JD4010 Posted October 1, 2018 Share Posted October 1, 2018 4 hours ago, shio said: Funny you mentioned the biological heating units as I have 3 dogs that sleep with me every night. Could be five dogs but then I would have to sleep on the floor I'm amazed at how much room 2 cats can take up. I often wake up at the very edge of the bed, a centimeter away from tumbling to the floor. But I don't care. Free heat and great snuggles! 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Floor2017 Posted October 1, 2018 Share Posted October 1, 2018 1 hour ago, MtnDreams said: I’m feeling totally lost, useless, and wondering why I am still in this world. My family doesn’t really need me to be there except to keep them going financially. As long as I’m going to work each day they can live the life they would like to live. My work doesn’t need me because nobody really acknowledges or even understands what I do each day. And those are really only the two lives I have. So if my family and my employer don’t need me then what’s the point? You are more valuable to the world than you give yourself credit for, if it wasn't for you somebody on this forum would become more depress than what they usually are. You matter to me and so many more 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sober4life Posted October 1, 2018 Share Posted October 1, 2018 3 hours ago, Floor2017 said: I'm sorry to hear that my friend. Here's a 'HUG" FOR YOU Thank you. I love everyone here. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sober4life Posted October 1, 2018 Share Posted October 1, 2018 34 minutes ago, JD4010 said: Noooo! Not you! Look at what you have accomplished! Like I've said before, you are an inspiration for many of us here. I'm going through a very rough time right now. What I'm going through right now would break anyone. When I got sober I remembered my whole childhood. Everyone that ever did horrible abuse to me was revealed and it's too much for me to handle. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MarkintheDark Posted October 1, 2018 Share Posted October 1, 2018 41 minutes ago, JD4010 said: I'm amazed at how much room 2 cats can take up. So what do you do when Kitty decides the bed AND YOU are his property? Mine regularly takes possession of my hand while sleeping and there's hell to pay (in blood) if I dare move it. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JD4010 Posted October 1, 2018 Share Posted October 1, 2018 7 minutes ago, MarkintheDark said: So what do you do when Kitty decides the bed AND YOU are his property? Mine regularly takes possession of my hand while sleeping and there's hell to pay (in blood) if I dare move it. My arm looks like I'm a "user" from cat bites and claw marks. They're just being friendly, but wow! 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sober4life Posted October 1, 2018 Share Posted October 1, 2018 We had a big dog for a while and his playing hurt. His bites would draw blood sometimes and that was his playing. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Karolina1 Posted October 1, 2018 Share Posted October 1, 2018 3 hours ago, MtnDreams said: I’m feeling totally lost, useless, and wondering why I am still in this world. My family doesn’t really need me to be there except to keep them going financially. As long as I’m going to work each day they can live the life they would like to live. My work doesn’t need me because nobody really acknowledges or even understands what I do each day. And those are really only the two lives I have. So if my family and my employer don’t need me then what’s the point? Do you need to feel needed in order to feel Worthy to live on this Earth? I mean lots of things that are not worthy live on this Earth... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bellerose Posted October 2, 2018 Share Posted October 2, 2018 It's been a bit so I've decided to post to reflect. I'm in a good place overall. I'm feeling fine, I have good things coming my way, I have proven to myself that anxiety thoughts are just thoughts and not reality. I have to remind myself of that. I have good relationships, good friends, and am starting to become closer to people who I've known for quite some time. I have good feelings about most things at the moment. I'm scared for when it'll leave, but I'm hoping that by reflecting I can enjoy it more. I think it's working. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sober4life Posted October 2, 2018 Share Posted October 2, 2018 For a while I felt really good and was feeling so hopeful about things. I really believed things would work out but all of that is gone now. I sit around this time of night every day crying trying to think of anything I can do to make things better but I'm hopeless really. I have to go to sleep have nightmares and wake up to a nightmare day after day. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
salparadise6132 Posted October 2, 2018 Share Posted October 2, 2018 17 hours ago, sober4life said: I've lost all hope at this point. I love you sober. You are such a good and caring spirit. I hope Hope returns, my friend. Because I don't want to be here without you!!!! 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sober4life Posted October 2, 2018 Share Posted October 2, 2018 7 hours ago, salparadise6132 said: I love you sober. You are such a good and caring spirit. I hope Hope returns, my friend. Because I don't want to be here without you!!!! I love you too. I love all of you here very much! That's the sweetest thing anyone has ever said to me. I would do anything for the people here. I'm to the point where I don't know what to do to help myself anymore. I'm to the point where I can't go any farther. I feel it's going to take a miracle for me now. