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I hate my body and my face, why couldn't I have been beautiful?


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I don't get why I was given small boobs. I hate my 34B's. I hate feeling fat when I'm only 120 lbs. I hate that I'm so insecure, I can't look at something funny my boyfriend shows me on his phone because I'm afraid he might scroll past one of the big titted bimbos he follows, then my self-esteem will drop in the moment and I will become upset with myself. I hate my nose because it's weird. I hate not being able to have money to get a boob job, nose job, etc. 

 

I can't ever believe my partner when he says I'm beautiful. I'm not. I'm not even sexy because I look like I'm still 18, fresh out of high school. I just have a baby doll face and it's almost like that is starting to work against me in certain areas. Why can't I be as sexy as Megan Fox or Cindy Kimberly? Oh, that's right, because I can't afford new clothes, because I don't have a job, because I can't work, because I have crippling anxiety/depression that's lost me all the jobs I ever had.

 

Yayyyyyyy.

Edited by sabiflitch
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I'm sorry to hear that you at a little down today.   Everyone is beautiful

in some way or another.  It's good to look good physically but it is the

heart that matters.  Most people, who think they are beautiful are really

awe full people and you can not stand their ways.  It seem to me that

you are very beautiful in the spirit that is all that matters because looks

can change and then you are stuck with just a ugly person in side.

Mature people know what is important and what is not important a

good hearted person beats a beautiful person any day.  So cheer up

my friend and don't Bow too any of them, who think they got it going on. 

  

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I think you are being Wayyyyyyy too hard on yourself.  You are holding yourself up to impossible standards that no one can live up to.  Not even Megan Fox.   Learn to talk back that negative self talk when it starts to beat you up.  Thinking that you have to live up to impossible standards of beauty is the greatest con job ever put on women in our society.  Look at Marilyn Monroe and Anna Nicole Smith.  Women judged beautiful by society but completely depressed to the point they took their own lives with drugs.  Given the choice between Money, Fame, Attractiveness or Happiness I would choice happiness every time because I can live with a bad job/or temporary unemployment and I can survive on limited money, and fame is overrated (online hate, stalkers, etc).  But not being happy is just torture.  Every time you tell yourself these negative things immediately tell yourself 3 things you like about yourself.  Stay strong

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37 minutes ago, sabiflitch said:

I don't get why I was given small boobs. I hate my 34B's. I hate feeling fat when I'm only 120 lbs. I hate that I'm so insecure, I can't look at something funny my boyfriend shows me on his phone because I'm afraid he might scroll past one of the big titted bimbos he follows, then my self-esteem will drop in the moment and I will become upset with myself. I hate my nose because it's weird. I hate not being able to have money to get a boob job, nose job, etc. 

 

I can't ever believe my partner when he says I'm beautiful. I'm not. I'm not even sexy because I look like I'm still 18, fresh out of high school. I just have a baby doll face and it's almost like that is starting to work against me in certain areas. Why can't I be as sexy as Megan Fox or Cindy Kimberly? Oh, that's right, because I can't afford new clothes, because I don't have a job, because I can't work, because I have crippling anxiety/depression that's lost me all the jobs I ever had.

 

Yayyyyyyy.

 Don't be so hard on yourself . You would be surprised to know that many people like the ones you mentioned have insecurities about something in their life/looks too.  Like jsop said don't torture yourself comparing yourself to others. We are all unique in our own ways, and we all have our good and bad, that we need to accept and appreciate!!!

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12 minutes ago, jsop4 said:

I think you are being Wayyyyyyy too hard on yourself.  You are holding yourself up to impossible standards that no one can live up to.  Not even Megan Fox.   Learn to talk back that negative self talk when it starts to beat you up.  Thinking that you have to live up to impossible standards of beauty is the greatest con job ever put on women in our society.  Look at Marilyn Monroe and Anna Nicole Smith.  Women judged beautiful by society but completely depressed to the point they took their own lives with drugs.  Given the choice between Money, Fame, Attractiveness or Happiness I would choice happiness every time because I can live with a bad job/or temporary unemployment and I can survive on limited money, and fame is overrated (online hate, stalkers, etc).  But not being happy is just torture.  Every time you tell yourself these negative things immediately tell yourself 3 things you like about yourself.  Stay strong

Agree with you 100%

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3 hours ago, ladysmurf said:

 Don't be so hard on yourself . You would be surprised to know that many people like the ones you mentioned have insecurities about something in their life/looks too.  Like jsop said don't torture yourself comparing yourself to others. We are all unique in our own ways, and we all have our good and bad, that we need to accept and appreciate!!!

