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Four years ago today


Tilted

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Four years ago today I was hospitalized for the first time for severe panic. It seemed like a good idea at the time - and maybe it would've helped if it had happened earlier. But instead it ended up making things much, much worse. I was at a crossroads, and the path I chose (and/or was coerced) to take ended up turning what was a temporary crisis into a permanent one.

Since then I have learned far more about depression, anhedonia and "treatment" than I would ever care to know. I am worse off now in every way than I was then, and I've lost hope for any sort of real recovery. I can't wait until this life is over.

Edited by Tilted
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I'm so sorry to hear this Tilted, I know many of us can relate to your story. I feel like so much of mental health treatment is unsettled and nebulous and it's just so frustrating. We're suppose to just go to therapy for a while and make some life changes and then everything will be alright, but it just doesn't work that way.

Sorry I haven't been in the chatroom lately

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I guess i have a very unpopular opinion, but i dont think any anxiety - depression problems are totally cured, like take pills for a week, and your cold is gone. It's something you learn to manage, and work around. You learn your issues with therapy, books, etc, take meds to help, and do things to work around the condition to have a " normal" life. I think people want a quick fix, but im not sure there is one. Its like being born with any other disability, you work around it, or hide in your room and do nothing but exist. Think of the guys in wheelchairs doing marathons, or the ones with a fake leg running. They power forward no matter what. Stop crying about the condition and keep going forward. It takes work. 

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On 9/22/2018 at 9:37 AM, Steveab63 said:

I guess i have a very unpopular opinion, but i dont think any anxiety - depression problems are totally cured, like take pills for a week, and your cold is gone. It's something you learn to manage, and work around. You learn your issues with therapy, books, etc, take meds to help, and do things to work around the condition to have a " normal" life. I think people want a quick fix, but im not sure there is one. Its like being born with any other disability, you work around it, or hide in your room and do nothing but exist. Think of the guys in wheelchairs doing marathons, or the ones with a fake leg running. They power forward no matter what. Stop crying about the condition and keep going forward. It takes work. 

Keep going forward and it takes work are good advice and appropriate words of support. Telling someone to stop crying is a fukking dikk thing to say, so I created an account to say Fukk you. Fukk people like you, dikk. Don't bother replying. I won't ever see it. I was just surfing the Internet reading what people say to each other about stuff. Fukk you and everyone like you.

Edited by Just This
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On ‎9‎/‎21‎/‎2018 at 8:28 PM, Tilted said:

Four years ago today I was hospitalized for the first time for severe panic. It seemed like a good idea at the time - and maybe it would've helped if it had happened earlier. But instead it ended up making things much, much worse. I was at a crossroads, and the path I chose (and/or was coerced) to take ended up turning what was a temporary crisis into a permanent one.

Since then I have learned far more about depression, anhedonia and "treatment" than I would ever care to know. I am worse off now in every way than I was then, and I've lost hope for any sort of real recovery. I can't wait until this life is over.

My friend it can be very difficult on this side sometimes but I just want to let you

know that your life is more benefit full than what you give yourself credit for.  Even

just right now you have helped other forum members to just cope for one more day

through your post.  You are very valuable to me and a whole lot more of us.  There is

strength in unity and that is what you are helping to do for us.  Making each one of

us stronger by every post you do.  Hang in there my friend   

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@Tilted Some anniversary, eh?

I have no sage advice or insight. I'm feeling my way through the dark too. There are a bunch of us here doing the very same thing. There's a degree of comfort in realizing that I suppose, but I'm sorry anyone else has to go through this sh!t. It sucks grievously.

I think Steveab63 has a point...we have a disability. It's every bit as debilitating as a physical disability. In a way, it might be even worse because there seems to be nothing wrong with us on the surface. We look "functional" to outside observers.

Ha.

