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The Power Of Hugging


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Just last month I went on a web site that spoke on the power of hugging someone and how we needed to hug and be hugged many times a day. Below I've cut and paste the article for all your enjoyment and edification. Be forwarned though, this article left me feeling so emotionally and psychologically malnorished and even more depressed, as I realised why I personally desired to hug and be hugged by women so much. The last time I read this article i burst into tears, such was the revelation and power of its contents, so read it with care, read it with a lot of tissue ;-) Sometimes I swear I believe I want and need a hug more than I want and need sex. Hugging is particularly benificial to people with mental illnesses like us. I believe lots of hugging and theraputic massages are a must for people suffering with depression and it's "relatives". Anyhow read the article and don't feel so bad if like me u r not getting even half of the daily recommended dosage of hugs, there's hope, hang in there, I hug u all, God bless u all.

Wayne.

HAVE YOU HUGGED ANYONE LATELY?

By Parveen Chopra

We need 4 hugs a day for survival. We need 8 hugs a day for maintenance. We need 12 hugs a day for growth

Virginia Satir, family therapist

You may laugh off the predilection of the psychiatry community in the USA for coining names such as dance or walk therapies, which are based, on pure common sense or on practices that have always been around in various cultures. But then you may feel like giving them a hug. For by calling it a therapy, giving it a name, and ardently promoting it, they often manage to create awareness about a healthy and wholesome habit that is endangered by the bustle of modern life. Hug therapy is a typical example.

Big deal, you say, when you hear the term for the first time. But try to recollect the last time you hugged somebody or somebody hugged you. In all likelihood, it was too long ago. Worse, the answer may be 'never' if you are the kind who flinches from physical contact.

Truly, urban India is becoming more of a hands-off culture. "It is unfortunate because Indians were never averse to touch," laments Dr Achal Bhagat, a Delhi-based psychiatrist, "particularly when sharing grief or joy." The hugging or pecking on the cheek you see nowadays at parties is very superficial, adds Delhi socialite Pommi Malhotra. She has a name for it: social hugging. And its practitioners obviously do not belong to the circle of healing huggers.

So what are we missing out on?

Reaching out and touching someone, and holding him tightis a way of saying you care. Its effects are immediate: for both, the hugger and the person being hugged feel good.

"Touch is an important component of attachment as it creates bonds between two individuals," says Dr Bhagat. For Malhotra, who describes herself as a friendly, warm, affectionate and demonstrative person, hugging is simply a natural expression of showing that you love and care.

Vikas Malkani, 29, a director at Avis International, an Indian denim wear company, wishes for much more touching and hugging in families, particularly between parents and their grown-up children. He states that it should not be forgotten that your skin is also a sense organ. Every centimeter of itfrom the head to the tips of the toesis sensitive to touch. In the mother's womb, each part of the fetus' body is touched by the amniotic fluid, says Malkani, which may be the origin of the yearning for touch all our lives.

"Cuddling and caressing make the growing child feel secure and is known to aid in self-esteem," agrees Dr Bhagat. The tactile sense is all-important in infants. A baby recognizes its parents initially by touch. Malkani points out cultural variations pertaining to hugging: in the West, hugging a friend of the opposite sex is common, while in India you see more physical contact between friends of the same sex.

Hugging comes naturally to Kajal Basu, a 37-year-old journalist. "It loosens you up and breaks the bonds of body as well as of society. The more ritualistic ways of greeting people, handshakes and namastes, are designed to keep us apart rather than bring us together," he argues.

Sensing the need, many people are creating their own personal growth courses for children. First-time entrants include Excel Training Forum and Sankalp, both run by retired defense personnel in Delhi, India.

R. Chandran, a reiki master based in Mumbai, India, says that hugging is a tool of transformation. "Hugging brings people closer to each other. If your relationship with somebody is not working, try hugging him 20 times a day and there will be a significant difference," he guarantees. Comparing hugging to reiki, the currently popular touch therapy based on the transfer of energy, he says the area of touch is much larger in the case of hugging and the contact is much more intimate, so the effects are subtler.

Chandran's reiki initiates remember the tight, prolonged embraces he gives them on meeting! Or parting. "My intention in the act is also to transfer energy. The effect is so distinct that people feel the difference," he says.

Indeed, many spiritual gurus, such as Mata Amritanandmayi, hug their disciples a lot, perhaps to pass on the divine energy.

