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Completely broken.


thisgur1

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Hi everyone. I'm a little apprehensive for writing in here. Well, here it goes....

 

Ive been typing here for a while but kept deleting it.

Long story short, i cant get over this guy who i have this strong attraction towards and tried to pursue. He has completely cut me off with no response and i am taking it really, really, hard. I wake every morning with complete sadness and this pain inside that just wont ever go away. Im in therapy and taking medication which was recently changed to help more towards my depression. How do i get over this person even though he has completely ignored me from total existence??!? I just want to cry but it doesnt come out...

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Hi, thank you for your responses. I have his number and i could tell him how bad i am feeling about this. But he will never pick up the phone or ever respond back to my texts. I asked him in person why he doesnt respond and his answer is: “ive just been very busy.”

He also told me that i shouldnt take it personally. But, how could i when it seemed like from the beginning that there was a spark of something? Its just not making any sense to me right now...

Everyday is the same broken feeling inside. Some days i think im getting better, other days it feels im getting worse. I want to go and just see him and tell him but the last time i saw him i could tell from his face that he didnt want me there. Total rejection and embarrassment felt. 

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I've been through this myself. The way I see it, if you pursue them and they basically blow you off, then I remind myself how much more tragic it would have been had it turned into a relationship, then this happened. The spark is hope, but when that spark flashes out, then their emotional commitment is already gone. It hurts now, but will hurt less over time than a bad break-up. Human relationships these days are really difficult. I have been debilitated by that broken/abandoned feeling, and it does get better.

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i hope it does get better but rn its just an overwhelming feeling in my chest and i jus feel broken. its jus driving me crazy that he will not respond to me. im too scared now to go and see him. his face w dissappointment. i know i should just take it and know that he just plain dont like me anymore... he said i shouldnt take it personally but how can i do that?

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I've been there, wow have I.  Looking back, I think I had to go through it -- I guess everybody goes through a heartbreak like the one you're feeling.  But, for someone who maybe prone to depression or is super sensitive, or for whatever reason it is something you can't let go, then being in therapy is the best thing you can do.  I'm not a professional at all in anyway, just a member on this site that hopes what I've gone through can help someone else.  I believe in therapy, I've had a bond with a therapist who truly showed me that I mattered.  This is crucial.

I've seen that someone like me, I feel unloved and empty so that one person who I needed to love me, when he couldn't or wouldn't, or stopped--it felt like my heart was physically ripped out.  Like, him not loving me affected my happiness.  I look back, and I don't know what stopped the pain.  But journaling, therapy, I just kept getting up and moving forward (I see as I look back), and one day the pain and longing went away.

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hi HeatherG, thank u for ur response. ive spoken to friends and a therapist so i guess all i can do is keep going. im still waking up with the broken feeling inside and it just wont go away... im too hung up on him but i know that i shouldnt let it affect me, but it really really is. 😭

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Hi, I am sorry you are going thru this. Like most of us here I have been there too and I can tell you the pain will go away. When I am on those kind of situations I always remind my self of a quote that goes "and this too shall pass". It reminds me that no matter how hard things are they eventually pass, we need to just hold on patiently. 

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i appreciate the quote. hopefully it will help for me as well. its just been such a struggle for me for some reason and its only a crush! but its hitting me hard only because of “what if” you know? i put so much effort but i guess its not enough or was just too much? my therapist told me to just stop trying to reach out to him so that i can heal. i did very good of not contacting him for a while but i relapsed last night when i had a bit to drink. i just kept apologizing for whatever i did to make him ignore me but my friend tells me that i should just accept it because he doesnt like me or is not interested in me anymore. its really leaving me broken 😣😢😭

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See it this way, he isn't worth your time, a dude that acts like that isn't worth anybody's time. You are much more worthy than pursuing somebody who can't appreciate you, if he doesn't want to be with you his loss not yours. You deserve much better and not a guy who doesn't care about you.

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Hello...I know how you feel.

I had an intense spark with someone and it made me feel so alive after feeling hopeless and angry and depressed for so long. I was completely infatuated with him and how he made me feel. It was addictive. But he dropped me as well soon as I brought up dating exclusively. 

It was so painful to cut the tie I had with him. I was always wanting to contact him. Especially on my lonely days. But I realized for my mental state...moving on is so much better than holding on to someone who does not want you and get hurt again and again. 

So I distracted myself. Whenever I had an urge to contact him i'd remember how he hurt me and then watch a show or write or listen to music..etc. Anything to distract the urge to make contact. 

I know it hurts especially when you felt something. Try to move on. Don't contact him. Distract yourself if you can. You deserve someone who reciprocates your affections. 

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thank u all for ur replies. ur words just hit me hard because its very very true. 😭 i do want to contact him and i want to go see him but i am just terrified of how he will react. i dont ever wanna see his face like the last time i saw him.... just completely empty. i have every hope that he will respond but once the day passes and no response from him, it gets me so sad and hurt. its been a few days since ive contacted him so its just a matter of time i guess. i always hope that he will reach back but its never gonna happen. ever. typing this down to u all is really hard to do. 😭

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Rejection from anyone just hurts on a fundamental level. It's easy to obsess over why you aren't good enough for them. What's wrong with you? is what my brain instantly goes to.  I'm having trouble telling myself this but it's easy to tell someone else 🙂 that likely this person would not have made a good a boyfriend/romantic partner if he was so quick to cut you off. But I get that that doesn't make it feel any better. It sucks to be alone, but I guess know you are not the only one going through this. So many people are lonely and get rejected by those they most want to connect with. Hang in there. 

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