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Bowser

New Here - My Brain Is Destroyed From Over 40 Psychiatric Drugs Prescribed To Me

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I'm new here and I have a complex story but I'll try to keep it simple for now since I'm not sure how active this site is.  Back in the mid 1990s I was only a teenager and because of suicidal ideation I was forced to take Prozac.  Prozac caused brain and reproduction system damage to me called PSSD.  PSSD wouldn't have a name until around 2005.  Instead of doctors slowly weaning me off of the various antidepressants they put me on, they just kept making my life worse by cold-turkeying me off the medications where I would then wind up in an inpatient psych unit pumped full of more psych drugs and then called bipolar.  I am now permanently disabled because I have brain damage from 40 different psychiatric medications.  I am currently taking Depakote Sprinkles, Klonopin and Anafranil.  I was trying to do my best to live on this combination of medications but I have now found myself with my worst symptom which is total insomnia.  My stepfather passed away earlier this month but he was more of an enemy to me and a stressor to my mother and I, so I am not sure why I am not even more relaxed.  I do not wish to go through another hospitalization, as I will just be pumped full of more medications that will cause more damage.  I am searching for other ways that I may be able to calm down and get back to sleep.  I was supposed to do things such as reduce the Anafranil slowly via Dr. Peter Breggin's methods so I can get my PSSD fixed since there are finally treatments for it and even get stem cell therapy to undo some of the iatrogenic damages but if I cannot stabilize, I won't be able to do any of this.  I hope some of this makes sense.  Any assistance would be greatly appreciated.

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Welcome Bowser! Glad that you found us. We will work at supporting you as well as we can. We are all struggling in some way. You are not alone. As for sleeping, it helps me to have a sound machine that will play white noise like ocean waves or rain. You can get a light box to help set your body clock right or the regular things like the same getting ready for bed routine at the same time every night and no light of any kind in the bedroom when sleeping, no electronics in bed. Hang in there and keep us posted.

 

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I'm so sorry you are suffering and have been suffering so long!  How awful!  You've been through so much and are still going through so much!  

I wish I could write more, but a bout of terrible tendinitis in my hands prevents me from typing for long.

I do hope things improve for you, Bowser ! ! !  - epictetus

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Hi, Bowser!

 I’m so sorry for all that you have been through. I’m new here myself.

I think BeyondWeary’s suggestions were good for insomnia and I really don’t have anything to add except to welcome you.

Here’s hoping that you will find some support and comfort here.

ChopinLover

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Bowser sounds like you have grounds for a lawsuit against those foxtrot tarts!  What those docs did was just wrong. 

I hope somehow you can recover or make things better for yourself.

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Hi Bowser

Welcome to the forum.

I looked up PSSD, so I could reply to you. I'd never heard of it and never been diagnosed with it, but that is clearly what I have had, to the point where everything *completely ceased* working, for  maybe 6 years or so? (Not even sure how long, I just gave up eventually, made the best of the situation and focused my energy on other things) - Gosh, so that is what it was. It's a thing and it has a name! Thank you for writing, I learned something.

It has resolved now, just a couple of months ago, actually. Hypnosis worked for me. Both an actual session with a hypnotherapist, followed up with daily self-hypnosis from some scripts I bought and some YouTube videos I found. For all I know, you may have tried it?

I've had incredible and far-reaching gains from hypnosis generally, so one day I started wondering if it could help for this too. And it did. Not in a single session, over a couple of months; I kept at it. Neuroplasticity is a thing, too. If hypnosis worked for everyone, it’d be the preferred treatment, but it certainly did for me and may be worth a try?

I was switched to Wellbutrin and Lamictal, which I've been on for many years and which work fine. My BP is in remission and I no longer have, what I just discovered is called PSSD.

Edited by moonlightress

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I have a story a lot like yours.  The doctors that came into my life destroyed me.  They kept me doped so much I couldn't function or have a real life for decades.  I was so damaged at the point from abuse in my real life and then I was turned over to doctors that didn't care about my best interest whatsoever.  I feel pretty good today but that's because I take no medication and I never will again.  I shake and have horrible flashbacks every time I walk into a hospital or doctors office.

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I'm so sorry that it has taken me so long to reply.  Thank you all for your encouraging words.  I look forward to participating more in the forum and trying to help other people as well.

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