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RiverLight Posted October 2, 2018 Share Posted October 2, 2018 Very nervous about changes I made to a client's website. I am praying their traffic goes up as a result, but it's tricky and I am not sure if what I did will work. ARGH. Sometimes my work makes me crazy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MarkintheDark Posted October 2, 2018 Share Posted October 2, 2018 Not a full-on anxiety attack (yet) this morning, but it could go that way. Woke up in the middle of the night for a couple hours, tried to fight off the anxiety and even indulged in ideation before falling back asleep for a couple hours. Although I managed quite a bit yesterday - and even took a couple nap breaks - it feels like I didn't do enough. Weird thing is that I've purposely scheduled this as a "free range" kinda day. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sober4life Posted October 2, 2018 Share Posted October 2, 2018 I'm going for training today at the nursing home. Today will be the worst day of the year I'm sure. I have to show these people what I can do though or mom will never make it home. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ladysmurf Posted October 2, 2018 Share Posted October 2, 2018 21 hours ago, jeremiah said: You are not nobody. You are an important part of this world. Just as deserving and important as everyone else. yes but they all moved on, barely talk to me...they are out with their careers, families, etc...and I'm just stuck at home....it is not a great feeling. I am jealous that they are able to live their lives without an illness stopping them from doing so. I don't wish harm on them. Even though some forgot about me, it's logical because they are married with kids, and too busy , and I'm not so not much to talk about it, but it still hurts. I dont think I will ever get better, and I've lost hope too Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rattler6 Posted October 2, 2018 Share Posted October 2, 2018 On 9/29/2018 at 9:20 AM, ladysmurf said: I have tried many things...there isn't any for some people.. I understand you completely. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sober4life Posted October 2, 2018 Share Posted October 2, 2018 I'm getting much worse again and mom is getting much worse again. We aren't going to make it it's that simple. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nightjar Posted October 2, 2018 Share Posted October 2, 2018 1 hour ago, ladysmurf said: yes but they all moved on, barely talk to me...they are out with their careers, families, etc...and I'm just stuck at home....it is not a great feeling. I am jealous that they are able to live their lives without an illness stopping them from doing so. I don't wish harm on them. Even though some forgot about me, it's logical because they are married with kids, and too busy , and I'm not so not much to talk about it, but it still hurts. I dont think I will ever get better, and I've lost hope too I'm going through this too. My 'friends' left me behind also. It's very hard and I'm sorry that you are going through this too I hope you can take some comfort here on the forums. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rattler6 Posted October 2, 2018 Share Posted October 2, 2018 Very depressed, tired and hopeless. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sober4life Posted October 2, 2018 Share Posted October 2, 2018 I don't have anything I have to do now until Monday and I'm going to take every moment of that time to devote to self care and get myself back. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nightjar Posted October 2, 2018 Share Posted October 2, 2018 Have been feeling really tired and a bit, sort of helpless really. Have felt dizzy today too just sitting in my chair which is a bit worrying. It has set my hypochondria off. Oh, and the pensioner who lives across the road has more of a life than me! Don't know whether to laugh or cry about that one 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Twister Posted October 2, 2018 Share Posted October 2, 2018 7 hours ago, ladysmurf said: yes but they all moved on, barely talk to me...they are out with their careers, families, etc...and I'm just stuck at home....it is not a great feeling. I am jealous that they are able to live their lives without an illness stopping them from doing so. I don't wish harm on them. Even though some forgot about me, it's logical because they are married with kids, and too busy , and I'm not so not much to talk about it, but it still hurts. I dont think I will ever get better, and I've lost hope too I’m so sorry, ladysmurf. I can definitely relate to the loneliness you feel. It’s easy to feel “left behind” when others are simply tied up with their busy lives. You are surely not alone in that. I’ve always loved the quote “Comparison is the thief of joy”. I have to remind myself (OFTEN) how toxic and harmful it is to compare my strengths and my struggles to those of others. It such a tough habit to break. My “baby steps” goal is to be as mindful of that as possible. What an eye opener. Big hugs to you... 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheSandman Posted October 2, 2018 Share Posted October 2, 2018 I'm back to sleeping 10 hours a night, so that's good, I guess? But the fact that my dreams are so much better than reality and that is the main reason I'm okay with sleeping 10 hours is probably not the best. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MatthewPA Posted October 2, 2018 Share Posted October 2, 2018 (edited) Well dad is stopping cancer treatments because he can't tolerate any of them. It's down to how long he can hold off the cancer. Really feel at a low point. And then I still am not sure what my own colonoscopy will show.. my life is only sorrow and worry. Edited October 2, 2018 by MatthewPA Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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