Yeah that is true. I feel better now thank god. Morning times are usually when my depression is at it's worst and it's all I can do to break out of it before it consumes my entire day!

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3 hours ago, jsop4 said:

I think you are being Wayyyyyyy too hard on yourself.  You are holding yourself up to impossible standards that no one can live up to.  Not even Megan Fox.   Learn to talk back that negative self talk when it starts to beat you up.  Thinking that you have to live up to impossible standards of beauty is the greatest con job ever put on women in our society.  Look at Marilyn Monroe and Anna Nicole Smith.  Women judged beautiful by society but completely depressed to the point they took their own lives with drugs.  Given the choice between Money, Fame, Attractiveness or Happiness I would choice happiness every time because I can live with a bad job/or temporary unemployment and I can survive on limited money, and fame is overrated (online hate, stalkers, etc).  But not being happy is just torture.  Every time you tell yourself these negative things immediately tell yourself 3 things you like about yourself.  Stay strong

Thank you. It's hard to love myself, mostly because I don't do anything that gives me self-worth. But.. I understand and see what you're saying and I'm going to change my attitude for the rest of the day.

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Societal expectations for beauty are artificial. They are made up by some highly-paid marketing people behind the scenes whose job it is to condition us to a certain look.

Remember the TV Show "Ugly Betty"? I despised it because the actress was NOT really ugly. She was this pretty woman who played an ugly woman and it was terribly insulting. But it highlighted the stupid crap that gets shoved down our throats via movies, TV, internet, etc.

I work across the street from an online clothing company that markets to young, hip women. The models often come in for photo shoots. They are without exception tall and skeletal. Their ethnicities vary, but they all look like variations of a Barbie Doll. Honestly, the "grunt" female employees of the company are far more attractive to me because they look like actual real human beings. Not some creepy stick figures that are somehow supposed to be ideals for the rest of us to strive for.

We feel pressured to look fake. Being an ugly person myself, I just don't care. I'm not "one of them."  Whatever, I've got a life to live.

 

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1 minute ago, JD4010 said:

Societal expectations for beauty are artificial. They are made up by some highly-paid marketing people behind the scenes whose job it is to condition us to a certain look.

Remember the TV Show "Ugly Betty"? I despised it because the actress was NOT really ugly. She was this pretty woman who played an ugly woman and it was terribly insulting. But it highlighted the stupid crap that gets shoved down our throats via movies, TV, internet, etc.

I work across the street from an online clothing company that markets to young, hip women. The models often come in for photo shoots. They are without exception tall and skeletal. Their ethnicities vary, but they all look like variations of a Barbie Doll. Honestly, the "grunt" female employees of the company are far more attractive to me because they look like actual real human beings. Not some creepy stick figures that are somehow supposed to be ideals for the rest of us to strive for.

We feel pressured to look fake. Being an ugly person myself, I just don't care. I'm not "one of them."  Whatever, I've got a life to live.

 

 

"I've got a life to live." I like that, makes total sense. I liked the show Ugly Betty too, it was decent. A lot of times I am really happy with how I look, but it's a weird battle. I know if I had confidence and some drive, I would be really attractive lol.

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41 minutes ago, JD4010 said:

Societal expectations for beauty are artificial. They are made up by some highly-paid marketing people behind the scenes whose job it is to condition us to a certain look.

Remember the TV Show "Ugly Betty"? I despised it because the actress was NOT really ugly. She was this pretty woman who played an ugly woman and it was terribly insulting. But it highlighted the stupid crap that gets shoved down our throats via movies, TV, internet, etc.

I work across the street from an online clothing company that markets to young, hip women. The models often come in for photo shoots. They are without exception tall and skeletal. Their ethnicities vary, but they all look like variations of a Barbie Doll. Honestly, the "grunt" female employees of the company are far more attractive to me because they look like actual real human beings. Not some creepy stick figures that are somehow supposed to be ideals for the rest of us to strive for.

We feel pressured to look fake. Being an ugly person myself, I just don't care. I'm not "one of them."  Whatever, I've got a life to live.

 

social expectations on beauty, are so unrealistic !!! but that's what sells , and that's what they make people think that everyone should like, and strive for,  when we all know that's not TRUE or possible!!! So I totally agree with you. they really do pressure people to look fake and what they consider "normal" according to the latest trends/fashion/etc ... which causes a lot of damage to peoples self-esteem, and if you are already dealing with anxiety and depression it's even harder..  I think beauty is subjective, so no I wouldn't consider anyone ugly. What I find attractive in a guy might be hilarious or unattractive to another woman, and the same goes for a guy. We can't all like the same thing. Like I said I wouldn't call anyone ugly, because I think we all have different appearances, and good and bad qualities that people admire about us..

