach. The work was good, kept a normal schedule which I can't remember the last time I did that. Ate meals and watched games with people, and basically lived a normal life for that short period of time. 

On my way home I had this overwhelming sense of dread and loneliness. I knew the normality was over. Back to my life of faking it at work, getting home at 3am and spending the hours in solitude until the sun comes up and I am finally able to sleep, just so I can do it all over again  the next day. I hate this pain but I know it will eventually pass and my numbness to it all will return. 

I will have this opportunity again, and as much as I liked it, I'm not sure if it's worth the price of everything I am going through now.... 

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Reality certainly bites sometimes doesnt it?  It is always hard when we actually get what we need "mental health wise" then we have to go back to normal life.  I try to find little things...no matter how small...to "look towards" for a moment of reprieve.  It doesnt always work...but I try.

You will settle back into a routine.  Try to find things that work as far as daily self care.  That is a huge challenge I know...but its so needed.

I hope things get better!

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Hi Lorax! I know what you mean with the "highs" of life not seeming to be worth it when the fallout comes. We are in this with you. You can get through this somehow and even though you think things could go on and on, you never know when things might turn a corner.     

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