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Greetings all. 

48 years old and I've been struggling with depression most of my life. I've been diagnosed with MDD - treatment refractory and GAD. I didn't seek professional help until about 6 years ago when I finally accepted that other means of coping no longer worked. 

Mental illness runs on both sides of my family but tragically, nearly none of us were ever diagnosed or sought any treatment. I've been on many medications in various combinations and the only noticeable effects were the side-effects upon reaching maximum therapeutic dose.

I think Treatment Refractory is a label that can often exaggerate the hopelessness most of us feel so I want to end this introduction with a tiny bit of optimism. I've recieved Ketamine intravenous infusions for the past 14 months in conjunction with DBT and CBT and together, these therapies have helped me manage my symptoms. If anyone has questions about Ketamine or CBT/DBT, know that I'm very open to discussing my experiences. I'll look around for a sub-forum where I can dump info on that.

I'm also open and eager to learn from you about how you're managing depression, how you've navigated through a world that still largely views mental illness as a character flaw, responded to those voices inside us telling us what we should've/could've done or become if only...

Thanks for reading and be well. 

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Welcome to our forum family.

You are sure to get a few more welcomes.

I'll make one small comment on " character flaw".

It's the flaws in a gem that make it sparkle.

My "shtick" on this forum is to use cleverness with metaphors to deal and cope with Old Man Depression.

Anyway keep posting and check through other posts.

You'll find you are not alone.

Oscar

 

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Welcome Atra! Glad you found us. It has helped me a lot to be an active part of this supportive community. Reading and responding to other's post gets me out of my stuff and I'm reminded that I am not alone in this struggle. We will work at supporting you as well as we can. So keep coming back. You are not alone.

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3 hours ago, Oscar K said:

Welcome to our forum family.

You are sure to get a few more welcomes.

I'll make one small comment on " character flaw".

It's the flaws in a gem that make it sparkle.

My "shtick" on this forum is to use cleverness with metaphors to deal and cope with Old Man Depression.

Anyway keep posting and check through other posts.

You'll find you are not alone.

Oscar

 

I do dig a good turn of phrase, thanks Oscar. Old Man Depression: constant companion who hardly ever shuts up and finds new ways to subvert me. 

2 hours ago, BeyondWeary said:

Welcome Atra! Glad you found us. It has helped me a lot to be an active part of this supportive community. Reading and responding to other's post gets me out of my stuff and I'm reminded that I am not alone in this struggle. We will work at supporting you as well as we can. So keep coming back. You are not alone.

Thank you BeyondWeary. You're absolutely correct that throwing an arm around someone else who's struggling gives us perspective, purpose and compassion (sometimes for ourselves, too). 

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Thanks for your response.

Many times I have said here that Old Man Depression plays some very nasty tricks on our psyches.

It seems only fair that we play some clever tricks right back.

One trick I try to employ is to metaphorically turn my back on the depression abyss.

Sometimes I think Old Man Depression tries to make us play a losing game of hide and seek with ourselves.

Old Man Depression is pretty darn devious so we must be cleverer.

Oscar

 

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Wow! Your honesty and openness is an encouragement to all of us!  In 2018, my own family, had to come face-to-face with mental illness and acknowledge that our family seems to have tendencies to face anxiety and depression.  I tragically lost an uncle and recently have had my own personal struggles with anxiety.  I have also watched my father go through a period of depression.  It is very important for us to be open to discuss our struggles.  I am finding that pride kept me from this for way too long!  I’m glad to see that you are finding treatment.  There is hope for all of us!  

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1 hour ago, UB4me said:

Wow! Your honesty and openness is an encouragement to all of us!  In 2018, my own family, had to come face-to-face with mental illness and acknowledge that our family seems to have tendencies to face anxiety and depression.  I tragically lost an uncle and recently have had my own personal struggles with anxiety.  I have also watched my father go through a period of depression.  It is very important for us to be open to discuss our struggles.  I am finding that pride kept me from this for way too long!  I’m glad to see that you are finding treatment.  There is hope for all of us!  

Welcome to DF, ub4me. I'm sorry you are struggling but I am glad you found your way here.

 

On 10/17/2018 at 2:26 PM, Atra said:

Greetings all. 

48 years old and I've been struggling with depression most of my life. I've been diagnosed with MDD - treatment refractory and GAD. I didn't seek professional help until about 6 years ago when I finally accepted that other means of coping no longer worked. 

Mental illness runs on both sides of my family but tragically, nearly none of us were ever diagnosed or sought any treatment. I've been on many medications in various combinations and the only noticeable effects were the side-effects upon reaching maximum therapeutic dose.

I think Treatment Refractory is a label that can often exaggerate the hopelessness most of us feel so I want to end this introduction with a tiny bit of optimism. I've recieved Ketamine intravenous infusions for the past 14 months in conjunction with DBT and CBT and together, these therapies have helped me manage my symptoms. If anyone has questions about Ketamine or CBT/DBT, know that I'm very open to discussing my experiences. I'll look around for a sub-forum where I can dump info on that.

I'm also open and eager to learn from you about how you're managing depression, how you've navigated through a world that still largely views mental illness as a character flaw, responded to those voices inside us telling us what we should've/could've done or become if only...

Thanks for reading and be well. 

I am glad you have found something that works for you, atra.  Look forward to hearing from you around the boards!

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