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For me a change in looks can help me. Right now I’m joining a gym so I can lose weight and look good so I can feel better about myself. Get new clothes, try new makeup etc. you might be surprised at how much it could help. 

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It seems like your bf contributes to this.  You mentioned him a lot when talking about this stuff. You should talk to him about how you feel and see how he reacts. He sounds a bit controlling at this in your other posts . But I agree with the other commenters you are too hard on yourself because you're comparing yourself to these ig girls that probably got plastic surgery has fake boob's and Photoshop their pictures. Nobody is perfect and quite honestly you sound like you have a body that a lot of girls would want also.  You also seem very open minded and caring. Don't let crazy high unrealistic beauty standards make you feel ugly when Youre not 

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Dear Sabiflitch, 

Thank you for sharing your thoughts and concerns with us. Have you ever thought that the true beauty is not the from the outside to inside but is from the inside to the outside? It is good like women we would like to be attractive for men. That is normal in us. But we cannot lose the perspective thinking if we made cosmetic surgeries in our bodies our self-esteem will improve and it is not true. There are some people who fall in to a lifetime of plastic surgeries and never are satisfied with the results. If you search in the internet of actors and actresses you will realize that they have ruined their themselves.  Let me tell you that those actresses that you mentioned in your post look very good in the magazines because is the help of the Photoshop. It is false image of them. When they see their pictures in the magazine they realize that it is not their bodies. Photographers have to do for selling and making money. If the actresses’ bodies would not look perfect, they could not sell. It simple like that. I encourage you to be more objective towards the media said. Do not believe all that you see because at the end that does not guarantee the happiness in your life. It is true that everyone wants to be  accepted and appreciated for others but it will not be necessarily for the way that look but for the way that you are. In spite of this situation let me tell you that you are important and valuable person and you are a person worth of dignity. Maybe you can take out the good of this situation that you have to deal with. . I encourage you not to consider to modify your body because the side effects. Have you ever thought seeking Counseling or therapy? Counseling or therapy works through things like this. You are valuable and worth of fighting for. Therapy is important because it can help you to discover what are the roots of your anxiety /depression and help you to improve your self-esteem.  Please let me tell you my friend that you are not alone in this battle. This article is great and may be extremely important for you are going through: Please can you open the attached below. Sending you hugs.  I will keep you in my prayers, my friend. Keep us posted, OK?.

 

Edited by 20YearsandCounting
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  • 2 months later...
1 hour ago, CloudsInMyChamomile11 said:

Sabiflitch, I can relate to some of the things you said regarding my depression and anxiety having gotten in the way of me being able to work.  But I want to address some of the other things you said.  You should know that this is all my opinion so take all I say with a grain of salt.  Being perceived as beautiful has upsides but it has many downsides.  These downsides diminish the value of being perceived as beautiful, greatly.  Basing the majority of your value on your physical appearance is a game that all women are bound to lose, in time.  There are many outside factors that pressure women into basing their total value on their physical appearance, as well.  Women want to please men (if they're straight) and so since many men and society pay a lot of attention to women's physical attributes over their internal attributes, women become conditioned to do the same.  But because there's a lot of contempt for women, it is never enough.  The expectations are set up to be impossible to achieve.  No matter what a woman does, she is looked down on in some way.  This is a game one can't really win, so why keep playing it? 

Right now, for myself, I'm focusing on reaching intrinsically motivated goals.  I've had many painful experiences as of late where I felt like I didn't matter, was being looked down on, dismissed, overlooked, diminished and that there was contempt for me by others who I wanted to like and value me.  I also had achieved an intrinsic goal for myself but some others didn't see the value in what I had accomplished and treated me in a way and said certain things, that were very hurtful to me.  There will always be someone who will be displeased by some attribute you possess.  There are people who like small breasts and would look down on you for having big ones.  There are people who hate fake breasts.  Plus, you can't control how people are going to react to you or what people are going to think about you, no matter what you do. 

