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It’s been a while since I posted, and I feel what I said and responses are like a broken record. Some of you might be tired reading.

I have gone through therapy for the first time to deal with anxiety and depression. I am deemed as mildly of both. Depending my next session I might be seeing a psychiatrist. I feel am at the bottom in life. My lack of confidence for over a decade have prevented me to land a successful job. Apparently, where I work, most ppl in my department are from a program that helps felons  to work. No wonder there are cameras in every corner. I am not challenged at work. Homelessness is a constant fear.

i am currently in the verge of deleting a friemd off fb and other platforms for not treating me as a friend. She always ignores and trolls. Makes me cry all the time and i expressed my feelings already.

I feel if thinks dont get better, My negativity will get worse.

 

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Hi @Stand_alone, sorry you're having a hard time.  Thanks for sharing with us, and no need to apologize for feeling like your story is a broken record.  That's why most of us are on here. We are looking for something, anything that might push us in a new direction and put us on a new path in our lives. 

I have been greatly helped by this site.  Why do you think you have a lack of confidence?  In reading your post, I notice that you do tend to have a negative outlook on life.  I heard recently that thinking negatively actually rewires the brain.  The more we think negative thoughts, the worse we feel.

I have battled anxiety and depression for a long time, but several years ago, I realized my life seemed to be in a downward spiral.  I began to look for help and answers.  I listen to New Life radio call in program with Steve Arterburn.  I also, make it my goal to always be reading a self help book.  It has changed my thinking so much.  Some of my favorites are Blue Genes by Paul Meier MD; Dark Clouds, Silver Linings by Dr. Archibald Hart; Happiness is a Choice by Frank Minirth and Change Your Brain, Change Your Life by Daniel G. Amen.

If you are willing to do a little work and commit yourself to getting well, I believe there is hope.

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2 minutes ago, justthinking said:

Hi @Stand_alone, sorry you're having a hard time.  Thanks for sharing with us, and no need to apologize for feeling like your story is a broken record.  That's why most of us are on here. We are looking for something, anything that might push us in a new direction and put us on a new path in our lives. 

I have been greatly helped by this site.  Why do you think you have a lack of confidence?  In reading your post, I notice that you do tend to have a negative outlook on life.  I heard recently that thinking negatively actually rewires the brain.  The more we think negative thoughts, the worse we feel.

I have battled anxiety and depression for a long time, but several years ago, I realized my life seemed to be in a downward spiral.  I began to look for help and answers.  I listen to New Life radio call in program with Steve Arterburn.  I also, make it my goal to always be reading a self help book.  It has changed my thinking so much.  Some of my favorites are Blue Genes by Paul Meier MD; Dark Clouds, Silver Linings by Dr. Archibald Hart; Happiness is a Choice by Frank Minirth and Change Your Brain, Change Your Life by Daniel G. Amen.

If you are willing to do a little work and commit yourself to getting well, I believe there is hope.

Thanks, my friend because I’m at a point 

in my life that I want to take back my mind 

and my contentment in life or should I say 

a happiness that I really never known.

:hugs:

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I already deleted that friend. Relationship are maintained by a 2 way street dialogue. If one side is not letting the car down the road of communication, then there is no maintaining that friendship. I am hurt too many times.

I am looking up and socializing to ppl around me irl and online who are very positive and are glad to be around me. Yet i will still have that sense of negativity.

i have always been dealing with anxiety and depression. Part of it the therapist thinks is upbringing. 

I keep asking myself what will happen to me? Is this all I can do?

 

 

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On 10/31/2018 at 1:01 AM, Stand_alone said:

i have always been dealing with anxiety and depression. Part of it the therapist thinks is upbringing. 

I keep asking myself what will happen to me? Is this all I can do?

 

 

Are you asking, "Will I always be like this (negative)?  Is there no hope for change or improvement?"  If those are the questions, I believe, based on my reading and study, that you can change and you can get rid of negative thought patterns.  In the book Rethink How You Think by Dr. David Stoop, he explains that your brain becomes what you think about.  If you constantly think about negative things, you will have a negative brain. Also, look into the other books I suggested.

I guess the question is do you really want to change? and what are you willing to do to change?

 

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That was a question I answered at a short lived insurance job. I quit that because you have to work like a workaholic and make cold calls and visits. 

The change is ofc way of thinking but it’s also the job. Right now I am of the remaining handful of ppl who have a work schedule in a call center that gives this literal “big brother” environment. There’s cameras and a person watching you make calls. I felt as a “part-time” worker, working 6 days a week, I feel that I’m treated as a low tier employee, and there’s segregation based on worker tier. Entrances and accessibility, even benefits. 

i should and want to get out, but I do feel, All the jobs I landed are not meaningful, liveable and what I enjoy. Those i like to work for, often fall short. It is a never ending cycle.

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On 11/11/2018 at 8:12 AM, Stand_alone said:

i should and want to get out, but I do feel, All the jobs I landed are not meaningful, liveable and what I enjoy. Those i like to work for, often fall short. It is a never ending cycle.

Maybe that's how work got the title "The Rat Race". Is there something you could on the side to educate, train or prepare you for a different job?  Taking some classes?  Doing some volunteer work, etc.  Even doing some online training?

 

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I understand what you mean about your job. I have been through something somewhat similar, (but not entirely.) I want to congratulate you for starting therapy, and for getting rid of the 'friend' who was treating you so badly. You're absolutely right that friendships need two-way communication and care. You deserve better than a troll who makes you cry!

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