Touch has come full circle in the West this century. Time was when parents and hospitals were advised to leave a crying baby alone. Today the pediatricians and psychologists tell us to pick up and cuddle our children. Toys, even teddy bears, whose use has been increasing in the recent decades, are a poor substitute for the human contact needed by children.

In psychoanalysis, developed early this century, the couch symbolized the distance from the patient that the therapist had to maintain. The taboo against touch was broken in the heady 1960s and '70s by the hippies' love-ins and professionally by some therapists who introduced it in the encounter groups. Since then many psychological counselors are expanding the definition of "hug" by even patting and massaging their clients in the course of normal therapy. The idea is to add touch to the powers of speech, listening and observation. The argument goes that the client's skin can perceive care and reassurance.

Dr Bhagat, however, strongly argues against the psychiatrist or psychotherapist touching his patients; "The therapist should never cross the boundaries set by the patient," he says. Another context of abuse, he points out, is when adults have sexual contact with children on the pretext of touching and cuddling.

<BR>But then, hugging is a tool that has to be used with the same care and sensitivity as any other form of therapeutic intervention. In Delhi, Sanjivini, a well-known center that offers help for troubled minds, has a day clinic for schizophrenics where "caring" (involving touch and holding) is routinely used as a therapy. "But it is done in a parent-child matrix," clarifies Dr Rajat Mitra in charge of Sanjivini, adding that only women volunteers handle female patients and men handle male patients. Mitra explains that schizophrenics are regressed. "And when a two-year-old cries, to comfort him, you do not philosophize but hold him on your lap."

Hugging is being used even as an aid in treating some physical illnesses, following research that it leads to certain positive physiological changes. For example, touch stimulates nerve endings, thereby helping in relieving pain. It is thus not uncommon for a chronic pain patient to be prescribed "Therapeutic touch" which involves placing the hands on or just above the troubled area in the patient's body for half-an-hour (shades of reiki). This pushes up the hemoglobin levels in the blood, increasing the delivery of blood to tissues, a study at the nursing department of New York University showed. Some nurses' associations in the USA have since endorsed therapeutic touch.

Any health problem makes the sufferer feel vulnerable, frightened, angry, frustrated and helpless. The patient usually needs to educate himself to make certain life changes. Hugging can give him the positive emotional state necessary to make these changes. In one study, pet ownership was seen to contribute to the survival of heart patients. The inference: the cuddling of pets has a soothing effect that reduces the stress levels in heart attack victims.

Tactile contact is very important for people with certain handicaps and can even be therapeutic. Imran Ali, a visually impaired telephone operator at the Steel Authority of India office in Delhi, says that if somebody says "Hi!" to him, it means nothing to hima hug does. In Mario Puzo's latest novel, The Last Don, the heroine named Athena provides her autistic daughter with "a hug box", lying in which gives the child a feeling of being hugged by a person without having to connect or relate to another human being, which is a problem with autistics.

The miraculous way in which hugging works is described in a touching story titled 'The Hugging Judge' in Chicken Soup for the Soul by Jack Canfield and Mark Victor Hansen. It is about Lee Shapiro, a retired judge, who realized that love is the greatest power there is and began offering everybody a hug.

Some years ago he created the Hugger Kit. It contains 30 little red embroidered hearts. Shapiro would take out his kit, go around to people and offer them a little red heart in exchange for a hug. Soon, he became a minor celebrity for spreading his message of unconditional love.

Once, accepting a challenge from a local television station in San Francisco, he went ahead and offered a hug to a six-foot-two, 230-pound bus driver, from a community known to be the toughest, crabbiest and meanest in the whole town. Even as the TV cameras whirred, the bus driver stepped down and said: "Why not?"

But Shapiro was queasy when invited to a home for the terminally ill, severely ******** and quadriplegic. Accompanied by a team of doctors and nurses, he went about his routine of hugging and handing out little red hearts till they reached a ward with the worst cases. The last person, named Leonard, whom Shapiro had to hug, was drooling on his big white bib; There's no way we can get across to this person, Shapiro thought.

But finally he leaned down and gave Leonard a hug. This is what followed, in the authors' words:

All of a sudden Leonard began to squeal: "Eeeeehh! Eeeeehh!"

Some of the other patients in the room began to clang things together. Shapiro turned to the staff for some sort of explanation, only to find that every doctor, nurse and orderly was crying.

Shapiro asked the head nurse: "What's going on?"

Shapiro will never forget what she said: "This is the first time in 23 years we've ever seen Leonard smile.

