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How Do I Console My Sibling who just witnessed another Human being take away their own life


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My sibling has had it rough lately. Well more like his entire life has been pretty rough to deal with but he has always had the will and strength to continue and be proactive. 

Today however was complete nightmare as it started with his car breaking down then having to use his Bike to get to work then coming out and seeing his bike stolen. Now he went home and he said he was in his room just relaxing when he hears a sound that sounded like a firework and he looks out at the window and as he does he sees a man in his yard under a tree and he sees him slump down and his eyes roll back and he ran downstairs and his roommate ran down too and they just opened the door and quickly closed it and the roommate told him not to go out because there was a lot of Blood Everywhere . My brother call 911 and  couldnt even complete the call so his rommate took over. The police came and they asked some question and he just called me crying and shaking telling me the whole story. Now im just worried and scared because I dont know how to help him get through this trauma. He has been suicidal himself and has  battled with thoughts of ending his own life. He has had depression , anxiety and dissociation and his whole life and now he just witness and made sho ot himself in the head . Idk what to do for him or what to say. He just kept asking me "Why did this have to happen in my yard ??? why couldnt I stop it ??? why did I have to see that ??? why did do it here " and he cried some more. I ofcouse think he should see a theraphist but has tried to see one but it didnt work out and hasnt had any luck finding a theraphist in his area. It sucks because we live in two different states so I cant even be there for him to console him 😞 

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oh my goodness, I truly can't even imagine how hard this must be for him (and you). I'd imagine that he'll be dealing with some serious trauma after all of that. It so sweet of you to be so caring and wanting to help him. If you were able to help find him a counselor in his area, think he'd be receptive? I have a link that could be helpful if you'd be interested? I'll be saying a prayer for both your brother during this difficult time and you as you attempt to best guide him.

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One of my many fears is seeing something I cannot unsee.  But never to this magnitude, my goodness my thoughts and prayers go to your brother and to you, his caring sister.  I agree with SillySally43 on helping him find a counselor, a therapist.  And, know that the first 2 therapists may not work, or be who your brother needs but please tell him to hang in there.  I went through a couple, hung in there and found one who to this day really showed me that therapist can be truly compassionate.  I hope your brother finds compassion in a therapist and can help him process that awful scene and experience.  He deserves peace of mind.  And it's wonderful seeing how much you love him.

Edited by HeatherG
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Some church Ministers also counsel people, who have witness or gone through a traumatizing

event or seeing one in this case.  So, if he can not get a therapist to see him perhaps one of

your friends near by can contact a local church in his area that counsel victims of family members

who have witness a crime or seen the after affect of a crime.

  

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On 9/17/2018 at 2:29 PM, Floor2017 said:

Some church Ministers also counsel people, who have witness or gone through a traumatizing

event or seeing one in this case.  So, if he can not get a therapist to see him perhaps one of

your friends near by can contact a local church in his area that counsel victims of family members

who have witness a crime or seen the after affect of a crime.

  

Thank you for that suggestion! I have had mixed experiences with that but Also really good ones! There was a time the church by my house helped me get through a really rough patch. However my brother is Gay and has had bad experiences with Churches so he doesnt feel comfortable going to them especially not for that 😞 

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On 9/17/2018 at 1:44 PM, SillySally43 said:

oh my goodness, I truly can't even imagine how hard this must be for him (and you). I'd imagine that he'll be dealing with some serious trauma after all of that. It so sweet of you to be so caring and wanting to help him. If you were able to help find him a counselor in his area, think he'd be receptive? I have a link that could be helpful if you'd be interested? I'll be saying a prayer for both your brother during this difficult time and you as you attempt to best guide him.

Thank you so much! for your kind words! and yes the link would be helpful! 🙂❤️ 

 

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On 9/17/2018 at 1:55 PM, HeatherG said:

One of my many fears is seeing something I cannot unsee.  But never to this magnitude, my goodness my thoughts and prayers go to your brother and to you, his caring sister.  I agree with SillySally43 on helping him find a counselor, a therapist.  And, know that the first 2 therapists may not work, or be who your brother needs but please tell him to hang in there.  I went through a couple, hung in there and found one who to this day really showed me that therapist can be truly compassionate.  I hope your brother finds compassion in a therapist and can help him process that awful scene and experience.  He deserves peace of mind.  And it's wonderful seeing how much you love him.

Me too I share that same fear 😞 I have had some traumas in my life from 15+ years a go and they still haunt me to this day and they sometimes flash before me. I cant imagine seeing something like that in person at this age since im not a very strong person. I think he should see a theraphist too ! he has said that he is looking for one and I belive he might have an appointment already! thank you for your kind words and im to hear you found a good theraphist ❤️ 

 

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