Jump to content

I Can't Handle Stress - Feel Extremely Anxious, Overwhelmed, and Alone


Recommended Posts

I have always had some degree of anxiety. I've probably managed to hide it well from others, but I feel like I'm falling apart. At one point, it seemed like things were getting better. In the past, I've dealt with OCD issues, social anxiety, fear of dying, nervousness, etc. In my later 20s (I'm 30 now), I felt that I was starting to improve. In 2017, my mother got very sick. I don't know why, but the experience triggered something inside of me. I guess I could call it "health anxiety." I worry everyday about health related issues and can't seem to relax. I'm always concerned about something happening to a family member, and I can't deal with losing anyone. I don't have any friends and really have no purpose in life. My mom is back in the hospital, and I'm so stressed. I feel extremely fragile right now, like I'm close to having a nervous breakdown. I think the worst about everything, and it amplifies my stress level. I keep trying to tell myself to think positively, and soon enough, she will be home. My OCD issues seem to be in overdrive. I have this irrational fear that I could do something that would negatively affect her test results. It's mainly about not doing something "right" and causing bad luck (ie. choosing the wrong bottle of water from the refrigerator, not wearing the correct clothes, not putting my seatbelt on properly - the list is endless). I have to constantly redo mundane tasks, which is time-consuming and creates additional, unneeded stress. I know it makes no sense, but I can't seem to stop it. Can anyone relate, or has anyone been through something similar? I don't know what is wrong with me or why I've become like this. Sometimes I think that I'm being punished for not being a better person, even though I'm trying to do the best that I can.

Edited by chris87
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Youre not being punished, though it can certainly seem like it sometimes. The realization that parents arent going to be around forever is a scary one for sure. Try not to stress about it, i seriously doubt anything you do is going to change her diagnosis. 

I find the best thing to do is to keep busy with things so you cant sit and imagine all of the possibilities that stress you out.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Well my friend sometimes when people we care about get ill or something bad

happens to them we begin to question ourselves as if we could have change

things and the situation might come out different.  But, in reality there is nothing

any of us can do to help change the outcome of life.  So, my friend lighten up

on yourself because I'm sure you probably have done all you can and it is not

your fault that bad things sometimes happen to good people.  It is just life.

Hang in there my friend and if you need to go get something for anxiety or

stress from your doctor.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I'm sorry you're going through this. I've had times where I've felt like this as well. When my mom first got sick, it felt like everything in my life was falling apart. I kept obsessing over all the bad things that could happen and driving myself crazy. All I can tell you is that these feelings don't help and trying to rationalize and let go will give you an easier time. Hopefully they will go away at some point, and in the meantime I hope you can find some outlet that will help you deal with it --preferably something that can get your mind off things, even if temporarily. I know  you said you don't have any friends to talk to, but do you have access to a therapist or someone like that to confide in? When I was going through my stuff, I was seeing a therapist at a community health clinic and she was a godsend. Or maybe you can just write things down like you did here, even start a blog on DF. Good luck to you.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Hi chris87! I can so relate. I struggle with OCD among other things and it was getting really back until I saw a good therapist who also suggested that I see a psychiatrist who helped me find a med that would work for me. There are some good ones for OCD. I still have some issues yet it is much better. It is such a hard place to be when you feel you can't stop it. Hope you will get some help. Keep posting and let us know how you are doing.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Hi Chris. Although I don't have any OCD issues, my ex wife of 13 years developed many OCD traits. I understand what races through your head, and these thoughts can become overwhelming, simply because there is so much extra time to do so. I tried to help my ex reason with her obsessions, but that only triggered emotional retaliations. I understand the motivations and machinations that can perpetuate this, and you have to reassure yourself that you will be ok. I used to worry about so many things that I developed several ulcers. I've had to learn to let go, and find things to keep myself occupied. It's ok to be concerned for your mother. My father passed away almost 20 years ago and my mother is 76 and her health is not so good anymore. All I can do is help when I can, be there for her, and try to keep a positive outlook. I find things I'm interested in, and research them so I can know more. Second guessing yourself can turn in to more complicated things later on, so learning more about the things you have doubt about will help you to make better decisions without regretting them.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Hi Chris. I am very sorry for what you are going thru. I can relate, and maybe we can get some strength from each other. I have had depression for 20+ years, and have been on Paxil and most recently Lexapro. But this year the anxiety came raging in, not sure what the trigger was. The pain in my chest, fast beating heart, could not relax, no appetite, no focus. Then it was gone as fast as it came. But, it came again just a week ago or so, when I got a new job. It is all consuming, worry, cannot shift away from thinking I am going to fail at the job. This was all in my first week, then I get a call that my 80 year old mom is in the hospital with stomach issues. We are waiting for lab results. Then just a few days later I get notice my dad is losing his cognitive abilities, and will need a caregiver soon. The combination of the job, and parental health is too much to bear. I am not sure how I am going to deal with it, especially a new job when I am worried about my parents now. My doctor prescribed Clonazepam and propranolol to get me thru, as I cannot sleep at all. This is my first night on them and I can feel my tight chest relaxing a bit. I feel sort of spacey too, which may be a problem at work. Just looking for some relief. Whatever can help get you thru this hard time. Thats that it is, a hard time, not forever. Things will get better, its just hard to see that form here. I will be leaning on my family and friends for sure, and the meds, until I feel I can start to stand on my own and recover.  You are not alone in these feelings, there are many of us out here like you, I hope this brings you some comfort hearing our stories and how we choose to cope. 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
×
×
  • Create New...