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Logan Sims

I've had enough

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1 hour ago, Rattler6 said:

Hey Logan.  Are you in college or high school? If college is so bad.  Perhaps it is time for a break.  

Never give up hope.  If you fail just try again after you have learned the lesson(s) of that failure.

Nope. I'm in highschool. The hellscape of my sadness and other peoples joy.

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Logan, 

I was thoroughly miserable in high school as well. I know how you feel. I had a messed up household and felt like a loner- outcast at school. At least i had a couple of friends in the same boat there.

Im sure youre not alone with how you feel. You can survive this. I did...and didnt think i would.

You prob already know...but the OWL online has lots of helpful info for English. 

And yeah, i had some teachers that said i'd never amount to anything, my dad said it too. I now have a good job, a house, and a wife, so F every one that said that to me.

You can say that too one day.

Dont forget:  be nice to yourself.

Steve

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High School does suck for a lot of people.  Just get through it one way or another. 

Do the things that you need to do when you want to do them.  So, you can do the things you want to do when you want to do them.

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I hated high school. I wasn't bullied exactly but made fun of alot. The HS in our district was mostly rich kids. I wasn't. Not only that but I didn't really know how to dress, do my hair or make up. Thankfully I was part of a small group of misfits but definitely not part of the pretty, rich, in-crowd.

I hope you're feeling a bit better today, Logn. Do you belong to any groups or activities at school?

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4 hours ago, JellyThou said:

I just wanted to get off my chest. Why is that crap?

Because slavery is extremely rare and illegal in most places.  There are lots of ways to get ahead of you make the right choices.  

Your entire post is nothing but an excuse for your own failures and that of others.  You make a shitty wage at a shitty job then find a better job.  It takes time and effort.  

Over the last year I have doubled and then more than tripled my hourly rate from the starting wage.  

It is not the job of the successful to finance and or reward the weak and foolish.  It is their job to just keep getting better.

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Logan, it sounds like you've got something more severe than you're willing to talk about. I don't think most people your age see their father covered in blood when they close their eyes. Does anyone know about these things you can't stop seeing? I assume by "counselor" you're referring to the high school counselor, who is more suited to overloading students with busy schedules than helping them through severe mental health issues.

I'm happy to help you and point out the contradictions in your thoughts, like how everyone else is happy, but they're starting a group to prevent self-destructive behaviors. I'm happy to tell you the fact that people apparently love you, based on a couple of the things you've said, is plenty of reason to not harm yourself. I don't think that's gonna do it though. Logan, my advice to you is to explain to someone with authority in your life, be it your parental guardians, a halfway decent teacher at school, local authorities, or a suicide helpline to name a few examples. Explain to them in as much and as graphic detail as you can. It's great that you're speaking up on this forum, but you have to speak up outside of here as well. Maybe i'm presuming too much, but I'm having a hard time believing that your counselor understands the severity of your mental illness. Point is, find someone who will listen to you with authority in your life. Not just hear you, but listen to you. There is a big difference between the two.

Keep us updated, Logan. The path to greatness is long and arduous. It is not pleasant and it is not short. It kicks our butts and it makes us want to die, however inside every human being is the strength to see it through to its natural conclusion. Your life is worth whatever you have to go through in order to achieve. Doesn't matter what you achieve, even if that achievement is survival in a cruel and unforgiving education system on a daily basis, it is still worth it. Don't worry about how many months or how many years you have left in this hell. Take it day by day, starting as you read this out. Again, good luck, and shine on.

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Am just gonna start this with a am sorry am just overwhelmed by life I just want to give up on the hole thing because I don’t see the point in trying when am in so much pain but I do have kinds and and but I feel like what good am I doing here when am just crap sorry for whatever I just said was what I really need is same one who understands everything am going through but that’s honestly gonna be hard to find

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10 hours ago, downer dog said:

I hated high school. I wasn't bullied exactly but made fun of alot. The HS in our district was mostly rich kids. I wasn't. Not only that but I didn't really know how to dress, do my hair or make up. Thankfully I was part of a small group of misfits but definitely not part of the pretty, rich, in-crowd.

I hope you're feeling a bit better today, Logn. Do you belong to any groups or activities at school?

No. Not much point. I don't really fit in anywhere.

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Here's a little something I whipped up called Despair. Had to paste it from my Google Docs due to stupid, limited school systems.

As I sit in this room, waiting for class to start, I think of the stress I will undergo and surprisingly endure. I think of the pain, and it is all I can remember. My dreams are usually nightmares that are limited to blood and fear. I think of how things used to be. How many wonders I used to see in this world, the curiosity I used to have for the world around me. But the world has gone bleak and there’s no more time to explore, enjoy, and learn about the world around me. The PA turns on and the woman from the office says “Good morning students. Please rise for the pledge.”, but as I rise, there is a pillar that stands in the way of the flag of freedom. I can no longer see freedom...

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24 minutes ago, Logan Sims said:

Here's a little something I whipped up called Despair. Had to paste it from my Google Docs due to stupid, limited school systems.

As I sit in this room, waiting for class to start, I think of the stress I will undergo and surprisingly endure. I think of the pain, and it is all I can remember. My dreams are usually nightmares that are limited to blood and fear. I think of how things used to be. How many wonders I used to see in this world, the curiosity I used to have for the world around me. But the world has gone bleak and there’s no more time to explore, enjoy, and learn about the world around me. The PA turns on and the woman from the office says “Good morning students. Please rise for the pledge.”, but as I rise, there is a pillar that stands in the way of the flag of freedom. I can no longer see freedom...