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Well, like everyone else in my life, you took what i said the wrong way. I should be used to it by now....i didnt mean stop crying about it...as in "get over it", or "man up" etc. That obviously doesnt help, and we've all hear that from people that dont understand. My point was to not let it take over your life, resign yourself to it, and give up trying to improve. I do however think for a lot of us its a constant thing to keep working on it. Like i said, for me it has not been, take a pill, get cured, done. Its been constantly learning about myself and how to deal with depression.

Sorry if you misunderstood my intent, or if you simply disagree and have a penchant for attacking people. Whatever.

Hope you feel better.

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1 hour ago, Steveab63 said:

Well, like everyone else in my life, you took what i said the wrong way. I should be used to it by now....i didnt mean stop crying about it...as in "get over it", or "man up" etc. That obviously doesnt help, and we've all hear that from people that dont understand. My point was to not let it take over your life, resign yourself to it, and give up trying to improve. I do however think for a lot of us its a constant thing to keep working on it. Like i said, for me it has not been, take a pill, get cured, done. Its been constantly learning about myself and how to deal with depression.

Sorry if you misunderstood my intent, or if you simply disagree and have a penchant for attacking people. Whatever.

Hope you feel better.

Yeh i understood thats what you meant and yeh its true, depression is something you have to live with. Theres no "cure" and youre done. But it can get better.

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@Steveab63 - You didn't specify in your response who you were replying to, but I'm assuming your message (quoted below) was directed at the user with the name 'Just This' and not at me. I don't want to escalate things here, but since I am the one who originated this thread in the first place it seems appropriate for me to respond. 

I'm glad that you clarified your intention, and I hope that something can be learned from this exchange.

Although I expect that you meant well, everything else you might have been trying to express is basically invalidated by the words "stop crying".  I think almost anyone would chafe at these words, especially when they are trying to air some grievances. And to tell anyone on a depression forum to "stop crying" is inappropriate in too many ways to mention. I don't know who 'Just This' is - and I can see how their response might be considered vulgar or excessive - but I have to admit I had a similar reaction to theirs when I read what you wrote.

If "everyone else in [your] life" takes what you say the wrong way, maybe it is time to try and modify the way you communicate. For example, you seem to be wanting to offer an apology - but then you follow it up with "Whatever..." which makes it sound a lot less sincere.

 

On 9/28/2018 at 7:02 PM, Steveab63 said:

Well, like everyone else in my life, you took what i said the wrong way. I should be used to it by now....i didnt mean stop crying about it...as in "get over it", or "man up" etc. That obviously doesnt help, and we've all hear that from people that dont understand. My point was to not let it take over your life, resign yourself to it, and give up trying to improve. I do however think for a lot of us its a constant thing to keep working on it. Like i said, for me it has not been, take a pill, get cured, done. Its been constantly learning about myself and how to deal with depression.

Sorry if you misunderstood my intent, or if you simply disagree and have a penchant for attacking people. Whatever.

Hope you feel better.

 

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1 hour ago, Tilted said:

@Steveab63 - You didn't specify in your response who you were replying to, but I'm assuming your message (quoted below) was directed at the user with the name 'Just This' and not at me. I don't want to escalate things here, but since I am the one who originated this thread in the first place it seems appropriate for me to respond. 

I'm glad that you clarified your intention, and I hope that something can be learned from this exchange.

Although I expect that you meant well, everything else you might have been trying to express is basically invalidated by the words "stop crying".  I think almost anyone would chafe at these words, especially when they are trying to air some grievances. And to tell anyone on a depression forum to "stop crying" is inappropriate in too many ways to mention. I don't know who 'Just This' is - and I can see how their response might be considered vulgar or excessive - but I have to admit I had a similar reaction to theirs when I read what you wrote.

If "everyone else in [your] life" takes what you say the wrong way, maybe it is time to try and modify the way you communicate. For example, you seem to be wanting to offer an apology - but then you follow it up with "Whatever..." which makes it sound a lot less sincere.

 

 

Well, guys I'm sorry there was some misunderstanding but I'm glad that this

matter is now water under the bridge and we can all go on trying to encourage

motivate and inspire one another in a positive way,  

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