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20YearsandCounting

How Do You Feel Right Now #8

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I'm trying to find a way to be at peace with myself.  I never realized how important that part was until @salparadise6132brought this up.  I do need to be able to sit in silence and be able to rest.  This house needs to be made into a peaceful place otherwise I'm a ticking time bomb.  This house needs to become a safe happy place.  I live here and it's actually a very nice place.  

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Little better day yesterday as briefly had more money, but back to feeling more flat and depressed today.

Have been having a lot of aches and pains and it has been even harder to sleep. And I always worry about my health because of my bowels and sleep.

My doctor appointment is Tuesday where I will raise these concerns.

Edited by MatthewPA

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1 hour ago, ladysmurf said:

hate life..

I know how you feel.  I never seem to escape this nightmare.  I'm given hope sometimes but it's false hope to make the suffering worse.  See these things you can have shoved in my face and then they are taken away.

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5 hours ago, sober4life said:

I'm trying to find a way to be at peace with myself.  I never realized how important that part was until @salparadise6132brought this up.  I do need to be able to sit in silence and be able to rest.  This house needs to be made into a peaceful place otherwise I'm a ticking time bomb.  This house needs to become a safe happy place.  I live here and it's actually a very nice place.  

Yes, like a sanctuary indoors. A place to feel safe and be surrounded by creative things. I used to have a corner of my house as my sacred space. It was really calming and fun to do creative things in. 

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4 hours ago, MatthewPA said:

Little better day yesterday as briefly had more money, but back to feeling more flat and depressed today.

Have been having a lot of aches and pains and it has been even harder to sleep. And I always worry about my health because of my bowels and sleep.

My doctor appointment is Tuesday where I will raise these concerns.

Wish you well. Hope all goes good with your doctor. 

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My recent posts are because I am terrified of the coming winter.  I've never spent the winter alone.  I don't know if I'm strong enough for this.  It will take everything in me.  All signs point to mom never coming home and my family will leave me abandoned for sure.

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2 hours ago, sober4life said:

My recent posts are because I am terrified of the coming winter.  I've never spent the winter alone.  I don't know if I'm strong enough for this.  It will take everything in me.  All signs point to mom never coming home and my family will leave me abandoned for sure.

Been thinking on it for awhile what to say is I think you are stronger then you realize I know saying that don’t help much but you also have a lot of support on here when you need it 🙂 

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47 minutes ago, Devlinkyla said:

Been thinking on it for awhile what to say is I think you are stronger then you realize I know saying that don’t help much but you also have a lot of support on here when you need it 🙂 

It does help.  There are times where I seem very strong and other times I seem like a helpless child.  There is a side of me that is very strong but also a side that is very weak and vulnerable and deeply hurt.  It worries me.

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1 hour ago, Devlinkyla said:

Been thinking on it for awhile what to say is I think you are stronger then you realize I know saying that don’t help much but you also have a lot of support on here when you need it 🙂 

Our Sober is a very strong person!!!

Happy birthday, Devlinkyla!!!

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16 hours ago, sober4life said:

It does help.  There are times where I seem very strong and other times I seem like a helpless child.  There is a side of me that is very strong but also a side that is very weak and vulnerable and deeply hurt.  It worries me.

 I understand 

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