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Unrequited love is the absolute worst.


cherryvlossom

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I met someone amazing. We actually knew each other for quite a long time, but we never really got close until last spring. In the beginning, I only viewed him as a friend - I didn't want to get way too invested and develop feelings, as in the past I was quite sensitive to stuff like that and would often get hurt. Yet unfortunately, I fell for him...hard. I never had someone be so kind and caring to me as he was. He showed me a better side of life and made me want to become a better person. I've even become quite close with his family and other wonderful friends. Despite his flaws, I adored him dearly. I still do, but although I never directly expressed my feelings for him out of fear of ruining our friendship, it's obvious that he has feelings for someone else (he has talked to me about other girls). He tells me that he loves me, but I know he only does as a friend. Now, his kindness makes me so sad. I'm thinking about maybe distancing myself from him, but I don't want to hurt him because he enjoys having me around. He didn't do anything wrong, and I can't be angry with him for not feeling the same. Should I distance myself? I don't think I should tell him my feelings and risk ruining anything...

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I think you should tell him, if your heart agrees. You are experiencing torture already even if you don’t tell him. How can saying nothing be acting as a good friend. If it becomes too stressful after you tell him, then you can distance yourself. At least he will understand why. This is just my opinion. I wish you well. 

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21 hours ago, cherryvlossom said:

I met someone amazing. We actually knew each other for quite a long time, but we never really got close until last spring. In the beginning, I only viewed him as a friend - I didn't want to get way too invested and develop feelings, as in the past I was quite sensitive to stuff like that and would often get hurt. Yet unfortunately, I fell for him...hard. I never had someone be so kind and caring to me as he was. He showed me a better side of life and made me want to become a better person. I've even become quite close with his family and other wonderful friends. Despite his flaws, I adored him dearly. I still do, but although I never directly expressed my feelings for him out of fear of ruining our friendship, it's obvious that he has feelings for someone else (he has talked to me about other girls). He tells me that he loves me, but I know he only does as a friend. Now, his kindness makes me so sad. I'm thinking about maybe distancing myself from him, but I don't want to hurt him because he enjoys having me around. He didn't do anything wrong, and I can't be angry with him for not feeling the same. Should I distance myself? I don't think I should tell him my feelings and risk ruining anything...

Maybe or Maybe not, why don’t you try 

getting a little closer to him perhaps 

touch his hand or give him a kiss on

the jaw or a hug and see how he reacts 

to you.  Believe it or not this happen 

to me when I met my wife.  Her son put

his mother hand in mine and I snatched 

it back not knowing what she would 

do and later on she kissed me on

the jaw because I was to scared to 

make the first move.  Good luck my friend 

and I hope it ends well like it did for me.

We been married now going on 27 years 

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