It only takes a hug, a heartfelt and warm embrace, to change the lives of others. Try it, it works.

HOW TO HUG

Hugging may sound like the simplest thing on earth, but it will help to keep a few things in mind. Non-hugs are no good. In his book Caring, Feeling, Touching, Dr Sidney Simon describes five non-hugs:

I. The A-frame hug, in which nothing but the huggers' heads touch.

2. The half-hug, where the huggers' upper bodies touchwhile the other half twists away.

3. The chest-to-chest burp, in which the huggers pat each other on the back, defusing the physical contact by treating each other like infants being burped.

4. The wallet-rub, in which two people stand side-by-side and touch hips.

5. The jock-twirl, in which the hugger, who is stronger or bigger, lifts the other person off the ground and twirls him.

The real thing, the full body hug, touches all the bases. Dr Simon describes it like this: "The two people coming together take time to really look at each other. There is no evasion or ignoring that they are about to hug... You try as hard as you can to personalize and customize each hug you give... With a full body hug there is a sense of complete giving and fearless. Communication, one uncomplicated by words.

"It is the attitude that is important," says Vikas Malkani. "It need not be a full, frontal hug. It could be sideways. Generally, hug only friends and people you know."

"Many people do not like their personal space to be invaded. Still others may feel too vulnerable at times to like to be touched," warns Dr Bhagat.

The stereotype of men being less demonstrative than women in their love and affection is by and large true. "But men are more open to hugging after a few drinks at parties," says Pommi Malhotra. From her experience she says that even the tough ones respond to hugging.

Many people feel embarrassed or uncomfortable when hugged, but Malkani's advice is to still go at it because they are bound to feel good afterwards and may even feel grateful to you. When you feel the need to be hugged, ask for one. Any place is good enough for hugging: home, office, school, church, a party, a conference. You may, however, feel uncomfortable hugging, for example, at work. In that case, prefer a more intimate environment, such as at home with friends or at a party.

How I learned to hug

2 years ago, attend a retreat at my chuch with a group of abou 70 people. One of the things we had to do was hug every one. It was so weird in the beginning "hugging strangers." Overtime, it became so normal and I began to look forward to seeing these people at meetings/gathering go get their hugs. Strange enough to took me 36 years to realize now great hugs are and they don't have to be from only your family. Hugs really connect people. Some of these people are such a great part of my life. They are closer to me then some family members. So hugs make people grow together.

Just last month I went on a web site that spoke on the power of hugging someone and how we needed to hug and be hugged many times a day. Below I've cut and paste the article for all your enjoyment and edification. Be forwarned though, this article left me feeling so emotionally and psychologically malnorished and even more depressed, as I realised why I personally desired to hug and be hugged by women so much. The last time I read this article i burst into tears, such was the revelation and power of its contents, so read it with care, read it with a lot of tissue ;-) Sometimes I swear I believe I want and need a hug more than I want and need sex. Hugging is particularly benificial to people with mental illnesses like us. I believe lots of hugging and theraputic massages are a must for people suffering with depression and it's "relatives". Anyhow read the article and don't feel so bad if like me u r not getting even half of the daily recommended dosage of hugs, there's hope, hang in there, I hug u all, God bless u all.

Wayne.

HAVE YOU HUGGED ANYONE LATELY?

By Parveen Chopra

We need 4 hugs a day for survival. We need 8 hugs a day for maintenance. We need 12 hugs a day for growth

Virginia Satir, family therapist

You may laugh off the predilection of the psychiatry community in the USA for coining names such as dance or walk therapies, which are based, on pure common sense or on practices that have always been around in various cultures. But then you may feel like giving them a hug. For by calling it a therapy, giving it a name, and ardently promoting it, they often manage to create awareness about a healthy and wholesome habit that is endangered by the bustle of modern life. Hug therapy is a typical example.

Big deal, you say, when you hear the term for the first time. But try to recollect the last time you hugged somebody or somebody hugged you. In all likelihood, it was too long ago. Worse, the answer may be 'never' if you are the kind who flinches from physical contact.

Truly, urban India is becoming more of a hands-off culture. "It is unfortunate because Indians were never averse to touch," laments Dr Achal Bhagat, a Delhi-based psychiatrist, "particularly when sharing grief or joy." The hugging or pecking on the cheek you see nowadays at parties is very superficial, adds Delhi socialite Pommi Malhotra. She has a name for it: social hugging. And its practitioners obviously do not belong to the circle of healing huggers.