I've done some looking, and of course, the way the school system is run now is damaging to adolescents mental health. It literally hurts people like me to go to school because of how it's run. The fear of failure at school is a stress stronger than anything else in life at this point. Because it's advertised that with just one mistake, you become a complete failure. School is presented as something so important. Not to mention how important College is said to be but despite that College keeps increasing in cost which means when you get out of High School and are pushed to do College, you'll go right into debt with student loans. I may only be 15, but I'll be damned if I don't see how messed up things are.

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There's obviously something wrong when you start to feel confident that you'll be okay and that feeling fades away in almost no time. There's something wrong when I can't go one day in my life without beating myself up over anything...

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7 minutes ago, Logan Sims said:

There's obviously something wrong when you start to feel confident that you'll be okay and that feeling fades away in almost no time. There's something wrong when I can't go one day in my life without beating myself up over anything...

With that being said, I don't understand my current assignment, and my English teacher came up and got in my face and got mad at me for not doing anything. Now I'm trying to hold back tears. I couldn't say much when she did that because I'm already shy. I want to die..

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3 hours ago, Logan Sims said:

I've done some looking, and of course, the way the school system is run now is damaging to adolescents mental health. It literally hurts people like me to go to school because of how it's run. The fear of failure at school is a stress stronger than anything else in life at this point. Because it's advertised that with just one mistake, you become a complete failure. School is presented as something so important. Not to mention how important College is said to be but despite that College keeps increasing in cost which means when you get out of High School and are pushed to do College, you'll go right into debt with student loans. I may only be 15, but I'll be damned if I don't see how messed up things are.

You are absolutely right about that.  I didn't realize how bad "college" was until halfway through my first semester.  You must be way ahead of your peers since you already realize that.  The world needs more people like you.

3 hours ago, Logan Sims said:

With that being said, I don't understand my current assignment, and my English teacher came up and got in my face and got mad at me for not doing anything. Now I'm trying to hold back tears. I couldn't say much when she did that because I'm already shy. I want to die..

Have you tried looking online for help with your english assignment?  You'd probably be surprised at what you'll find.  

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1 hour ago, Floor2017 said:

College is a total different world and it

can cause some emotional stress on

trying to exceed and mastering it on a 

very high level like 3.5 to a 4.0 GPA

Yeah. It's part of why I probably won't do College. I would like to be a writer or make YouTube videos for a living.

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2 hours ago, Wizardwarrior315 said:

You are absolutely right about that.  I didn't realize how bad "college" was until halfway through my first semester.  You must be way ahead of your peers since you already realize that.  The world needs more people like you.

Have you tried looking online for help with your english assignment?  You'd probably be surprised at what you'll find.  

I'm not in college. I'm a sophomore in Highschool. 10th grade. Growing up mainly alone must have its benefits I guess. I see the world around me for what it is and I try not to sugarcoat it. There are so many stories of people who dropped out of Highschool and learned about things they actually cared about and became successful to spite the ineffective school system we have.

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Hello.  I'm new here, but I just wanted to say that I'm glad that you reached out.  Things can feel hopeless at times, more than we'd like, but reaching out means that you're giving yourself a fighting chance.  Please don't give up and keep your head above water, because once you're out of there, you can work toward living a life you have more control over.  

I know there are some who leave their senior year and go for their GED.  Maybe that would be something to consider when the time comes.

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4 hours ago, Logan Sims said:

Yeah. It's part of why I probably won't do College. I would like to be a writer or make YouTube videos for a living.

There is nothing wrong with that.  There is too much pro-college propaganda out there.  

There are many ways to the top of the mountain.  Trade-school, joining a union, joined the military if you are able.

You will get through this Logan.  

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3 hours ago, Rattler6 said:

There is nothing wrong with that.  There is too much pro-college propaganda out there.  

There are many ways to the top of the mountain.  Trade-school, joining a union, joined the military if you are able.

You will get through this Logan.  

Hardly. I'll probably **** myself due to the overwhelming stress and anxiety. 

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15 hours ago, Logan Sims said:

No. Not much point. I don't really fit in anywhere.

I get it.  I didn't either.  Not only did I not fit in, but I knew anything I wanted to join cost money and I knew my parents would say we couldn't afford it, so why even bother to ask?  I wish I could give you a big snuggly hug!  Truly wish I could help.  I can sympathize but I can't change things for you.  But I would if I could.

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4 hours ago, Rattler6 said:

There is nothing wrong with that.  There is too much pro-college propaganda out there.  

There are many ways to the top of the mountain.  Trade-school, joining a union, joined the military if you are able.

You will get through this Logan.  

Thats what I did.  I wanted to be a nurse from the time I was 3 years old.  Then in high school I brought home student loan and scholarship forms but my folks just said, as always, "oh, you'll figure it out".  So I joined the army as a medic.  Thought I was gonna go to nursing school but my recruiter screwed me and I pretty much ended up driving a 1/4 ton pick up truck and "camping" in the swamps of GA for three years.  Oh, well.  Something on my resume.

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Well, there are many paths to success in 

life.  You just have to find the right one for 

you.  My son got his GED through a 

Youth Challenge Program fonded by the 

government.  He went to college shortly 

after graduation from the program.  He

went several semesters and decided it

wasn’t for him.  He worked in the factory 

for about ten years and quit.  He found 

his own Security Company and have about 

fifty people working for him including me 

two times a week on my off days from 

the hospital.  I wish you nothing but the 

best my friend if School isn’t the way you 

choose to go

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