salparadise6132 Posted October 29, 2018 Share Posted October 29, 2018 5 hours ago, jeremiah said: I'm sorry hiker. Just remember that so many of us out here feel the same way (millions?) So in a very big sense we aren't as alone as we feel. We feel like we're separate little lonely beasts when really we are one and the same big lonely beast hungry for love. Sending love to you LonelyHiker And hugs ...And what do they say? If you feel lonely, look at the moon because someone, somewhere will be looking at it too. So well put, jeremiah! Thank you!!!! 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
velvetpuddles Posted October 29, 2018 Share Posted October 29, 2018 I'm having a hard time falling asleep tonight. A really hard time. And all that's rattling around in my mind is how "exhausting" the idea of living is. When I'm alone with no distractions, these horrible thoughts are at full volume, and it's hard to be distracted when I'm trying to sleep. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
salparadise6132 Posted October 29, 2018 Share Posted October 29, 2018 1 hour ago, velvetpuddles said: I'm having a hard time falling asleep tonight. A really hard time. And all that's rattling around in my mind is how "exhausting" the idea of living is. When I'm alone with no distractions, these horrible thoughts are at full volume, and it's hard to be distracted when I'm trying to sleep. I know, VP, for us, living itself is exhausting. Such a struggle. I can't sleep either. I've been wondering if it is possible to continue, after so many years, with this deep seated loneliness that no human can fix. At least, I guess, I've come to that realization, finally - the one that acknowledges that no one can save me except myself. But how can I feel more apart of the world on my own? That is the question I have to answer - or else... 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JellyThou Posted October 29, 2018 Share Posted October 29, 2018 Help me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Floor2017 Posted October 29, 2018 Share Posted October 29, 2018 On 10/27/2018 at 4:13 PM, chucapabra said: tiredd Tired can be a good thing because it often is a sign that you been doing something 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Floor2017 Posted October 29, 2018 Share Posted October 29, 2018 1 hour ago, JellyThou said: Help me. I don’t know what is going on in your life but I hope and pray that everything get much better for you my friend 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Floor2017 Posted October 29, 2018 Share Posted October 29, 2018 4 hours ago, salparadise6132 said: I know, VP, for us, living itself is exhausting. Such a struggle. I can't sleep either. I've been wondering if it is possible to continue, after so many years, with this deep seated loneliness that no human can fix. At least, I guess, I've come to that realization, finally - the one that acknowledges that no one can save me except myself. But how can I feel more apart of the world on my own? That is the question I have to answer - or else... On yesterday evening I was reminded that I have to celebrate myself, because everybody don’t want to celebrate you. Begin to start celebrating yourself and patting yourself on the back for the simplies things because for us simple isnt so simple 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sober4life Posted October 29, 2018 Share Posted October 29, 2018 Today I will have to talk to the most toxic person in my life. I'm sick thinking about it. I'm sure the nightmares and barely sleeping will help. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JD4010 Posted October 29, 2018 Share Posted October 29, 2018 3 hours ago, JellyThou said: Help me. What's happening? Let us know and maybe we can help! 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nightjar Posted October 29, 2018 Share Posted October 29, 2018 I'm a creep. I'm a wierdo. What the hell am I doing here. I don't belong here. OK, so I nicked that off radiohead but it really sums it up for me today. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nightjar Posted October 29, 2018 Share Posted October 29, 2018 8 hours ago, salparadise6132 said: But how can I feel more apart of the world on my own? That is the question I have to answer - or else... I don't think we can. I think we need other people around us just as much as we need air. Animals alone don't function well either and we're not that far away from being a monkey. Lol. Apart from Buddha, Jesus et al. I don't believe we can be healthy when we are alone too much. We need people around us, in the fabric of our lives for all sorts of reasons...to feel safe, supported, to exercise our ability to relate to others, to soothe our ailments, teach us things etc etc etc...I'm sure the list is endless really. For those of us who are isolated to a certain extent I think it's pretty impossible to be healthy. I'm very isolated. I've always been different in so many ways and it's tough. I'm trying to learn what I can from this and to reach out and make connections, however small because it's these connections which keep us going. Never stop trying. Never give up. Eventually something good will be born out of this hell on earth that we are experiencing because we will not be able to sustain this level of ignorance for too much longer. Either that or we will become extinct. It will be over either way! We could be the last people on earth so we may as well go out in style and hold our heads up high! hugs to you today salparadise. 