So what are we missing out on?

Reaching out and touching someone, and holding him tightis a way of saying you care. Its effects are immediate: for both, the hugger and the person being hugged feel good.

"Touch is an important component of attachment as it creates bonds between two individuals," says Dr Bhagat. For Malhotra, who describes herself as a friendly, warm, affectionate and demonstrative person, hugging is simply a natural expression of showing that you love and care.

Vikas Malkani, 29, a director at Avis International, an Indian denim wear company, wishes for much more touching and hugging in families, particularly between parents and their grown-up children. He states that it should not be forgotten that your skin is also a sense organ. Every centimeter of itfrom the head to the tips of the toesis sensitive to touch. In the mother's womb, each part of the fetus' body is touched by the amniotic fluid, says Malkani, which may be the origin of the yearning for touch all our lives.

"Cuddling and caressing make the growing child feel secure and is known to aid in self-esteem," agrees Dr Bhagat. The tactile sense is all-important in infants. A baby recognizes its parents initially by touch. Malkani points out cultural variations pertaining to hugging: in the West, hugging a friend of the opposite sex is common, while in India you see more physical contact between friends of the same sex.

Hugging comes naturally to Kajal Basu, a 37-year-old journalist. "It loosens you up and breaks the bonds of body as well as of society. The more ritualistic ways of greeting people, handshakes and namastes, are designed to keep us apart rather than bring us together," he argues.

Sensing the need, many people are creating their own personal growth courses for children. First-time entrants include Excel Training Forum and Sankalp, both run by retired defense personnel in Delhi, India.

R. Chandran, a reiki master based in Mumbai, India, says that hugging is a tool of transformation. "Hugging brings people closer to each other. If your relationship with somebody is not working, try hugging him 20 times a day and there will be a significant difference," he guarantees. Comparing hugging to reiki, the currently popular touch therapy based on the transfer of energy, he says the area of touch is much larger in the case of hugging and the contact is much more intimate, so the effects are subtler.

Chandran's reiki initiates remember the tight, prolonged embraces he gives them on meeting! Or parting. "My intention in the act is also to transfer energy. The effect is so distinct that people feel the difference," he says.

Indeed, many spiritual gurus, such as Mata Amritanandmayi, hug their disciples a lot, perhaps to pass on the divine energy.

Touch has come full circle in the West this century. Time was when parents and hospitals were advised to leave a crying baby alone. Today the pediatricians and psychologists tell us to pick up and cuddle our children. Toys, even teddy bears, whose use has been increasing in the recent decades, are a poor substitute for the human contact needed by children.

In psychoanalysis, developed early this century, the couch symbolized the distance from the patient that the therapist had to maintain. The taboo against touch was broken in the heady 1960s and '70s by the hippies' love-ins and professionally by some therapists who introduced it in the encounter groups. Since then many psychological counselors are expanding the definition of "hug" by even patting and massaging their clients in the course of normal therapy. The idea is to add touch to the powers of speech, listening and observation. The argument goes that the client's skin can perceive care and reassurance.

Dr Bhagat, however, strongly argues against the psychiatrist or psychotherapist touching his patients; "The therapist should never cross the boundaries set by the patient," he says. Another context of abuse, he points out, is when adults have sexual contact with children on the pretext of touching and cuddling.

<BR>But then, hugging is a tool that has to be used with the same care and sensitivity as any other form of therapeutic intervention. In Delhi, Sanjivini, a well-known center that offers help for troubled minds, has a day clinic for schizophrenics where "caring" (involving touch and holding) is routinely used as a therapy. "But it is done in a parent-child matrix," clarifies Dr Rajat Mitra in charge of Sanjivini, adding that only women volunteers handle female patients and men handle male patients. Mitra explains that schizophrenics are regressed. "And when a two-year-old cries, to comfort him, you do not philosophize but hold him on your lap."

Hugging is being used even as an aid in treating some physical illnesses, following research that it leads to certain positive physiological changes. For example, touch stimulates nerve endings, thereby helping in relieving pain. It is thus not uncommon for a chronic pain patient to be prescribed "Therapeutic touch" which involves placing the hands on or just above the troubled area in the patient's body for half-an-hour (shades of reiki). This pushes up the hemoglobin levels in the blood, increasing the delivery of blood to tissues, a study at the nursing department of New York University showed. Some nurses' associations in the USA have since endorsed therapeutic touch.