Life is too short to base your value on what others value and appreciate.  Often times, people only value and appreciate those who are like themselves which is a bit narcissistic and conceited, if you ask me.  If your partner can't accept you as you are, then maybe he isn't the one for you.  It takes a lot of courage and strength to walk in this world on your own and live according to your own values, ethics and intrinsically motivated expectations for yourself but it's worth a try.  How physically attractive we were or weren't perceived, won't matter when we're lying on our death beds but how we lived our lives, overall.  Don't get me wrong, I like being perceived as pretty and attractive but I no longer want to base that much of my value on it.  I have many other attributes that I want to nurture and grow, right now and if certain MEN along with others don't value those attributes in me then frankly, f*** 'em, that's how I feel about that.  I hope we both can get to a better place when it comes to our self-worth and self-value. 

Awesome, my friend and you truly are a bright shining star 🌟 

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I'm so sorry you're in pain!  Our culture does a number on us women.  (I'm sure men get it somehow, but since I'm female, I don't feel their pain around the issue.)  "Use this lipstick, this scent, wear this skirt, this b.r.a, wax all hair not on your head, whiten your teeth, color your hair,  lose weight, do pilates, do yoga,  . . . "  The standard of beauty seems to be a Victoria's Secret model sashaying around in s.e.x.y. u.n.d.e.r.w.e.a.r!!!  It's no wonder women feel diminished.  It sounds to me like you're being EXTREMELY hard on yourself, especially given the stats you shared.

When I was young I gained a lot of weight suddenly at puberty.  I spent my adolescence on a rigid food regimen and lost the weight on 1250 calories per day, exercising 3 days a week.  Even at that young age, it took me a year to lose 45 lbs.  And I never believed I was good enough.  Thin enough.  Pretty enough -- just NOT ENOUGH. 

I was complaining to my late brother one day (years ago) about aging and the difficulty navigating a slowing metabolism (10% each decade).  Always sardonic yet hilarious he said to me: "Ten years from now, you're going to wish you looked like you do now."

 

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We in a a society where beauty and photoshopped images are shoved down our throat but remember this, 90% of photos online these days or even in magazines are photoshopped and Ive seen woman on instagram and it makes me depressed too. I dont think your ugly but I do think your a victim of society where hollywood and magazines make woman look perfect

 watch videos on youtube of woman before and after makeup or before and after photoshop and you dont do not realise what harm these photographers and magazines do to people so I try to ignore it and think to myself that these woman are just like me but they have been airbrushed to look perfect but theres no thing as perfection because everyone has something they dont like about their body

I hate one of two parts of my body and I have several scares I hate one right across the drop of my head from an accident

nobodys perfect and I truely believe that if people were perfect the world would be a dull place

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Anorexia is overrated. Im a guy and i dont find stringbean models attractive. 

I used to have poor body image when i was younger too. Years later i found out lots of girls were interested in me, but i was too busy hiding from the world to notice at the time.

As others have said, give yourself a break. Im sure youre fine.

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  • 1 month later...
On 8/15/2018 at 10:38 AM, sabiflitch said:

I don't get why I was given small boobs. I hate my 34B's. I hate feeling fat when I'm only 120 lbs. I hate that I'm so insecure, I can't look at something funny my boyfriend shows me on his phone because I'm afraid he might scroll past one of the big titted bimbos he follows, then my self-esteem will drop in the moment and I will become upset with myself. I hate my nose because it's weird. I hate not being able to have money to get a boob job, nose job, etc. 

 

I can't ever believe my partner when he says I'm beautiful. I'm not. I'm not even sexy because I look like I'm still 18, fresh out of high school. I just have a baby doll face and it's almost like that is starting to work against me in certain areas. Why can't I be as sexy as Megan Fox or Cindy Kimberly? Oh, that's right, because I can't afford new clothes, because I don't have a job, because I can't work, because I have crippling anxiety/depression that's lost me all the jobs I ever had.

 

Yayyyyyyy.

sorry to hear you are so down. I can only imagine though that all those "sexy" men and women that people consider so beautiful and perfect how many problems they have. do you know? sometimes i feel bad for them because they have to pretend to live a fake life to please their followers and fans..i wouldn't want that..

i hated high school, some kids are so ignorant and i felt like i could breathe when i graduated i was so happy!!!...are you getting any help for anxiety or depression?? i hope you feel better!

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Hi @sabiflitch,

Lots of people find themselves unattractive.  I have never seen myself as attractive but I take very good care of myself anyways because it keeps away a lot of health issues. 

Megan Fox is a complete turd.  I wonder how she got her positions. I truly wonder. 

120lbs is probably not overweight for your height.  If it is a healthy weight you should maintain it as being overweight is not good for the rest of your body.

Do not be hard on yourself for features that you cannot change.  Plastic surgery is not usually insured for a reason and it can have complications.  Not all guys like busty girls. 

Sounds like you need to work on your anxiety.  You will overcome it. 

 

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