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sober4life Posted October 29, 2018 Share Posted October 29, 2018 1 hour ago, jeremiah said: I'm a creep. I'm a wierdo. What the hell am I doing here. I don't belong here. OK, so I nicked that off radiohead but it really sums it up for me today. It describes me every day of my life so far. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bellerose Posted October 29, 2018 Share Posted October 29, 2018 Surviving no longer seems like a choice Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kogent5 Posted October 29, 2018 Share Posted October 29, 2018 Wasted half of the day already on doctors visits. It's very nice that doctors can cancel your visit if you're a few minutes late but they have no issue with having you wait an hour and a half for your appointment 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BeyondWeary Posted October 29, 2018 Share Posted October 29, 2018 I feel lost and alone. I hate this illness that is so disabilitating yet I am expected to act normally and no disability is available. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MatthewPA Posted October 29, 2018 Share Posted October 29, 2018 I saw the therapist. She is very nice and calming, but didn't give many solutions yet. Hopefully in future visits. Still not feeling good. 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sober4life Posted October 29, 2018 Share Posted October 29, 2018 I had an awful day today but I invited a couple of boxes of my Klondike bar friends over to help me cope. 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JD4010 Posted October 29, 2018 Share Posted October 29, 2018 2 hours ago, BeyondWeary said: I feel lost and alone. I hate this illness that is so disabilitating yet I am expected to act normally and no disability is available. Yes. A hidden illness can be the worst. Everyone expects you to be "normal" because there are no physical signs of it. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kogent5 Posted October 29, 2018 Share Posted October 29, 2018 (edited) Missed one doctors appointment, had to wait an extra long time for another, and lost my expensive prescription sunglasses that I just replaced the lenses a few months ago. Today has been a great day. I want to cry but I can't so my insides feel like they're tight and suffocating instead. Edit: AAAAH I phoned a restaurant I ate at during lunch and they found my glasses! Less miserable for at least a lil bit! Seriously I have astigmatism and a high prescription, lenses are absurdly expensive. What a relief. Edited October 29, 2018 by Kogent5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
surfcaster Posted October 29, 2018 Share Posted October 29, 2018 relieved and sorry at the same time about therapy once again digging deeper into what i was thinking leading up to my suicide attempts, and not accepting vague answers, wanting to hear me say what caused the feelings and what those feelings were but i think it was more me admitting to myself what the real cause was Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Floor2017 Posted October 29, 2018 Share Posted October 29, 2018 1 minute ago, surfcaster said: relieved and sorry at the same time about therapy once again digging deeper into what i was thinking leading up to my suicide attempts, and not accepting vague answers, wanting to hear me say what caused the feelings and what those feelings were but i think it was more me admitting to myself what the real cause was I’m sorry my friend and I hope these issues soon passes you bye so that you can get on with enjoying yourself 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
surfcaster Posted October 29, 2018 Share Posted October 29, 2018 13 minutes ago, Floor2017 said: I’m sorry my friend and I hope these issues soon passes you bye so that you can get on with enjoying yourself its all part of the proccess i suppose, it will pass, its just hard, but life was never promissed to be easy 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Steveab63 Posted October 29, 2018 Share Posted October 29, 2018 These shorter days are really kicking my butt. Even though i live in the south, i can still picture all the trees that look dead- with no leaves, and the cold gray skies of my childhood up north this time of year. Just feels like death. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Floor2017 Posted October 29, 2018 Share Posted October 29, 2018 1 minute ago, surfcaster said: its all part of the proccess i suppose, it will pass, its just hard, but life was never promissed to be easy Well said my friend and I like your Spirit Of reality Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Floor2017 Posted October 29, 2018 Share Posted October 29, 2018 1 minute ago, Steveab63 said: These shorter days are really kicking my butt. Even though i live in the south, i can still picture all the trees that look dead- with no leaves, and the cold gray skies of my childhood up north this time of year. Just feels like death. Well, it does remind you of a new beginning and the ending of another. However, change can be a beautiful thing because everything gets a new chance to start over Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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