Any health problem makes the sufferer feel vulnerable, frightened, angry, frustrated and helpless. The patient usually needs to educate himself to make certain life changes. Hugging can give him the positive emotional state necessary to make these changes. In one study, pet ownership was seen to contribute to the survival of heart patients. The inference: the cuddling of pets has a soothing effect that reduces the stress levels in heart attack victims.

Tactile contact is very important for people with certain handicaps and can even be therapeutic. Imran Ali, a visually impaired telephone operator at the Steel Authority of India office in Delhi, says that if somebody says "Hi!" to him, it means nothing to hima hug does. In Mario Puzo's latest novel, The Last Don, the heroine named Athena provides her autistic daughter with "a hug box", lying in which gives the child a feeling of being hugged by a person without having to connect or relate to another human being, which is a problem with autistics.

The miraculous way in which hugging works is described in a touching story titled 'The Hugging Judge' in Chicken Soup for the Soul by Jack Canfield and Mark Victor Hansen. It is about Lee Shapiro, a retired judge, who realized that love is the greatest power there is and began offering everybody a hug.

Some years ago he created the Hugger Kit. It contains 30 little red embroidered hearts. Shapiro would take out his kit, go around to people and offer them a little red heart in exchange for a hug. Soon, he became a minor celebrity for spreading his message of unconditional love.

Once, accepting a challenge from a local television station in San Francisco, he went ahead and offered a hug to a six-foot-two, 230-pound bus driver, from a community known to be the toughest, crabbiest and meanest in the whole town. Even as the TV cameras whirred, the bus driver stepped down and said: "Why not?"

But Shapiro was queasy when invited to a home for the terminally ill, severely ******** and quadriplegic. Accompanied by a team of doctors and nurses, he went about his routine of hugging and handing out little red hearts till they reached a ward with the worst cases. The last person, named Leonard, whom Shapiro had to hug, was drooling on his big white bib; There's no way we can get across to this person, Shapiro thought.

But finally he leaned down and gave Leonard a hug. This is what followed, in the authors' words:

All of a sudden Leonard began to squeal: "Eeeeehh! Eeeeehh!"

Some of the other patients in the room began to clang things together. Shapiro turned to the staff for some sort of explanation, only to find that every doctor, nurse and orderly was crying.

Shapiro asked the head nurse: "What's going on?"

Shapiro will never forget what she said: "This is the first time in 23 years we've ever seen Leonard smile.

It only takes a hug, a heartfelt and warm embrace, to change the lives of others. Try it, it works.

HOW TO HUG

Hugging may sound like the simplest thing on earth, but it will help to keep a few things in mind. Non-hugs are no good. In his book Caring, Feeling, Touching, Dr Sidney Simon describes five non-hugs:

I. The A-frame hug, in which nothing but the huggers' heads touch.

2. The half-hug, where the huggers' upper bodies touchwhile the other half twists away.

3. The chest-to-chest burp, in which the huggers pat each other on the back, defusing the physical contact by treating each other like infants being burped.

4. The wallet-rub, in which two people stand side-by-side and touch hips.

5. The jock-twirl, in which the hugger, who is stronger or bigger, lifts the other person off the ground and twirls him.

The real thing, the full body hug, touches all the bases. Dr Simon describes it like this: "The two people coming together take time to really look at each other. There is no evasion or ignoring that they are about to hug... You try as hard as you can to personalize and customize each hug you give... With a full body hug there is a sense of complete giving and fearless. Communication, one uncomplicated by words.

"It is the attitude that is important," says Vikas Malkani. "It need not be a full, frontal hug. It could be sideways. Generally, hug only friends and people you know."

"Many people do not like their personal space to be invaded. Still others may feel too vulnerable at times to like to be touched," warns Dr Bhagat.

The stereotype of men being less demonstrative than women in their love and affection is by and large true. "But men are more open to hugging after a few drinks at parties," says Pommi Malhotra. From her experience she says that even the tough ones respond to hugging.

Many people feel embarrassed or uncomfortable when hugged, but Malkani's advice is to still go at it because they are bound to feel good afterwards and may even feel grateful to you. When you feel the need to be hugged, ask for one. Any place is good enough for hugging: home, office, school, church, a party, a conference. You may, however, feel uncomfortable hugging, for example, at work. In that case, prefer a more intimate environment, such as at home with friends or at a party.

hey wayne great article but greater yet is how you open up about your need to be hugged. in my cultural, mexican ancestory the women are very hugging but the men are quite the contrary, we find it almost a sign of weakness to over hug, even hugging ones relatives can be seen as offensive or unmanly but in my family we are more prone to hug, this includes my sibblings and children. my wife, myself and children always make it a point to hug and even plant a kiss or two when we see each other. sad to say but many people regret not doing so once their loved ones are gone. my wife and i don't hug near enough, at least not for me. lol
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  • 2 weeks later...

