Jump to content
Sign in to follow this  
Stand_alone

Lost in Self with Life

Recommended Posts

I feel with my age, in a month, another year goes by that I have to remind myself that this is this age for a year. My parents and brothers think wrongly that I am older than my actual age. I gave up correcting them. And a birthday is not a happy moment.

I work in a low paying job, likely a temp job, where length of  hours could be determined by productivity and project availability.  I have anxiety worrying I will be sent home early. I feel tired when I get home. My Dad suggests an example of landing a gov job is land a janitorial job and wait for better positions.

I feel with every passing day, my knowledge from my early days is fading where when I try to recollect something, I am unsure. It feels I lost part of myself. I do not know who I am anymore. 

Friends come and go in life, and mostly I am alone.

I fear in a year, I will be homeless. Seeing  the area where I work the mass ppl with mental problems on the street makes me feel I could be one of them.

I have contemplated an elaborate suicide if I can’t stand living homeless for the rest of the life. I was told how bad it is, worse as a single woman.

For someone who has much negativity upon myself I feel I will never get out of this constant mentality. I am thinking less of myself.

I will probably say all what I typed when I see a psychologist next month, probably will give me meds as the solution.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I’m sorry to hear that things aren’t  going 

so, well for you right now.  Hang in there 

my friend and things can begin to change 

for you.  But first, you need to try to think 

🤔 better thoughts for yourself because 

there is Life and Death in the Power of

your tongue 😛.  Try to see yourself 

Progressing out of your current condition 

and it could happen with time.  I’m a

believer that our lives can change if we 

Believe it can change for the Good 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

 Hi and welcome, Stand_alone.

     I am so very sorry you are suffering! 

     Painful tendinitis in my hands prevents me from typing for long about your very difficult and stressful situation but there is something I would like to tell you.  I've been on these Forums for over six years and in that time, many people have told me that posts like the one you just wrote have not only helped them feel less alone with their own personal anguish and pain, but have literally saved their lives.  And I have experienced that too.

     Your post today will actually save lives and that is one of the greatest if not the greatest thing a human being can accomplish in life.  So I think you are a great person.  I can only look up to you in profound gratitude and respect.  You tower above the personal difficulties you face.  You shine even in darkness!  

      Saving even a single human life can redeem a person's entire life and there is an old saying that goes:  "Whoever helps to save a single life, it is as if that person had saved the entire world."  You are such a person to me.  I only hope we can be as helpful to you as you have been to us.  I wish I could write more but the pain in my hands is getting too much for me.   Thank you so, so much for your post! ! !

- epictetus

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Thanks for the kind words yet I don’t know how I am of help to people here when I can’t even help myself.

Today is my only day off. Perhaps it is my only postive day of the week- no work and I take free rec classes in the city. 

I have difficulty with a friend of yrs who I met online and even irl. Sad to say, friendships does not last forever. Yes, I heard from many, online friendship is not stable. What gave us common interests does not cement us anymore.  I am just a name on this person’s 300+ online friend list. I realize that since I am not part of a designated group of association, I get ignored in responses. Some ppl in such groups can be rude and vulgar. I feel any person I met become just acquaintances. I’ve been trying to permanently remove out this friend who I know for years, it is hard.  This is part of my depression. 

This job I feel is unstable and I don’t know if there will be work in Nov and onward. I believe all the jobs I applied for with high hopes end up with rejection.

This negativity  makes me feel I can’t do anything. My feeling today.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
On 9/28/2018 at 3:40 PM, Stand_alone said:

I feel with my age, in a month, another year goes by that I have to remind myself that this is this age for a year. My parents and brothers think wrongly that I am older than my actual age. I gave up correcting them. And a birthday is not a happy moment.

I work in a low paying job, likely a temp job, where length of  hours could be determined by productivity and project availability.  I have anxiety worrying I will be sent home early. I feel tired when I get home. My Dad suggests an example of landing a gov job is land a janitorial job and wait for better positions.

I feel with every passing day, my knowledge from my early days is fading where when I try to recollect something, I am unsure. It feels I lost part of myself. I do not know who I am anymore. 

Friends come and go in life, and mostly I am alone.

I fear in a year, I will be homeless. Seeing  the area where I work the mass ppl with mental problems on the street makes me feel I could be one of them.

I have contemplated an elaborate suicide if I can’t stand living homeless for the rest of the life. I was told how bad it is, worse as a single woman.

For someone who has much negativity upon myself I feel I will never get out of this constant mentality. I am thinking less of myself.

I will probably say all what I typed when I see a psychologist next month, probably will give me meds as the solution.

I relate to this. I hate seeing another birthday and having nothing to show for it. What's worse is, I feel the same about my memory. One day, I just woke up and realised that all the things I used to know about my past life weren't clear any more; memories that I recalled perfectly seemed hazy and far away. It was weird, and sad, and I also felt like I had lost part of myself. I know that many other people also have this experience, so you're not alone!

Why is homelessness a possible problem? Does your family not want you in the house anymore? Or is it just to hard to live with them?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
Sign in to follow this  

×