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Buhduh

Sat around for too long, recently started taking drugs

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I'm depressed.  I must be, I can't even motivate myself to shave most days.  When not working, I sit in my empty apartment and stare at a computer screen.  I'm doing it now, high.  Always been a heavy drinker.  I made a bad decision a couple of months ago and started doing coke.  Now I sit around my apartment, telling myself I won't do it again.  Once I'm a six pack deep, I cave and get some.  I must be self medicating.  Other than depression, I don't believe I have anything wrong with me.  Ironically, I've turned my nose at anti-depressants.  I always felt I didn't need drugs, though never saw the irony of buying a six pack.  Now, here I am 5 in the ****ing morning and I have to be at work in five hours, ****ing high.

I guess I'm reaching out, I don't really have friends, and certainly not friends I would ever let know how bad things have gotten.  What have other visitors here done to get over this?  I'm going to take some anti-depressants, I've decided.  This lifestyle will **** me, and frankly isn't really worth living.  I'm not suicidal, but I know life can be better.  Help.

Edited by Buhduh

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My friend your situation sounds so common among us depressed people.

You are trying to self medicate yourself to make your blues go away.  We

all use some form of substances or stuff to try to get over our problems

that we face on a daily basis.  It sounds like you need to get some

professional help before you get to far out there.  It's nothing to be a shame

about because it happens to the best of us.  Just go seek some help so that

you might be able to manage your life better when you get in those depressed

mode.

 

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Buhduh: I understand where you're coming from! There's a high chance you are self-medicating, but I think that if you are doing that, it might work better to take an SSRI instead, since they are designed to treat depression. I definitely think you'd be making the right decision.  Antidepressants may not work for everyone, but there's no point not trying them instead of depressing your system with too many drinks.

I'm not sure if this will help, but I hope you can find a solution.

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On 9/17/2018 at 1:38 PM, Buhduh said:

I'm depressed.  I must be, I can't even motivate myself to shave most days.  When not working, I sit in my empty apartment and stare at a computer screen.  I'm doing it now, high.  Always been a heavy drinker.  I made a bad decision a couple of months ago and started doing coke.  Now I sit around my apartment, telling myself I won't do it again.  Once I'm a six pack deep, I cave and get some.  I must be self medicating.  Other than depression, I don't believe I have anything wrong with me.  Ironically, I've turned my nose at anti-depressants.  I always felt I didn't need drugs, though never saw the irony of buying a six pack.  Now, here I am 5 in the ****ing morning and I have to be at work in five hours, ****ing high.

I guess I'm reaching out, I don't really have friends, and certainly not friends I would ever let know how bad things have gotten.  What have other visitors here done to get over this?  I'm going to take some anti-depressants, I've decided.  This lifestyle will **** me, and frankly isn't really worth living.  I'm not suicidal, but I know life can be better.  Help.

It doesnt seem like you have any issues apart from depression as you said. The depression is not a major issue, you can learn to control it and subdue it. Antidepressants can help, a solution to the depression, is also confronting it. whatever makes you feel depressed you need to combat it and bring closure if possible on it. It is not good to have alcohol and make mental health medication. You need to leave the drinking behind. It also can have an effect on your mood. I dont drink heavy i havent done so for years. 

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Imho, stick to the legal kind. I got prescribed dextroamphetamine, and I would not make it through a lot of days without this stuff.. Or maybe I would, but I'd never be happy, never feel happy, never feel ambitious or hopeful. When things get bad and drugs are all that work, do what you gotta to get ya through the day.. but on a personal note, I'd say drop the booze and stay away from coke/crack/oxies. Although I think drugs are generally addictive, amphetamines at least make ya feel good enough to do something with your life, and don't destroy your personality in the process, or make you stupidly paranoid. Although you may find yourself bursting out into insane laughter, lol.. Moderation is the key. Never 'chase the dragon'. Think of it like, some happiness is better than none.

Oxies in my experience are a 'be useless' drug. A drug you take if you want to sit back in your seat, or lye back in bed, stare at the walls/ceiling, and do NOTHING with your life.  While I'm not the type that believes people need to 'contribute to society' in order to have value in this world; I do still think that people should at least be progressive and try to accomplish their own ambitions, even if it's only on an artistic level.

And yes, I do recommend meth over booze. There's two types of drunks I've known, huggy drunks that are all over you and force you to smell their nasty beer breath, and angry/violent drunks, that pick fights with you. There's talky drunks too, but those will generally fit into one of the first two categories. Neither one are too coordinated or likely to do anything useful with their lives.

Although alcohol is seen as the better option (generally), and totally not a gateway drug (is totally, and obviously, as proven here, the worst gateway drug). It is mostly only glorified because it's taxable, and was widely used long before it was able to be cleanly abolished from use in civilized society.

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