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I am not sure if this is appropriate or not but I really want to know if anyone saw the movie Love, Simon?  I just saw it and I thought it was a really good movie.  I tend to not watch movies about millenials but I recognized the main actor Nick Robinson from Melissa and Joey and thought I'd check it out.  I was just wondering if anyone hear who is homosexual thought it was a good movie and a good portrayal of someone who is homosexual and young growing up today.  I fell in love Simon just others did...not literally but he's someone that I could fall for.  He's kind to others.  He could have gotten into a lot of fights but didn't.  Nick is technically young enough to be my son.  Yikes!  I don't want to spoil it for everyone but I definitely recommend the movie.   What do you guys think?  I really hope I get a response to this one.  Noone seems to ever respond to things I post that aren't in the main forum that I've been posting to for about a year now.  Hope everyone is good and hopefully these hurricanes will stop...I've heard really sad stuff.  I wish there was something I could do...get my church to send canned food or something.  Oh well.  All I can do is pray that no more people die and people get what they need to survive and live their lives.

starbucksjunkee

 

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I know the gist of the movie although I didn't see it.  As I understand the plot, it doesn't particularly reflect my own horrible experiences that included molestation by an adult who took advantage of my isolation in struggling with my sexuality.  Perhaps someone else (younger!) can opine on how realistic it is in today's environment.

I'm glad the movie was made by a major studio, however.  The struggles of LGBT youth won't get through to everyone, but it knocks the conversation up a notch.  From a DF perspective (and mine), it's important the kids have positive characters/role models if they're struggling.  Theirs is a population particularly hard hit by suicide.  One of the best ways I can advocate for the kids, as I've often done here, is encouraging them to visit The Trevor Project (https://www.thetrevorproject.org/) for help that includes a 24/7 crisis line.

(Link subject to mods' approval)

Edited by MarkintheDark

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Don't get me wrong...I have lesbian friends and know many men who are gay so I don't have a problem with it but well, umm... my soon to be 18 year old niece has never seen the movie but I hope she does...I don't know any other young people I can ask except her brother and her mom might not like it.  Her mother thinks she is bisexual but I don't believe it.  She says she loves everyone...well, that's nice but does she really want to be with women in that way?  That's what bisexual means to me.  I think some women look better than men but I don't want to have sex with women and I don't stare at them.  Does that mean I'm gay?  I always feel like I was born in the wrong century because I can't stand to see people wearing next to nothing and exposing so much skin.  When I see women in thongs I want to throw up.  And more and more skin is exposed.  Even when I went to private school for 7 years the girls would roll up their skirts to make them shorter.   I guess I'm old fashioned.

 

 

 

Edited by starbucksjunkee

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Most importantly, I think your niece's sexuality is her business.  IF/when she chooses to come out to her aunt that's entirely her decision.  At that time, certainly you can be supportive of her decision IF she chooses to share it with you. 

I'd be careful you don't confuse your own issues, morality, etc., with hers, e.g., "that's nice but does she really want to be with women in that way?"  To my old, experienced gay ears which have heard that phrase so many times that clearly indicates discomfort, possibly repulsion, on your part ("When I see women in thongs I want to throw up").  Your niece doesn't need to hear that and particularly not from a family member.  It's the kind of phrase that's been used for decades to shame LGBT folk, similar to, "the sex that dare not speak its name."

That's to say, keep it simple.  Let her take the lead on discussions...IF any.  IF the discussion comes up - it may not - the best you can do is listen...and without judgment, sexual, religious, moral or otherwise.  Perhaps Google "coming out guide for parents."  And, if there's a chapter in your area, you and/or Mom might considered a meeting of PFLAG (Parents and Friends of Lesbians and Gays).  You'll get the story from both sides.

Despite their apparent sophistication, sexuality can still be a loaded topic for teens.  Whatever their sexuality, most are still figuring it out.  They'll recognize any adult's discomfort or phoniness immediately.   That applies to both extremes.  Trying to be too helpful will just embarrass both of you.

It's a tall order, but if your support can't be unconditional then, imo, it's best you stay out.

Edited by MarkintheDark

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Mark,

I totally respect what you're saying.  Don't worry.  I'm not going to ask my niece about her sexuality.  I am afraid to ask her anything frankly because she is so distant and cold most of the time.  I never get any alone time with her anymore.  We used to be buddies but she has grown up and doesn't need me anymore.  I just hate it when my sister says stuff about her because I never know if it's really true or not.  My sister lies or exaggerates all the time about everything.  She's in denial that anything is wrong with her even though she is so mean and my niece copies her.  They both will say something and I will say did you mean this and they'll contradict themselves.  It drives me crazy because I always think a lot before I speak and they don't think at all. 

I just was trying to understand what my niece is thinking about these days.  I was totally boy crazy back then but now I am totally not.  I don't even know how to flirt...I just talk about neutral topics...I don't have a problem with it at all though if she's gay she's gay.  I'm just curious about it.  I probably shouldn't have posted my thoughts to the forum because I can tell I made myself sound worse than I am.  I have lots of friends who are gay.  I used to have a problem with it but then my friend asked me if I chose to be the way I am (a person with multiple mental illnesses).  And then I finally got it!  It's just like a different personality than mine...and I think everyone should be kind to everyone...no matter what race, religion, whatever.  And I have friends from all walks of life...Although I have to admit...a certain political figure has really ticked me off lately and I would have a very hard time being kind to him.  I pray for him every Sunday in church.

I loved the movie and so did my bff but we're both much older than the characters in the movie and heterosexual.  I just wanted to know what she thought because it's not my generation.  The actor is 15 years younger than me...technically I could be his mother!  I don't know what this generation is like.  I do volunteer work with kids and so far it's been a really crappy experience and I don't know why!  It's like the kids don't take me seriously at all and they act like they know everything and I'm just some stupid adult that happens to be there with them.  I am supposed to supervise them and they don't respect me at all.  If I saw a man in a thong I'd be grossed out too but I've never seen any!  I just think thongs are gross.  Period.  I would be happy to attend PFLAG...but I don't really think I need it...I just want to understand my niece better so I don't have to hear stuff from my sister that could be a bunch of lies.  I hope you understand and believe me because it's very hard for me to open up like this online.  I often get misunderstood but I don't  have anyone right now except my parents...my friends are really far away except for this club and a bunch of old people in church I have no one right now that I can call every day and count on.  I'm sorry if I came off sounding like an anti gay person  because that was never my intent.

Starbucksjunkee

 

 

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