Wayne, thank you so much for posting this.

It makes me feel better knowing that there are others that miss the human touch as much as I do, and that it is noted as being so incredibly important to our health and wellbeing. I think one of the reasons that I am so affected by my illness is the lack of touching, hugging and kissing. I am a very tactile person but have no one in my life to demonstrate this with and have not had for quite some time. I am however lucky that my two cats are very affectionate to me.

BIG HUGS TO ALL THOSE THAT NEED THEM and to those of you that have pets grab a hug from them if you can.

I would put a hug smily on here but don't have the patience to look for it.

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  • 4 weeks later...

A little hug story - One day a few years ago I had gone 'AWOL' from a great night out with friends - my mood took an almighty alcholic crash. To cut a very long story short I ended up walking on a frozen-over canal and falling through the ice. I would have drowned were it not for me being close enough to the edge to grab on as I fell through the ice....

....At like 4am I was walking soaked to the bone and trembling with cold down the main road back to my home, and a complete stranger saw me in my hideous state. He said 'you look like you need a hug my friend' and me and this stranger shared a hug for like 10seconds, in which I fell to peaces crying. Hehehe he must have been really freaked out - but I will never forget the mighty power of that one hug with a stranger.

Thank you stranger :)

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  • 3 weeks later...

I love hugs. I wish I felt more free to give one, or even get one. For it to feel more real, it has to be from a person I'm close to and I have feelings for. The only negative part of hugs is when the hug ends, and you don't know whether and how soon you'll feel comfortable enough to go in for one again.

We humans are social beings (although I'm terrified of society myself) and are in need of human touch. I wish people would actually take more time to fulifill these basic needs, and have nothing that holds them back...

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My friend gave me a big hug this week, she never did that before because I'm not much of a pyhsical person, usually when ppl try to hug me I turn away but it was for my birthday so yeah. She just grabbed me, pushed me to my body and kissed my cheek haha. I was like, uh ok but I thought it was so sweet of her and I just felt the warmth of her hug. After that she played with my hair a little, it felt so nice.. So yeah maybe I should hug my friends and family more often because it can feel good.

Edited by Broken_girl
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I am completely addicted to hugs. I'd hug everyone here!

I agree that hugs is a wonderful form of intimacy... and snuggles, too. I told my ex that I liked snuggles like anyone else, and he said, "No way! You are a snuggle MONSTER!" I don't think he was to into snugs, but I took it as a compliment. I loooove snugging. Time to snug with my teddy bear! :)

Just recently, too, I've found many, many people are very open to hugging. I've been taking risks and asking for hugs—I've never been turned down! :)

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I realized this past week that due to the limitations from physical disability and poverty and age and having had my trust in others totally demolished, I will never again have the kind of hug that I really need at this point----the kind of hug that makes one feel protected and like everything is going to be alright. I share hugs with my few "friends" when I see them, but it's not the same as the one given by someone who loves me and has my back. I wish my Dad were still alive, because his hugs were the closest to that that I would be able to get at this point since a loving relationship is probably not in my future. That kind of hug is what I miss the most from my marriage, probably more than anything else I'll miss about it.

Best wishes.

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I loved the article. I even sent it to my boyfriend to solicit more hugs. I usually hate being touched, especially my hair, so I shy away from hugging my family members. My mom loves stroking my hair but I slink away every time she tries. I haven't hugged my father in probably ten years, he never hugged me either. As my aunt always says about my family, "We *******s are not huggers".

I do enjoy hugs from my boyfriend when I get to see him. I cuddle/hug my cats all the time, they are purrrfect to hug.

We all need more hugs in our lives.

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  • 2 weeks later...

For mw hugging is amazing. If I even hug my grandparents goodbye I don't want to let go because I feel so safe. Me and my girlfriend can lie and hug for hours if one of us is down and going to sleep with her on my shoulder (only experienced it for the first time a few weeks ago) is so good because we both said we felt safe.

When I first revealed to my dad that I self harmed I just grabbed him and burst into tears, it was just an instinctive reaction.

OMA

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